Tag: together

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Leadership

#homesofvictory

Everything about being a leader is like being a parent. It is about committing to the well-being of those in our care and having a willingness to make sacrifices to see their interests advanced so that they may carry our banner long after we are gone.

Simon Sinek

What kind of legacy are you building for your family?

It often brings me great joy to hear how my kids behave when I’m not around. One day, when my son was about 11 years old, I was picking him up from a friend’s house. His friend’s dad pulled me aside with a sombre look on his face and asked, “How does he know to put his dirty dishes in the sink?”

For a split second, my mind raced. I was expecting a conversation about poor behaviour and was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be quite the opposite.

My response, in hindsight, probably wasn’t all that helpful. I simply smiled and said, “We ask the kids every single night to do it.”

What I didn’t say was that we were also tired of asking every single night.

Like many parents, we’d wondered if the constant reminders were making any difference at all. Yet, when we weren’t there to prompt him, he remembered. He chose to do the right thing because it had quietly become part of who he was.

It’s a simple illustration of the legacy we are choosing to build.

Legacy is rarely created through grand gestures. More often, it is formed through ordinary moments repeated consistently over time. Every conversation, every boundary, every family meal, every reminder to be kind, honest, respectful, and responsible is laying another brick in the foundation of your children’s future.

The truth is, our children may not remember every instruction we gave them, but they will remember the culture we created. They will carry our values into classrooms, workplaces, friendships, marriages, and one day, perhaps into their own families.

So don’t grow weary in the repetition. The habits you’re reinforcing today are becoming the character your children will carry tomorrow. One day, someone else may quietly notice the fruit of your faithfulness, and you’ll realise that the small things were never small after all.

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Leadership

Leadeship trait: running interference

This might not be the first leadership trait that comes to mind, but it is often one of the first to be noticed. There are seasons when leaders need to play offence driving vision, making decisions, and creating momentum. At other times, they need to play defence protecting their people, absorbing pressure, navigating conflict, and creating the space their team needs to do their best work.

The same is true in our homes.

As parents, there are moments when we need to be unwavering advocates for our children, whether that’s partnering with their school, speaking up on their behalf, or helping them navigate difficult situations. Other times, our role is quieter. We cheer them on from the sidelines, create healthy boundaries, or simply stand between them and the pressures of the world, giving them the freedom to grow, flourish, and enjoy being children for a little longer.

None of this is easy. Parenting constantly asks us to balance protection with preparation, shelter with resilience, and guidance with growing independence.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the amount of news my teenagers consume. I want them to understand the world and become thoughtful, informed adults. At the same time, I want to preserve a little more of their childhood before the weight of the world’s problems becomes theirs to carry. It’s a delicate balance. Ironically, some of the richest and most meaningful conversations we’ve had as a family have come from the stories they’ve read. The tension is real, and there isn’t always a perfect answer.

Perhaps that’s what running interference looks like. It’s not about shielding our children from every challenge or solving every problem for them. It’s about prayerfully and intentionally discerning when to step in, when to step back, and when to create the space they need to grow safely.

Take a moment today to consider this question: How can you create the conditions for your family to flourish? Where might you need to remove a barrier, absorb a little pressure, or protect your children’s hearts and minds for this season?

There will be times when they won’t understand why you stepped in. But one day, they may look back and realise you weren’t limiting their world you were preparing them for it.

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Victory

The hotshot perspective

“If a hotshot took over your job today, what’s the first thing they would fix that you’ve been tolerating?”

Kat Cole

This powerful reflection often attributed to business leader Kat Cole and her “Hotshot Rule” is a question worth pausing on. It’s a big question but it can also be a very gentle invitation.

In the busyness of family life, it’s easy to carry on with things that “just work… well enough.” The rushed mornings. The clutter that never quite gets cleared. The conversations we mean to have but put off for another day. We tolerate small stresses because life is full and we’re doing our best.

But imagine, just for a moment, stepping back and looking at your family with fresh eyes. With compassion and clarity, not the lens of busy and chaos. What’s one small thing that could make your home feel calmer, kinder, or more connected?

Maybe it’s creating a simple routine that makes mornings less stressful.
Maybe it’s setting aside intentional time together each week.
Maybe it’s letting go of something that’s been weighing on your family whether it’s clutter, pressure, or unrealistic expectations.

