Tag: collaboration

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Leadership

Leadership trait: Humility

Every person that you meet knows something you don’t: learn from them.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Humility is attractive. Humility is a magnet for integrity, collaboration, appreciation, and acknowledgement.  Humility attracts staff, who will want to work with you, look forward to being around you and motivated by you. They know you will acknowledge their efforts, appreciate their hard work, and offer a human side to leadership.

Likewise, when we are humble in our homes, humble toward our children, we show them reality, the realness of life. Yes, difficulties arise, and challenges are met – not perfectly but to the best of our abilities. Granted it may take humiliation to encourage our humility but if our families witness it firsthand, how much more are they going to value us as parents. How much more are they going to value humility and being humble themselves. In turn they will begin to value integrity, want to receive our appreciation, be acknowledged, and finally behave like this towards others.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.

C. S. Lewis

Never curse a fall. The ground is where humility lives. 

Yasmin Mogahed
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Leadership

Leadership trait: Resilience

Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.

Nelson Mandela

The road is getting tougher and tougher, yet you keep on walking. Life is getting to you, yet you keep going, finding strength you didn’t know you had. You get through it, stronger and more victorious that you expected.

Hello increased resilience. Face the battle with your weapons of determination and perseverance, standing fast knowing when you succeed and you will, you will be stronger and better for it.

The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance.

Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper 
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Victory

Strong vs Stubborn

In my life I’ve been called strong and I’ve been called stubborn. I’ve called my kids strong to their faces and stubborn behind their backs. Is one trait better than the other or do they hold their own merit?

Stubbornness is a skill and an art. A person can be thought stubborn for no reason other than they have dug their heels in. Likewise a person can be thought stubborn for not giving up and being persistent until the goal is achieved.

In leadership being stubborn tends to have negative connotations, while the trait of being strong tends to imply a positive.

How then can we have the right tension between stubborn and strong. How can we still be perceived as a strong leader without the negative pull of being stubborn.

An example of this rang true in my home one afternoon. My 10 yr old approached me and asked if she could do a $10 pocket money job. Usually at my place the going rate for a pocket money job is $1 with the max of $2 for a car wash. … I suggested she could fold the washing for $2 as I was feeling generous. She asked for $3, I said $2 and the back and forth negotiation continued for some time. I finally said, it’s my final price if you want it do it, if not don’t. I was testing her resolve as I knew she wanted money to buy books. ( Side note: she is a book worm and spends every cent she gets on books) She walked off a little upset, turned around and said in a quiet voice, “Oh well you miss out….” She thought she could one up me by implying that I now needed to do the folding… when I assumed she missed out on pocket money as the task wasn’t done. By the way the folding still didn’t get done for a few days…

Can you see it – we are both stubborn and strong. We at times go toe to toe and I rarely pull out the line – “I’m just as stubborn as you, I’ve got all day….” I figure I have that privilege for want of a better word, as I am the parent. Placing this in a work environment, I would never make this type of comment, nor would I accept this level of stubborn. I would on the other hand accept this type of strong – if it was respectful. What I would also accept and action is working with staff on their stubbornness – turning it into a positive.

In our modern day and age of busy – do we take the time to look at the stubborn and see the potential? The potential determination, the strength and the tenacity? Or do we see the perceived weakness and dismiss it? I try so hard, to not tell my children they are stubborn – I’m not perfect, but I try to use the word determined or tenacious. I try to flip the perceived negativity around the word stubborn into the perceived positive of strength, tenacity and determination. These traits you will all agree are awesome to have as an adult in the real world, but when your a child – living in a family environment – stubborness is not always the most sought after skills. Likewise, when you are a parent of a stubborn child – it is not the most desirable either.

To balance the tension between strong and stubborn it is vital to connect with the character behind the stubborn, connect with the character behind the strong and you will be delighted with what you find. Draw out the positives, direct and steer them towards determination, tenacity, never giving up attitudes and leadership. They will not let you down.

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Victory

Hard…only cause we care

We found ourselves talking to our kids about having more respect towards each other and us – and indeed everyone they have a conversation with. Words are powerful right. Thanks to the teenage stage, our well-intended correctional chat was met with ” Why do you even care, it’s my choice what I say”. Oh and throw in an eye roll for good measure.

