Category: Victory

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Victory

Consistency is in the doing

In our last post we talked about how consistency is powerful when it came to our behaviour and choices we make as we navigate an unprecedented time of disappointments and seemingly lack of control in most areas of our life.

Another aspect to consistency is how we deal with stress and what feels like blow after blow of COVID related frustrations and disappointments. When we went through an incredibly stressful time in our lives about 4 years ago, my Dad made a comment that I’ve never forgotten. He simply said “beware the of the layers”. After that comment we talked about how stress and external pressures sometimes are a bit onion like layers upon layers.

What I am hearing more and more in this COVID season, is mental health across our nation is in sharp decline and in all honesty I am not surprised. When we start to talk to anyone around us, it seems the layers of worry, stress and anxiety comes out in both words and facial expressions.

I was listening to a pod cast yesterday where the speaker said, the 18 months to 2 years of COVID gives us what scientists call pandemic brain. The amount of decisions and stress our brains have dealt with over this time period is equivalent to 10 years – no wonder we feel tired. (Podcast: Miracle in the Mismatch)

So, how do we stay consistent in the middle of this unprecedented time?

Talk

  • Talk about what measures you can take as an individual and family to bring the stress and anxiety down. This may also be a conversation to have in the workplace also. Think about the stressors in your life, write them down – acknowledge them – then talk about how it could be changed from a stressor to neutral or even better from a stress to a source of strength and motivation. Talking is not easy – but it will get you thinking out loud, you’ll be processing it with some one else and brainstorming together.
  • Talk to someone who can help you make sense of your stress – whether it is a friend, family member or professional – just start talking – get support and the help you need. Their is no shame in dealing with stress, pressures and anxieties.
  • Talk about bringing back the fun. COVID has dampened many plans and exciting things we thought we might be able to do but can’t. At the moment I am lamenting travelling but as a family we brought back the fun and started listing places we could go based on our names. Sounds kind of not fun and a bit silly, but we enjoyed looking up places, dreaming about what some places would be like etc… It is a list we could never afford to fulfill but it gave us some fun and allowed us to dream.

Do

Now that you’ve talked about the serious stuff and everything in between – it is time to take action. Make a list of actions – plan your actions – motivate yourself to fulfil your actions. To give you an idea – as a family we talked about how we are talking to each other could be improved. Our action was to learn about left and right brain and how we flick sides in the use of our brain when we are angry for example. We learnt ways to flick back to calm ( at least calm-ish) and have been practicing that. It has reduced a layer of stress in our home. It was just one way we could remove a stress from the stress column in our minds and move it to neutral.

Keep Going

You’ve got this. None of us were prepared back in 2019 for what 2020 to now would bring – to ourselves, our families, our city, our nation and world. All of us have been touched some how, impacted some how by COVID.

Once you have talked and started to do – keep going. Keep finding ways to bring back the fun, to turn stressors into neutral. Give yourself some grace, allow your self to be sad, be tired, be hurting – but remember to pick yourself up and keep going. One step in front of the other is all it takes. Just take one step at a time. You’ve got this.

What are some ways you are trying to keep yourself even keeled? How are you working towards being consistent?

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Victory

Consistency is powerful

In what feels like a long and never ending COVID season – the impacts of change, are being felt far and wide. I’ve spoken to people this week – who are anxious about keeping up with the ever changing restrictions – wanting to do the right thing, but are unsure about the restrictions that are in place. I’ve spoken to people who are locked down to the point, where the only way the teenagers in the home have ‘fun’ is swap the room they are working in at lunch time. I’ve spoken to families who are doing it really tough and those who are making the most of lockdowns and changing restrictions.

Though we face a season of let downs, changing landscapes, a need to keep going, their is a glimmer of hope – a silver lining. We have a choice to make when it comes to our behavior and consistency. We hold control over that. We are responsible for that. We essentially hold the gaming control when it comes to who we are and how we behave.

I must admit aside from everything COVID I am not as disciplined as I would like to be or imagine I should be. The idea of doing the same thing every day – like go for a walk, sounds nice in my head in theory, but when I do it, I get bored pretty quick and try to change it up. I grew up with my Dad being so consistent, and disciplined in his routines that I wondered if he found it boring… what I did learn after observing him year after year, is the progress he made, the slow and steady pace of consistency paying off over time, time and time again. He is now – still a very fit man, enjoying early retirement ( less the travel plans), he has a wide range of hobbies and interests because over time, he was consistent in his learning – consistent in expanding his interests.

One thing I would like to challenge you with, is – what is your consistency like? I am always trying to work on being more consistent with the simple things. Like taking the time to have dinner as a family – carving out that time daily. I am trying to develop a routine that works with my new flexible hours at work. What is it that you have control over, in this time of seemingly lack of control.

Think about how you can be more consistent ? How you can harness control over the things that you can control – like consistency and behavior. While not thinking about the things you / me / us no longer have control over – like when borders will reopen, and when can I plan a holiday that won’t get cancelled by lockdowns.

