Tag: connection

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Victory

Stand Firm

Getting on the same page about boundaries is often harder than naming them. Boundaries require resolve, restraint, and sometimes the hardest discipline of all is not moving, remaining steadfast.

Paul’s words in Ephesians 6:13–17 have fascinated me for a long time, especially this idea:

“…and after you have done everything, stand firm.”

That line stops me every time.

As a fairly literal and imaginative person, the instruction to stand immediately creates images in my mind. I picture my feet planted in sand while waves crash relentlessly against my legs. I imagine standing in the middle of a storm while the wind tries to knock me off balance. You get the idea being asked to stand firm when nothing else is working feels deeply counterintuitive to our human instinct of “I can fix this if I just do more.”

Standing feels passive. Almost powerless.

But then something shifted.

Because I love history, I came across the phrase stand firm in the context of ancient military battle formations. That discovery changed everything.

When a battle intensified, army leaders typically had four strategic options. One of them was to stand firm. This didn’t mean giving up or freezing in fear it meant tightening formation.

In this manoeuvre, soldiers arranged themselves into a unified shape, often a square, lining up shield to shield on every side. The Romans famously used this formation, and it helped them win countless battles. Why?

Because standing firm was:

  • Defensive by design.
  • Cohesive: every soldier’s position mattered
  • Disciplined: if one-person broke rank, the entire defense could collapse
  • Resilient: it could withstand enemy charges and often break the enemy’s momentum instead

Strength wasn’t found in individual heroics.
Strength was found in unity and position.

Now, put that military lens over Paul’s deliberate words.

Suddenly, standing firm no longer sounds like me digging deep and hoping I don’t fall. It looks like being deliberately positioned, fully equipped, and surrounded.

It looks like being in a battle where I’m not alone.

I’m no longer imagining myself standing solo against overwhelming odds. I’m standing in formation with God beside me, before me, and behind me. I have no reason to break rank. No need to panic or overextend. The armour Paul describes isn’t for movement away from the fight; it’s for endurance within it.

This reframes boundaries entirely.

Sometimes boundaries aren’t about advancing or retreating. Sometimes they are about standing firm in the position God has already called us to hold. When we do, trusting His strength instead of our own we discover that standing firm can be one of the most powerful acts of faith we ever practice.

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Victory

I didn’t know it was this pretty

I don’t know about you, but sometimes it can feel like an impossible task just getting the kids out of the house for a bush walk. When they were little, they didn’t question it they simply came along for the adventure. These days? Not so much.

Recently, after about 30 minutes of persuasion, I finally convinced my 10-year-old (and the dog!) to jump in the car for a short drive to a walking track we hadn’t visited in years.

About one kilometre in, she smiled and said, “Oh Mum, this is so good.”

Two kilometres in: “How much further to the quarry?”

Three kilometres in, we reached an old, abandoned quarry that has slowly been reclaimed by nature. Crystal-clear water, native plants, birds darting across the surface, it was breathtaking.

She stopped at the waters edge and said, “Oh Mum, I didn’t know it was this pretty.” (The photo above is one she took herself.)

As we walked back, I couldn’t help but think how often we do exactly the same thing as adults.

We put things off because they seem like too much effort. We delay the phone call, skip the walk, postpone catching up with a friend, or avoid trying something new because we assume it won’t be worth it. We wait until we feel motivated before we act.

I’m certainly guilty of that.

That afternoon reminded me of something simple: sometimes we just need to show up and let ourselves be surprised.

The walk wasn’t extraordinary because it was perfectly planned. It became memorable because we took the first step. The beauty wasn’t waiting in our lounge room; it was waiting on the other side of a little resistance.

I wonder if we’ve started expecting amazement to come before action. Perhaps we’ve got it the wrong way around.

Maybe motivation isn’t the starting point at all. Maybe it grows as we move. Maybe wonder is not found before we begin, but because we chose to begin.

So this week, do the thing that sounds quietly good. Take the walk. Visit the place you’ve been meaning to explore. Invite the friend for coffee. Put the phone down and step outside.