The point isn’t to do everything. It’s to notice one thing.

What makes this rule so powerful is that it reminds us: change doesn’t always require a major overhaul. Often, it starts with an honest reflection and one small step forward.

Because you don’t need a “hotshot” to come in and fix things. You already have the insight and the heart to begin. ❤️

What is your one change for today?

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Victory

#homesofvictory

The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.

– Paulo Coelho, Brazilian writer

Actions speak louder than words. In families and leadership, setting a good example builds trust, teaches values, and inspires change. Leading by example creates lasting impact. Children and family members learn more from what we do than what we say. When we show patience, they learn calm. When we act with integrity, they learn honesty. Leadership in families isn’t about control, it’s about consistency, presence, and modelling the values we hope to see.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” -Thomas Jefferson

This quote is one example of a guiding truth for those leading families. Effective family leadership means adapting to changing seasons: children grow, dynamics shift, and communication styles evolve. Flexibility fosters connection and understanding.

Yet, core principles like respect, honesty, and love must remain unshaken. These values anchor the family through uncertainty and change. Leaders in families must model both adaptability and conviction, showing that while we adjust how we relate, we never compromise who we are. This balance builds trust, resilience, and a legacy of integrity across generations.

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Leadership Victory

#homesofvictory

A good leader inspires people to have confidence in the leader; a great leader inspires people to have confidence in themselves.”

Eleanor Roosevelt, former First Lady of the United States

This quote really speaks to the heart of us as parents. It’s really a simple truth: being a good leader in your home means you have the trust of your family, your kids, your loved ones. But being a great one? That’s when they start trusting themselves to make decisions, to put into practice what they’ve learnt, what they’ve experienced, what they’ve observed.

Our job as parents isn’t to have all the answers, it’s to help our kids, our family believe that they do. Lift them up, and they’ll surprise you every time.

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Victory

Undefeated = Victorious

We love it when our sporting team is undefeated. It’s such a strong word. One that sends a clear message. Momentum builds when a team keeps winning: the joy of the streak, the confidence that others are trying and still can’t break through. Undefeated carries both strength and quiet authority.

It got me thinking… are we living undefeated? Are we living in victory?

So often, we feel the need to defend ourselves, our thoughts, our opinions, our integrity, who we are at our core. Pause for a moment and ask: why?

Why do we, as humans, feel this need?

Dare I suggest ego?
Dare I say the desire to be heard?
Or perhaps the need to feel elevated, validated, or more knowledgeable?

It doesn’t take much to see this play out. Read the news. Scroll through online forums. Take discussions about something as simple as personal car use or travel choices, the list goes on. We see identity and worth tangled up in opinion. Yet our identity and perspective are not meant to be dictated by external factors.

Yes, the current global climate affects every one of us. But our response, our attitude, whether or not we live in victory, remains our choice.

To live undefeated means nothing is truly defeating us.

To live in victory doesn’t mean we never face battles. It doesn’t mean life will be perfect; it never will be. It doesn’t mean every dream will come to pass, some may not.

What it does mean is this:
Our reaction, our response, our disposition toward life can be the best it can be and that is a choice we get to make.

In a wild and noisy world, I want to encourage you to lift your eyes above it all and choose to live undefeated. Choose to live in victory. It’s not about what’s happening around us, it’s about remembering that we have a choice.

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Leadership Victory

Choosing Influence Over Overwhelm 

Recently, I was lucky enough to be in New York on a study tour, where I had the opportunity to interview some truly incredible people working in roles similar to mine.

One conversation in particular has stayed with me.

She spoke about the changes she’s witnessed in her community over time especially the visible and alarming rise in mental health concerns. Increasingly, frontline staff are encountering difficult and negative interactions linked directly to people experiencing crisis. While she remained hopeful and deeply committed to the role she and her team play in supporting community members in need, the emotional toll was unmistakable.

So, I asked her a question that many of us quietly hold: How do you lead a frontline team through incidents involving people in crisis, especially when you simply can’t fix the situation?

Her response was both honest and powerful.

She shared that when situations feel heartbreaking and gut‑wrenching, she asks her team one simple grounding question:

Is this a problem we can solve within our scope of work, something within our control or is this a broader societal issue?