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Victory

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A dream is a picture, a vision is a plan

Pastor Brian Houston

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Victory

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Well done is better than well said

Benjamin Franklin

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Victory

personal retreat

In my workplace it is strongly suggested that we have a retreat day every quarter. Time where we step out of the office and into nature to regroup, reflect and reset. This is such a foreign concept to me who pretty much doesn’t know how to have down time, as I am always doing something.

To be honest I have been researching what a personal retreat day is – so I can plan one, confidently knowing I will make the most of the retreat day. Anyone laughing at me yet? I’ve been asking my team mates -what do you even do on a retreat day? How do you make it work with your family? All of the logistical questions that I think of.

The crux of it is, is to reboot and enjoy the process. So in my planning of my retreat day – which at the moment has a schedule… includes good food, some time in nature, a time of reflecting and a time of writing. I have decided to purposely leave my computer at home and not check any work emails. I am determined to be completely switched off for a whole day. I am literally hoping I can do it.

Do you take the time to have a personal retreat day? Have you even considered doing one? In our hustle and bustle – not just in our workplaces, but families, and even our minds – I am beginning to look forward to this day of difference. Where I can step out of the normal, step into the slow and still ‘feel’ productive, while knowing I am setting time aside for me to reboot and reset.

What are somethings you do to reboot, reflect and reset?

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Victory

here we go again

I’m sitting here at 9:30am in my PJ’s – one of my kids is painting – the other two are playing Ring Fit – with the argument of it is technically exercise so it doesn’t count as screen time. My husband is sitting next to me working… I should be working – and in all honesty I have been working hard through this latest round of lockdowns… but not in my usual rhythm. For one thing, I am never in my PJ’s at this time of day, I am never normally this unmotivated nor willing to allow myself some grace and work according to my motivation levels. After four days of lockdown with three to go … I know I am blessed – we’ve been relatively lucky in terms of how many lockdowns we’ve experienced and generally they are not too long…. I am realizing my motivation to be productive is sliding lower by the day.

Usually I take the challenge of changing life rhythms and run with it, but this time, my motivation has been hit big time. The routine of life changes the instant lockdown announcements are made, the kids think its school holidays again – rather than thinking about school work from home, my mind goes into ‘how will we do this mode’ and the puppy well she is just super excited to have us all around all the time. The change and the thought of here we go again seems bigger this time – have you ever felt that? You’re not alone. The thing is, we need to give ourselves more grace – even when it’s hard to.

In our ever change landscape of life – be kind to yourself. Listen to the words you tell yourself – are they kind or critical? Check yourself – when you’re feeling it – when the down times come – what is the language you use? Flip it into a positive- allow yourself the time to do it.

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Leadership Victory

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Winning doesn’t always mean being first. Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve done before.

Bonnie Blair
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Building community Victory

Together is the answer

Loneliness is something we often think of as – out there. We know that loneliness exists – but in truth it happens everywhere. We can’t see it and we don’t know it until we are told about it. Loneliness never looks the same for any one and never discriminates. The thing is loneliness has always existed but now in 2021 it has become a pandemic in its own right – a killer of sorts (as suicide rates are skyrocketing) a destroyer of confidence, like a broken wire in the capacity to connect. I am not trying to dwell on the negative but give a foundation to both a challenge and new perspective. A new perspective that perhaps we all need.

To put loneliness into context… Britain has a minister for loneliness, Japan has also just nominated one… loneliness is not just something that we feel alone in our homes. The world around us, is experiencing loneliness of pandemic proportions that national governments, are making it a parliamentary priority. I am not sure I can list too many other social issues (not crime related) that have this level of priority.
 
As much as I hate this, it is so clear, that loneliness is all around us – magnified by COVID and the ramifications of lockdowns, job losses, family separated by halted travel and the list continues. The perspective I want to encourage is that of looking outwards, not focusing on the negative that may be impacting us, but how we can be the answer to those around us. I frame the perspective with the words – TOGETHER is my answer to loneliness. Together meaning if we all – as individuals make a choice to change our perspective and to step just a little out of our comfort zone, the difference with can make is enormous.
 
If we ALL look out for the ones when we go through our day – the ones, who may be carrying loneliness, the ones who may be carrying isolation, grief, loss the list goes on. If we challenge ourselves to speak to someone, we’ve never met, if we show an interest in others – this challenge will be met – slowly, steadily, and positively. The more we notice the ones, the more those around us will take note and be encouraged to be part of the answer. If we all begin to notice those in our lives during the week, those that may need a word of encouragement, a listening ear, someone to acknowledge them – be mindful and take the time to just do it – take the time to chat, take the time to be kind, take the time to notice. Be the one, who makes a difference in some ones day.

You will be surprised and so encouraged by the outcome of your kindness and thoughtfulness. What will you plan to do today to perhaps -lend a listening ear, be the one to acknowledge some one, to give an encouraging word…

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Victory

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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.