The response was valid and true… but what our teen failed to take into account in this conversation is we care because we love. Our response to this remark was ” We care because we love you. If we didn’t love you, then we honestly wouldn’t care”. Can I also add here in all honesty – sometimes it would be way easier not to care, way less effort to just let things slide, way more peaceful if we didn’t care. By the way we never say this to our kids, it’s merely a back of mind thought.

Love is often in this context the balance between emotion, fun, joy and the other end of the spectrum discipline. The tightrope us parents walk to make sure we build relationship and connection while guiding and correcting.

This response of we care because we love you, works 9 times out of 10. It stops them in their tracks. Why? It makes them think about what I call the train track of being a kid. We have a goal to grow our kids to get them to the station if you like of adulthood with the hope, they are amazing and wonderful and everything in between. However, the only way to get there – is via the track – one side is love and the other is discipline. The two tracks run parallel – sometimes we lean more into one side then the other – but to raise our kids into amazing adults – we need both sides of the track. They too need the boundaries; they need to be valued, and they need to be seen. You can’t have all of that without some form of discipline.

Tired Dad puts it this way

We don’t just raise kids. We raise future adults! who will one day reflect on how they were loved, guided and seen.

Tired Dad

So, dig deep, keep going through the hard. It will absolutely be worth caring in the end.

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Victory

The Line Through Obstacles

We are reposting a post we wrote back in 2020, it highlights some things we learnt as we spent our time navigating covid and learning to mountain bike. These lessons are still relevant today, and we are still thankful for this lesson we leant. Enjoy!

During ISO our family has discovered that the bush reserve we live near has a ton of mountain bike tracks. Almost every day we have been taking the kids on their bikes exploring the tracks. We have all learnt something very important on these bike rides.

When you are going up or down a large hill, on a dirt track full of gravel, rivets and eroded dirt, it is easy to give up. The obstacle in front of you can seem difficult, it would be easier not to bother.

Going down a large hill, can be scarier than going up a big hill. What we have taught our kids to look for at the top of the hill, is the path the bike wheels are going to take down the hill. We’ve taught them to look for the safest path to go down, avoiding the rocks, roots and whatever other obstacle is in the way. To think about the speed, they need to go down, take a breath and do it – confidently. Why? Because you’ve already chosen the path to take. In teaching them this, we have been able to talk about resilience and also looking for the path that leads them out of the obstacle. Every time, they roll down the hill and onto the flatter part of the track, the smile on their faces says – I did it, I knew I could, that was fun, I can do it again.

I am not belittling the challenges we are all facing in life at the moment, as many are life changing for individuals and families. What I am wanting to share is:

1) Don’t focus on the obstacle at hand. Look for the line, that potentially takes you through it.

2) Take your time. Spend some time in nature. Take notice of the little things and be inspired to relax, think clearly and rationally. Take deep breaths and breathe in all the things you are grateful for. It is easier to make decisions when you are not stressed and under pressure. Thinking clearly and slowly will benefit you and your family.

3. Think about the best path to take. When you are figuratively speaking at the top of a hill, think about the best path to take, and take a leap of faith.

You can do it.

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Victory

Soft is strong

To the Mumma of boys who have soft hearts, I see the silent tears fall, as they tell you about their day. Afraid to ask to play, as the others seem so rough. I see your heart breaking as he navigates friends that have come and gone and friends that are still to come. The softness in his heart is not the lack of brave – but far from it. The pursuit of justice in his mind, is the making of a warrior. He will one day stand tall, undeterred by the arrows that fly by day, or the shadows that creep by night, until then precious one, take heart.

Your boy is stronger than he thinks, wiser than he knows, braver than he gives himself credit for. He can run as he chooses; he seeks truth and justice, he gives with all his might. Others may not see it, others may take advantage, but one thing is for sure- the warrior within is only just getting started. Nurture him, love him, encourage him, push him safely out of his comfort zone to prove he is capable, to show him, he can – when he thinks he can’t.