She said, “I can’t give unhoused people a home. But my team and I can treat them with dignity, respect, and refer them appropriately. I can’t change the cost‑of‑living crisis. But I can continue to offer our free service with kindness, clear boundaries, and an understanding of the pressures impacting our community.”

I’ve mulled over this response many times since. At its heart, it’s about control and influence. What we can and can’t control, and where our influence truly lies.

Bringing this perspective into our homes can help us make sense of everything happening in the world around us. When something feels overwhelming, we can pause and ask: Is this something my family and I can control or influence? Or is this something we need to navigate together as part of a wider social, economic, or global challenge?

We absolutely have a say in how we teach our children to behave what we don’t control is how every other child behaves.

We absolutely have control over how we manage our household budget, even if we don’t like the external pressures of rising costs. I can’t change the cost of living, but I can change how I approach it, plan for it, and move through it.

And perhaps most importantly, we absolutely have control over our own actions, thoughts, and emotions. We can notice them before we tip into anger, frustration, or impatience. We can pause, reset, and choose differently. And when joy bubbles over, we can share it freely, because positivity, when offered generously, becomes wonderfully contagious.

What I can’t control is how others respond.
What I can do is show up with kindness, clarity, and compassion and trust that small, intentional choices still make a meaningful difference.

And sometimes, that’s more than enough.

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Victory

Strong vs Stubborn

In my life I’ve been called strong and I’ve been called stubborn. I’ve called my kids strong to their faces and stubborn behind their backs. Is one trait better than the other or do they hold their own merit?

Stubbornness is a skill and an art. A person can be thought stubborn for no reason other than they have dug their heels in. Likewise a person can be thought stubborn for not giving up and being persistent until the goal is achieved.

In leadership being stubborn tends to have negative connotations, while the trait of being strong tends to imply a positive.

How then can we have the right tension between stubborn and strong. How can we still be perceived as a strong leader without the negative pull of being stubborn.

An example of this rang true in my home one afternoon. My 10 yr old approached me and asked if she could do a $10 pocket money job. Usually at my place the going rate for a pocket money job is $1 with the max of $2 for a car wash. … I suggested she could fold the washing for $2 as I was feeling generous. She asked for $3, I said $2 and the back and forth negotiation continued for some time. I finally said, it’s my final price if you want it do it, if not don’t. I was testing her resolve as I knew she wanted money to buy books. ( Side note: she is a book worm and spends every cent she gets on books) She walked off a little upset, turned around and said in a quiet voice, “Oh well you miss out….” She thought she could one up me by implying that I now needed to do the folding… when I assumed she missed out on pocket money as the task wasn’t done. By the way the folding still didn’t get done for a few days…

Can you see it – we are both stubborn and strong. We at times go toe to toe and I rarely pull out the line – “I’m just as stubborn as you, I’ve got all day….” I figure I have that privilege for want of a better word, as I am the parent. Placing this in a work environment, I would never make this type of comment, nor would I accept this level of stubborn. I would on the other hand accept this type of strong – if it was respectful. What I would also accept and action is working with staff on their stubbornness – turning it into a positive.

In our modern day and age of busy – do we take the time to look at the stubborn and see the potential? The potential determination, the strength and the tenacity? Or do we see the perceived weakness and dismiss it? I try so hard, to not tell my children they are stubborn – I’m not perfect, but I try to use the word determined or tenacious. I try to flip the perceived negativity around the word stubborn into the perceived positive of strength, tenacity and determination. These traits you will all agree are awesome to have as an adult in the real world, but when your a child – living in a family environment – stubborness is not always the most sought after skills. Likewise, when you are a parent of a stubborn child – it is not the most desirable either.

To balance the tension between strong and stubborn it is vital to connect with the character behind the stubborn, connect with the character behind the strong and you will be delighted with what you find. Draw out the positives, direct and steer them towards determination, tenacity, never giving up attitudes and leadership. They will not let you down.

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Victory

I have not failed…


Failure is coming into its own after what seems like forever – it is no longer seen as a ‘ bad’ thing, a thing to avoid, a thing to hide from those around us. Modern day Failure – is what I like to call it, is being celebrated, is being acknowledged, spoken about, and most importantly learnt from. Some companies have even started ‘ Failure parties’ that celebrate the lessons learnt from failures along the way.