You might just discover that some of life’s most beautiful moments aren’t planned they’re found by those willing to take the first step.

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Leadership

Leadership trait: Simplifying compexities

One of the greatest gifts a leader can offer is clarity.

In every area of life, complexity has a way of creeping in. Calendars fill up, commitments multiply, decisions become overwhelming, and before long we find ourselves busy but unsure if we’re moving in the right direction. Great leaders don’t add to the noise they help people make sense of it.

They simplify complexity.

This isn’t about pretending life is simple or ignoring difficult realities. It’s about bringing clarity where there is confusion, helping people focus on what matters most, and removing unnecessary distractions so energy is invested where it will have the greatest impact.

The same is true in our homes.

As parents, it’s easy to believe our children need every opportunity, every activity, every experience. We can unintentionally create lives that are so full there is little room left for rest, connection, creativity, or simply being together.

Children rarely ask for complicated lives. More often than not, they long for predictable rhythms, meaningful conversations, shared meals, and families who are fully present. Perhaps one of the most important leadership decisions we can make isn’t asking, “What else should we add?” but instead, “What can we remove?”

Can the calendar be less crowded?

Can dinner become a protected time together?

Can we say no to something good so we can say yes to something better?

Can our homes become places where peace is cultivated rather than constantly competing with busyness?

Simplifying complexity isn’t about lowering expectations. It’s about making room for what matters most.

As leaders in our families, our role is not to carry every opportunity into our family’s life but to carefully discern which ones truly align with the values we hope to build. When we remove the unnecessary, we create space for connection, growth, laughter, faith, and memories that often become the moments our children remember most.

Take a moment today to ask yourself: What could I simplify this week?

Sometimes the greatest act of leadership isn’t doing more.

It’s having the wisdom to do less, with greater purpose.

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Leadership

#homesofvictory

Everything about being a leader is like being a parent. It is about committing to the well-being of those in our care and having a willingness to make sacrifices to see their interests advanced so that they may carry our banner long after we are gone.

Simon Sinek

What kind of legacy are you building for your family?

It often brings me great joy to hear how my kids behave when I’m not around. One day, when my son was about 11 years old, I was picking him up from a friend’s house. His friend’s dad pulled me aside with a sombre look on his face and asked, “How does he know to put his dirty dishes in the sink?”

For a split second, my mind raced. I was expecting a conversation about poor behaviour and was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be quite the opposite.

My response, in hindsight, probably wasn’t all that helpful. I simply smiled and said, “We ask the kids every single night to do it.”

What I didn’t say was that we were also tired of asking every single night.

Like many parents, we’d wondered if the constant reminders were making any difference at all. Yet, when we weren’t there to prompt him, he remembered. He chose to do the right thing because it had quietly become part of who he was.

It’s a simple illustration of the legacy we are choosing to build.

Legacy is rarely created through grand gestures. More often, it is formed through ordinary moments repeated consistently over time. Every conversation, every boundary, every family meal, every reminder to be kind, honest, respectful, and responsible is laying another brick in the foundation of your children’s future.

The truth is, our children may not remember every instruction we gave them, but they will remember the culture we created. They will carry our values into classrooms, workplaces, friendships, marriages, and one day, perhaps into their own families.

So don’t grow weary in the repetition. The habits you’re reinforcing today are becoming the character your children will carry tomorrow. One day, someone else may quietly notice the fruit of your faithfulness, and you’ll realise that the small things were never small after all.

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Leadership

Leadeship trait: running interference

This might not be the first leadership trait that comes to mind, but it is often one of the first to be noticed. There are seasons when leaders need to play offence driving vision, making decisions, and creating momentum. At other times, they need to play defence protecting their people, absorbing pressure, navigating conflict, and creating the space their team needs to do their best work.

The same is true in our homes.

As parents, there are moments when we need to be unwavering advocates for our children, whether that’s partnering with their school, speaking up on their behalf, or helping them navigate difficult situations. Other times, our role is quieter. We cheer them on from the sidelines, create healthy boundaries, or simply stand between them and the pressures of the world, giving them the freedom to grow, flourish, and enjoy being children for a little longer.