To the Mumma of boys why are soft hearted, take courage for one day, when he stands like a warrior, he will remember you, he will have the words you spoke into his life, safely tucked into his heart. He will know the value of the nurturing, the value of your patience and the value of your never-ending love.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.

Desmond Tutu
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Victory

#homesofvictory

Frame your world with your words

Dr Caroline Leaf

Words are so powerful, choose to use words that will make your world a better place.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.

John Maxwell
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Victory

#homesofvictory

When you talk, you are only repeating something you know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.

Dalai Lama
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Victory

#homesofvictory

The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority.

 Ken Blanchard
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Leadership

Apple Pie and Kindness

A week ago my beautiful Nana went home to be with the Lord. It wasn’t expected but equally not unexpected. The shock has slightly worn off, the practical thoughts have kicked aside the lingering sadness for now, while the fun memories and good times have trickled through my mind like a refreshing stream. Apple pie, peanut biscuit’s, chocolate slice, the sewing, the tea cups, the roast lunches, the love of flowers the list goes on.

She was a lovely person, a kind person, never said a bad word – kind of person. She was resourceful and stoic in her strength. She faced every season with a smile. Her heart full of kindness was shared with those around her through cups of tea, her baking and her love for her family and everyone she met. My Nana always dressed immaculately but it wasn’t her clothing that made her stand out, it was her kindness and loveliness.

If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

Roald Dahl

Like my Nana, I try to focus on the good so I am like sunshine to those around me. Although she isn’t with us any more, the warmth that comes when we think of her is more than enough. It encourages me to live a life warm to those around me, to be present and aware, to be kind and unwavering, to be even and thoughtful through every season life throws at me. It saddens me to think, that it has taken this experience of losing someone precious to realize, just how important it is to be who you are – to let the sunshine and goodness in us shine into the lives of those around us.

I may not be able to bake like my Nana, but I sure can encourage those around me with kind words and thoughtfulness.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

A dream is a picture, a vision is a plan

Pastor Brian Houston

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Well done is better than well said

Benjamin Franklin

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Building community Victory

Together is the answer

Loneliness is something we often think of as – out there. We know that loneliness exists – but in truth it happens everywhere. We can’t see it and we don’t know it until we are told about it. Loneliness never looks the same for any one and never discriminates. The thing is loneliness has always existed but now in 2021 it has become a pandemic in its own right – a killer of sorts (as suicide rates are skyrocketing) a destroyer of confidence, like a broken wire in the capacity to connect. I am not trying to dwell on the negative but give a foundation to both a challenge and new perspective. A new perspective that perhaps we all need.

To put loneliness into context… Britain has a minister for loneliness, Japan has also just nominated one… loneliness is not just something that we feel alone in our homes. The world around us, is experiencing loneliness of pandemic proportions that national governments, are making it a parliamentary priority. I am not sure I can list too many other social issues (not crime related) that have this level of priority.
 
As much as I hate this, it is so clear, that loneliness is all around us – magnified by COVID and the ramifications of lockdowns, job losses, family separated by halted travel and the list continues. The perspective I want to encourage is that of looking outwards, not focusing on the negative that may be impacting us, but how we can be the answer to those around us. I frame the perspective with the words – TOGETHER is my answer to loneliness. Together meaning if we all – as individuals make a choice to change our perspective and to step just a little out of our comfort zone, the difference with can make is enormous.
 
If we ALL look out for the ones when we go through our day – the ones, who may be carrying loneliness, the ones who may be carrying isolation, grief, loss the list goes on. If we challenge ourselves to speak to someone, we’ve never met, if we show an interest in others – this challenge will be met – slowly, steadily, and positively. The more we notice the ones, the more those around us will take note and be encouraged to be part of the answer. If we all begin to notice those in our lives during the week, those that may need a word of encouragement, a listening ear, someone to acknowledge them – be mindful and take the time to just do it – take the time to chat, take the time to be kind, take the time to notice. Be the one, who makes a difference in some ones day.

You will be surprised and so encouraged by the outcome of your kindness and thoughtfulness. What will you plan to do today to perhaps -lend a listening ear, be the one to acknowledge some one, to give an encouraging word…