Even the very definition of failure is changing, as what may have been viewed as a failure in years gone by, is now seen as a valuable lesson learnt, or even better – used to fuel more research, more trial and error and eventually a greater outcome. 

Failure wrapped up in the positive, at the end of the day is still failure, and it can bring with it the emotions of disappointment, frustration, and even anger. Failure in its raw form, is still hard to swallow. What I love about Failure now is, that it is talked about, it is thought about it is dissected to a point where, greater understanding of the process behind the failure can occur.

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways
that won’t work.

Thomas Edison

In team situations and family situations alike, we deal with failure in all of its glorious forms. As a leader it is critical to have empathy when failure is concerned. It may be us as leaders who have failed – we then to make sure we are humble about it. It may be our team our family, our loved ones who are dealing with a perceived failure. 

Recently my daughter struggled with two perceived failures in one week. She felt so disappointed. She was dreadfully critical of herself as she tried to unpack what happened and how she felt about it all. After listening to her talk as I drove her to her ballet lesson, I turned to her and said, ” Does this change who you are? Just because someone doesn’t think at this point you have what it takes – does that change who you are?” She looked out the window – silent. My heart sunk a little, as I hoped what I said, was received with love. She finally looked at me with a smile and said, “no”.  

Sometimes failure can blind us to the reality of who we are – we are not the failure itself. Our actions etc… may have contributed to a failure, but we ourselves are not the failure. 

When it comes to our family, when it comes to teams we lead – it is easy to take it on and feel like it is our fault. Take responsibility for your actions but do so with a positive mindset. One thing an amazing supervisor once taught me was, whenever we had a perceived failure, she would never finger point or blame. She was sit back in her chair, looking very relaxed – she would say ” What can we learn from this?” She never had preconceived ideas of what we could learn, but she encouraged everyone in the working group to reflect, and to learn for next time. That’s how I want my mindset to be. The first response to failure being “What can I learn from this?”

Of course, disappointment will still come, emotions will enter the mix, but if we choose to have a positive mindset and set our minds beyond the failure, we may just keep stepping in the right direction and face great achievements and discoveries.  

You always pass failure on the way to success.

Mickey Rooney
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Victory

#homesofvictory

Many people never reach “greater” because they don’t leave “good enough” behind.

 Steven Furtick
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Victory

Unity

Where there is unity there is always victory.

Publilius Syrus

Ah… the elusive word unity. What does it mean and how does it apply to us in a family context. Going back to the definition of the word unity, it is defined as:

The state of being one ; a whole or totality as combining all its parts into one.

Dictionary.com

How often have you found yourselves in your home, at odds with one another. Over time, over money, over space, over decisions that are overwhelming, over things that happen that we have no control over. I know we’ve been there and are probably there more often than we realize.

What strikes me about unity, especially in a family context, is once you know you are all on the same side, battling the same thing, it gets a whole lot easier. If we remove battling each other before we even get to the issue, the battle is almost won.

One thing we say in our home, and we are a work in progress like everyone else is, we are on the same side. We try to take the emotion out of the battle and keep the unity as foundational to the issue. When our kids know we are on their side, when they know we are in it together, there is almost a sigh of relief as they navigate the emotion behind the issue, rather than fight against us as parents. Once we remind each other in our marriage that we are on the same side, the personal attacks that sometimes creep in, dissipate and we focus in unity on the issue at hand. Overcoming far more than we could otherwise.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is no perfection in our home when it comes to unity. But… and I emphasise this, it is the goal. It is foundational to us, that we always remember we are on the same side, the same team and in it together. In doing so, we are stronger, work smarter and are a whole lot happier.

If we aim to live in unity think of the victories that could be won…

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Victory

Ready, set, go

Every vision needs action. Without action, the vision is simply words. The hard work of defining your family vision is done – now the fun begins. Dream and think about how your family vision can be outworked over the year ahead. Here are three ways to bring your vision to life, and keep it front and centre throughout the coming year.

Build Rhythms

A vision without rhythm fades fast. Build small, consistent practices that reinforce what you value most.

Daily rhythms:

  • Pray or read Scripture together.
  • Share one thing you’re thankful for at dinner.

Weekly rhythms:

  • Hold a “Family Check-In” night.
  • Plan one fun or serving activity together.