None of this is easy. Parenting constantly asks us to balance protection with preparation, shelter with resilience, and guidance with growing independence.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the amount of news my teenagers consume. I want them to understand the world and become thoughtful, informed adults. At the same time, I want to preserve a little more of their childhood before the weight of the world’s problems becomes theirs to carry. It’s a delicate balance. Ironically, some of the richest and most meaningful conversations we’ve had as a family have come from the stories they’ve read. The tension is real, and there isn’t always a perfect answer.

Perhaps that’s what running interference looks like. It’s not about shielding our children from every challenge or solving every problem for them. It’s about prayerfully and intentionally discerning when to step in, when to step back, and when to create the space they need to grow safely.

Take a moment today to consider this question: How can you create the conditions for your family to flourish? Where might you need to remove a barrier, absorb a little pressure, or protect your children’s hearts and minds for this season?

There will be times when they won’t understand why you stepped in. But one day, they may look back and realise you weren’t limiting their world you were preparing them for it.

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Victory

The hotshot perspective

“If a hotshot took over your job today, what’s the first thing they would fix that you’ve been tolerating?”

Kat Cole

This powerful reflection often attributed to business leader Kat Cole and her “Hotshot Rule” is a question worth pausing on. It’s a big question but it can also be a very gentle invitation.

In the busyness of family life, it’s easy to carry on with things that “just work… well enough.” The rushed mornings. The clutter that never quite gets cleared. The conversations we mean to have but put off for another day. We tolerate small stresses because life is full and we’re doing our best.

But imagine, just for a moment, stepping back and looking at your family with fresh eyes. With compassion and clarity, not the lens of busy and chaos. What’s one small thing that could make your home feel calmer, kinder, or more connected?

Maybe it’s creating a simple routine that makes mornings less stressful.
Maybe it’s setting aside intentional time together each week.
Maybe it’s letting go of something that’s been weighing on your family whether it’s clutter, pressure, or unrealistic expectations.

The point isn’t to do everything. It’s to notice one thing.

What makes this rule so powerful is that it reminds us: change doesn’t always require a major overhaul. Often, it starts with an honest reflection and one small step forward.

Because you don’t need a “hotshot” to come in and fix things. You already have the insight and the heart to begin. ❤️

What is your one change for today?

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Victory

#homesofvictory

The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

– Paulo Coelho, Brazilian writer

Actions speak louder than words. In families and leadership, setting a good example builds trust, teaches values, and inspires change. Leading by example creates lasting impact. Children and family members learn more from what we do than what we say. When we show patience, they learn calm. When we act with integrity, they learn honesty. Leadership in families isn’t about control, it’s about consistency, presence, and modelling the values we hope to see.

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Leadership

Leadership trait: Humility

Every person that you meet knows something you don’t: learn from them.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Humility is attractive. Humility is a magnet for integrity, collaboration, appreciation, and acknowledgement.  Humility attracts staff, who will want to work with you, look forward to being around you and motivated by you. They know you will acknowledge their efforts, appreciate their hard work, and offer a human side to leadership.

Likewise, when we are humble in our homes, humble toward our children, we show them reality, the realness of life. Yes, difficulties arise, and challenges are met – not perfectly but to the best of our abilities. Granted it may take humiliation to encourage our humility but if our families witness it firsthand, how much more are they going to value us as parents. How much more are they going to value humility and being humble themselves. In turn they will begin to value integrity, want to receive our appreciation, be acknowledged, and finally behave like this towards others.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.

C. S. Lewis

Never curse a fall. The ground is where humility lives. 

Yasmin Mogahed
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Victory

#homesofvictory

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” -Thomas Jefferson

This quote is one example of a guiding truth for those leading families. Effective family leadership means adapting to changing seasons: children grow, dynamics shift, and communication styles evolve. Flexibility fosters connection and understanding.

Yet, core principles like respect, honesty, and love must remain unshaken. These values anchor the family through uncertainty and change. Leaders in families must model both adaptability and conviction, showing that while we adjust how we relate, we never compromise who we are. This balance builds trust, resilience, and a legacy of integrity across generations.