Steve Jobs
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Victory

Puppy Power

So we have joined the puppy bandwagon. After listening to the pleas and a 30 minute power point – yes you read correct – aimed at convincing us to say yes to a new family member – we finally caved.

Say hello to Scout. Cute to look at and puppy like in every. single. way. The interesting thing about introducing a pup into the family – is the ”not yet trained” part. The kids especially my youngest cannot understand why the pup is not sitting when asked, not shaking hands or even listening to when her name is called. All of these things and more need to be learnt. We as humans need to learn things, we begin learning the minute we are born. Our brains are so incredible. Trying to explain to the kids, how the pup is untrained, and unknowing has been an interesting process. These conversations have been met especially by our youngest with questions like “why not”, “how can I teach her” and her simply repeating herself until the pup loses interest and runs off…

How many times in our lives have we come across people ahem others, who are ‘untrained’ or not trained yet like my pup? (Rest assured she is going to puppy school!) When we come across those in our lives who don’t know what they don’t know – how do we treat them? How do we perceive them? Do we give them grace, the same way we give an untrained pup? Do we use patience and care to teach them, show them, mentor them, encourage them?

So here lies the challenge – we all have areas in our lives that we don’t know what we don’t know… How will we respond to those who show us our blind spots – the areas we need to improve ( be trained in)? Likewise how will we treat those who like us, have blind spots? The answer I dare say is with kindness, grace and a whole lot of patience.

What are your thoughts on this?

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Victory

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The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realisation that this is what the child will always need can be hard.

Sloan Wilson

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Victory

The hard question

I’ve worked in various roles that have always involved at one time or another – asking a hard question. It could be asking staff if they feel their behavior is appropriate, it could be asking a customer if how they are speaking is beneficial to the situation, it could be asking management to reconsider their decision… but when I get asked a hard question it’s a whole other level of feeling uncomfortable.

You see what I find the hardest question to answer is – what are you afraid of…How did you react to reading that? Is it a hard question for you to answer?

I used to think it was easy… snakes was always my first response. I know I’ve grown up in Australia where snakes are just a thing, to be honest I’ve only ever come across about 5 in their natural habitat. None of which were aggressive – but that fear still exists in my psyche.

Now… I feel it is such a reflective question – where at times we can bury our greatest fears in our goals and ambitions, our actions and thoughts. When I drill down past my fear of snakes – I get to a point where I fear failure – I still see it as negative… brushing past that – I fear that I won’t raise my kids well… do you see where I’m going with this??

We need to ask ourselves the hard question – not wait for someone else to challenge us – but really take time and take an honest look at what we fear? Why – so we can conquer it and look forward without fear and without any anchor dragging behind us.

As a leader it’s so important to lead your team – whether in the workplace or as a family on this journey as fear holds us all back in some form. With that said as a leader it is so valuable to be vulnerable and answer that question for yourself. Not with a 10 second answer like my snake answer – but a well thought out reflective answer. It may just change the way you lead for the better.

Ask the hard question in your home and in your sphere of influence. You may not get to hear the answer – or you may – but remember that fear is like an anchor dropped in the ocean – dragging behind you, slowing you down every time you reach up towards that goal. Don’t be held back. Name the fear – learn from it – grow from it and use it to fuel your motivation rather than hold you back.

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Victory

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That’s what I consider true generosity –you give your all and yet you feel as if it costs you nothing

Simone deBeauvoir
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Victory

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How many times have we caused ourselves pain because we failed to pause and think. ‘How would my best self view and respond to this situation?’

Brendon Burchard
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Victory

work vs deed

When have we as a society stopped doing deeds for others and thought of generosity, acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, as work?


Is it just me or do you feel our culture in general is becoming more inward focused, selfish, and unkind? Is the rush of life, the desire to be somewhere, the overbooking of calendars etc… making us weary, without a capacity to think of others?


I’ve been mulling over these two words deed and work for some time, as the meaning of both words has ‘ accomplish’ in both definitions. I would argue although the definition of work has the terms ‘ exertion’ and ‘ effort’ in the definition, at times, when we carry out a deed towards someone else ( I am referring to this in a positive sense) it also does take ‘ exertion’ and ‘effort’.


work – noun: exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something. (labor/toil)

dictionary.com

deed- noun something that is done, performed or accomplished; an act… often deeds, an act or gesture, especially as illustrative of intentions, one’s character.

dictionary.com


What are your thoughts on this? I find as a leader, we can easily set the example by doing random acts of kindness that don’t often take much effort or exertion – but make a huge difference to the day of someone else. When was the last time you send a word of encouragement? When was the last time you thanked someone at work for organizing an event or meeting? When was the last time you noticed something your kids did well or did without being asked?

Don’t see kindness as work. See kindness for what it is – intentionally making some ones day that bit better. It may not take a lot of time, it may not take too much effort but what it does is brightens the world, encourages the ripple effect of smiles and kindness in a world that truly needs more kind in it.