Monthly rhythms:

  • Choose a shared goal (like hosting a friend, donating, or learning a new skill).

Consistency turns ideals into identity. When rhythms align with your vision, transformation follows.

Keep It Visible and Alive

Your vision should be more than a one-time conversation — it should live in your home.

Use creative reminders:

  • Vision Board – Add photos, quotes, and Scripture that represent your dream.
  • Family Motto – Choose a phrase that sums up your heart (e.g. “Faith First,” “Together We Rise”).
  • Memory Jar – Record moments of gratitude or answered prayer to revisit at year’s end.

These simple visuals keep your family focused and motivated.

Review and Refresh Regularly

Vision is a living document, not a finished one. Review it every few months. Ask:

  • What’s working?
  • What needs to change?
  • What’s God highlighting for this next season?

Update your statement if needed. As your children grow or your circumstances shift, your family’s expression of that vision will evolve — and that’s healthy.

A final word of encouragement

You don’t need a perfect family to have a powerful vision. You just need willingness — to pause, dream, and lead with purpose.

This year, choose clarity over confusion. Purpose over pressure. Legacy over busyness.

When your family knows who they are and where they’re going, every moment begins to matter again.

We can’t wait to hear about the ways you’ve put your family vision into action. Comment here or tell us about your vision on Facebook.

Categories
Victory

Looking inwards to grow outwards

You’ve dreamed, you’ve come up with some statements, words or phrases that represent your family. Now it’s time to dig a little deeper and really tease out what your family core values are and what they look like in action.

Identify Your Family Core Values

Your family’s values are the heartbeat of your culture. They define how you live, not just what you believe.

Choose 3–5 values that best describe your family.
Examples include:

  • Faith – We trust God and follow His Word.
  • Gratitude – We find joy in every season.
  • Service – We use our time and gifts to bless others.
  • Courage – We do hard things together.
  • Unity – We cheer for one another and stay connected.

Once chosen, describe what each value looks like in action. For instance:

“Faith means praying before decisions.”
“Unity means forgiving quickly.”

The clearer you define them, the easier they’ll be to live out daily.

Write Your Family Vision Statement

Now it’s time to capture your heart in words. A Family Vision Statement should be short, memorable, and inspiring.

It’s not a list of goals — it’s a declaration of identity.

Examples:

“We are a family who loves deeply, serves joyfully, and lives with faith and courage.”
“Our home is a place of laughter, purpose, and peace — where every person is seen and valued.”

Once written, display it somewhere visible — on your wall, fridge, or family calendar. Let it become the anthem of your home.

Keep it simple

When writing your vision for your family keep it simple. It can be easy to do one of the following,

  • Overcomplicate it — Vision should be clear, not corporate.
  • Leaving it to parents only — Include your children’s voices.
  • Treating it as a task — It’s about heart, not homework.
  • Forgetting to live it — The power is in the daily follow-through.

Your vision only works when it’s lived, not laminated.

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Leadership Victory

Create a Vision for Your Family in 2026

Every family is building something—whether they realize it or not. The question is: are you building with intention, or just reacting to whatever life brings? Decide today what tomorrow looks like.

At Homes of Victory, we believe that great families don’t happen by accident. They are shaped by a clear, shared vision — one that aligns hearts, guides decisions, and gives every family member a sense of purpose.

2026 is the perfect time to create that vision for your home — a declaration of who you are becoming, not just what you’re doing.

For the month of January we will be looking at creating a family vision, to help you set the course for the year ahead.

What Is a Family Vision?

A family vision is a statement of identity and direction. It’s the picture of what your family is called to build together.

It defines:

  • Purpose – Why your family exists.
  • Values – The principles you live by.
  • Direction – Where you’re heading together.

When you have a vision, you stop living by default and start living by design. It becomes the compass that helps you make choices, stay aligned, and lead with clarity in every season.

Dream Together

Vision starts with unity — not perfection.
Gather your family for a “Vision Night” — a time to pray, talk, and dream together.

Ask open-ended questions like:

  • What do we want our home to feel like this year?
  • How do we want to treat each other?
  • What do we want to be known for as a family?
  • What kind of legacy do we want to build?

Encourage everyone — from toddlers to teens — to share their thoughts. Write down words, phrases, and ideas that reflect who you want to become together.