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Leadership Victory

#homesofvictory

A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader; a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves.”

Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States

This quote really speaks to the heart of us as parents. It’s really a simple truth: being a good leader in your home means you have the trust of your family, your kids, your loved ones. But being a great one? That’s when they start trusting themselves to make decisions, to put into practice what they’ve learnt, what they’ve experienced, what they’ve observed.

Our job as parents isn’t to have all the answers, it’s to help our kids, our family believe that they do. Lift them up, and they’ll surprise you every time.

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Victory

Undefeated = Victorious

We love it when our sporting team is undefeated. It’s such a strong word. One that sends a clear message. Momentum builds when a team keeps winning: the joy of the streak, the confidence that others are trying and still can’t break through. Undefeated carries both strength and quiet authority.

It got me thinking… are we living undefeated? Are we living in victory?

So often, we feel the need to defend ourselves, our thoughts, our opinions, our integrity, who we are at our core. Pause for a moment and ask: why?

Why do we, as humans, feel this need?

Dare I suggest ego?
Dare I say the desire to be heard?
Or perhaps the need to feel elevated, validated, or more knowledgeable?

It doesn’t take much to see this play out. Read the news. Scroll through online forums. Take discussions about something as simple as personal car use or travel choices, the list goes on. We see identity and worth tangled up in opinion. Yet our identity and perspective are not meant to be dictated by external factors.

Yes, the current global climate affects every one of us. But our response, our attitude, whether or not we live in victory, remains our choice.

To live undefeated means nothing is truly defeating us.

To live in victory doesn’t mean we never face battles. It doesn’t mean life will be perfect; it never will be. It doesn’t mean every dream will come to pass, some may not.

What it does mean is this:
Our reaction, our response, our disposition toward life can be the best it can be and that is a choice we get to make.

In a wild and noisy world, I want to encourage you to lift your eyes above it all and choose to live undefeated. Choose to live in victory. It’s not about what’s happening around us, it’s about remembering that we have a choice.

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Leadership Victory

Choosing Influence Over Overwhelm 

Recently, I was lucky enough to be in New York on a study tour, where I had the opportunity to interview some truly incredible people working in roles similar to mine.

One conversation in particular has stayed with me.

She spoke about the changes she’s witnessed in her community over time especially the visible and alarming rise in mental health concerns. Increasingly, frontline staff are encountering difficult and negative interactions linked directly to people experiencing crisis. While she remained hopeful and deeply committed to the role she and her team play in supporting community members in need, the emotional toll was unmistakable.

So, I asked her a question that many of us quietly hold: How do you lead a frontline team through incidents involving people in crisis, especially when you simply can’t fix the situation?

Her response was both honest and powerful.

She shared that when situations feel heartbreaking and gut‑wrenching, she asks her team one simple grounding question:

Is this a problem we can solve within our scope of work, something within our control or is this a broader societal issue?

She said, “I can’t give unhoused people a home. But my team and I can treat them with dignity, respect, and refer them appropriately. I can’t change the cost‑of‑living crisis. But I can continue to offer our free service with kindness, clear boundaries, and an understanding of the pressures impacting our community.”

I’ve mulled over this response many times since. At its heart, it’s about control and influence. What we can and can’t control, and where our influence truly lies.

Bringing this perspective into our homes can help us make sense of everything happening in the world around us. When something feels overwhelming, we can pause and ask: Is this something my family and I can control or influence? Or is this something we need to navigate together as part of a wider social, economic, or global challenge?

We absolutely have a say in how we teach our children to behave what we don’t control is how every other child behaves.

We absolutely have control over how we manage our household budget, even if we don’t like the external pressures of rising costs. I can’t change the cost of living, but I can change how I approach it, plan for it, and move through it.

And perhaps most importantly, we absolutely have control over our own actions, thoughts, and emotions. We can notice them before we tip into anger, frustration, or impatience. We can pause, reset, and choose differently. And when joy bubbles over, we can share it freely, because positivity, when offered generously, becomes wonderfully contagious.

What I can’t control is how others respond.
What I can do is show up with kindness, clarity, and compassion and trust that small, intentional choices still make a meaningful difference.

And sometimes, that’s more than enough.

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Victory

Strong vs Stubborn

In my life I’ve been called strong and I’ve been called stubborn. I’ve called my kids strong to their faces and stubborn behind their backs. Is one trait better than the other or do they hold their own merit?

Stubbornness is a skill and an art. A person can be thought stubborn for no reason other than they have dug their heels in. Likewise a person can be thought stubborn for not giving up and being persistent until the goal is achieved.

In leadership being stubborn tends to have negative connotations, while the trait of being strong tends to imply a positive.

How then can we have the right tension between stubborn and strong. How can we still be perceived as a strong leader without the negative pull of being stubborn.

An example of this rang true in my home one afternoon. My 10 yr old approached me and asked if she could do a $10 pocket money job. Usually at my place the going rate for a pocket money job is $1 with the max of $2 for a car wash. … I suggested she could fold the washing for $2 as I was feeling generous. She asked for $3, I said $2 and the back and forth negotiation continued for some time. I finally said, it’s my final price if you want it do it, if not don’t. I was testing her resolve as I knew she wanted money to buy books. ( Side note: she is a book worm and spends every cent she gets on books) She walked off a little upset, turned around and said in a quiet voice, “Oh well you miss out….” She thought she could one up me by implying that I now needed to do the folding… when I assumed she missed out on pocket money as the task wasn’t done. By the way the folding still didn’t get done for a few days…

Can you see it – we are both stubborn and strong. We at times go toe to toe and I rarely pull out the line – “I’m just as stubborn as you, I’ve got all day….” I figure I have that privilege for want of a better word, as I am the parent. Placing this in a work environment, I would never make this type of comment, nor would I accept this level of stubborn. I would on the other hand accept this type of strong – if it was respectful. What I would also accept and action is working with staff on their stubbornness – turning it into a positive.

In our modern day and age of busy – do we take the time to look at the stubborn and see the potential? The potential determination, the strength and the tenacity? Or do we see the perceived weakness and dismiss it? I try so hard, to not tell my children they are stubborn – I’m not perfect, but I try to use the word determined or tenacious. I try to flip the perceived negativity around the word stubborn into the perceived positive of strength, tenacity and determination. These traits you will all agree are awesome to have as an adult in the real world, but when your a child – living in a family environment – stubborness is not always the most sought after skills. Likewise, when you are a parent of a stubborn child – it is not the most desirable either.

To balance the tension between strong and stubborn it is vital to connect with the character behind the stubborn, connect with the character behind the strong and you will be delighted with what you find. Draw out the positives, direct and steer them towards determination, tenacity, never giving up attitudes and leadership. They will not let you down.

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Victory

Shaping Leaders: Susanna Wesley

I am taking a step back in history to the late 1600’s and early 1700’s and examining the amazing leadership style of a woman named Susanna Wesley. What is she famous for you ask? Why choose her as a leader? She is the mother of two world movers and shakers – John and Charles Wesley. In fact, she was a mother to 19 children, tragically by the time she passed away only 8 were still alive. Being a mother is important, being a father is important – being a parent is the greatest leadership role you will ever have.

For those unfamiliar with the work of John and Charles Wesley – here is a super quick run down: John Wesley single handedly started the Methodist denomination – focused on charity works that has spread globally and is still in operation today. His brother Charles Wesley wrote some 6000 hymns in his lifetime some of which are still sung today – 300 years later. To say both men changed the world is an understatement but you get the idea.

Back to their mother – Susanna. She lived a life of hardship – her husband was frequently jailed for gambling debts, their house burnt down twice – she managed to rebuild it, she even stopped her husband from living in the family home for a period of time due to an unresolved dispute. She was tough, strong and courageous. When she was without her husband (read big deal back in the 1690’s) she continued to run a tight household as noted in a letter to her husband:

I am a woman, but I am also the mistress of a large family. And though the superior charge of the souls contained in it lies upon you, yet in your long absence I cannot but look upon every soul you leave under my charge as a talent committed to me under a trust. I am not a man nor a minister, yet as a mother and a mistress I felt I ought to do more than I had yet done. I resolved to begin with my own children; in which I observe the following method: I take such a proportion of time as I can spare every night to discourse with each child apart.

Susanna Wesley

I love it how through all the hardships she faced in her life – lack of money being the most prominent and impacting, she decided to do more than she had yet done, and began with her family. She invested and invested and invested into her children’s lives. Each child’s adult life makes for a great read. I could say so much more about her leadership – how she persisted during hard times, she was consistent with her household, she never wavered from her faith and her beliefs. She had resolve and resilience. It has been said of her that:

Although she never preached a sermon or published a book or founded a church, (she) is known as the Mother of Methodism. Why? Because two of her sons, John Wesley and Charles Wesley, as children consciously or unconsciously, applied the example and teachings and circumstances of their home life.

I love this quote about Susanna Wesley as it sums up her leadership – she set the example, lead with teaching rather than expecting and created a home environment full of learning and wonder. What more could we want for our own homes, than to have it conducive to raising world changers.

If we think about it – she sounds like one of the original Homes of Victory – it’s not about anything else other than the people in it doing life together- being courageous, intentional and generous.

Lastly, I will leave you with this thought – When you start to think ‘ I am only a Mum/ Dad” remember you are never ‘ only’ a Mum/ Dad – you are a person of great influence in your families lives. You and your influence and resolve will leave a lasting and incredible impact on your child/ren’s lives.

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Victory

I have not failed…


Failure is coming into its own after what seems like forever – it is no longer seen as a ‘ bad’ thing, a thing to avoid, a thing to hide from those around us. Modern day Failure – is what I like to call it, is being celebrated, is being acknowledged, spoken about, and most importantly learnt from. Some companies have even started ‘ Failure parties’ that celebrate the lessons learnt from failures along the way.

Even the very definition of failure is changing, as what may have been viewed as a failure in years gone by, is now seen as a valuable lesson learnt, or even better – used to fuel more research, more trial and error and eventually a greater outcome. 

Failure wrapped up in the positive, at the end of the day is still failure, and it can bring with it the emotions of disappointment, frustration, and even anger. Failure in its raw form, is still hard to swallow. What I love about Failure now is, that it is talked about, it is thought about it is dissected to a point where, greater understanding of the process behind the failure can occur.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways
that won’t work.

Thomas Edison

In team situations and family situations alike, we deal with failure in all of its glorious forms. As a leader it is critical to have empathy when failure is concerned. It may be us as leaders who have failed – we then to make sure we are humble about it. It may be our team our family, our loved ones who are dealing with a perceived failure. 

Recently my daughter struggled with two perceived failures in one week. She felt so disappointed. She was dreadfully critical of herself as she tried to unpack what happened and how she felt about it all. After listening to her talk as I drove her to her ballet lesson, I turned to her and said, ” Does this change who you are? Just because someone doesn’t think at this point you have what it takes – does that change who you are?” She looked out the window – silent. My heart sunk a little, as I hoped what I said, was received with love. She finally looked at me with a smile and said, “no”.  

Sometimes failure can blind us to the reality of who we are – we are not the failure itself. Our actions etc… may have contributed to a failure, but we ourselves are not the failure. 

When it comes to our family, when it comes to teams we lead – it is easy to take it on and feel like it is our fault. Take responsibility for your actions but do so with a positive mindset. One thing an amazing supervisor once taught me was, whenever we had a perceived failure, she would never finger point or blame. She was sit back in her chair, looking very relaxed – she would say ” What can we learn from this?” She never had preconceived ideas of what we could learn, but she encouraged everyone in the working group to reflect, and to learn for next time. That’s how I want my mindset to be. The first response to failure being “What can I learn from this?”

Of course, disappointment will still come, emotions will enter the mix, but if we choose to have a positive mindset and set our minds beyond the failure, we may just keep stepping in the right direction and face great achievements and discoveries.  

You always pass failure on the way to success.

Mickey Rooney