Tag: team

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Victory

living the dream

In the rough and tumble of life, we found ourselves talking about what our 18 year old selves wanted to do, before the reality (ahem responsibility) of life took hold. The interesting thing was, although we had all of these dreams and goals at 18, some of which we have achieved, others that are still to come to fruition, we both agreed that if we didn’t have this, we would still want it. The ‘this’ was three kids tangled together sound asleep in our bed, toys, books, shoes, scattered over the floor, a ton of clean socks hiding behind a cushion on the couch and dirty dishes waiting to be done. We joked that even in the crazy, mess of home – we are still living the dream. The dream of having a family – although it looks far different in reality, the emotional rollercoaster, the lack of sleep, chicken nuggets, visiting of public toilets, the noise, the tears, the dramas, the fun, the laughter, the push me higher on the swing squeals, all of it – is really living the dream. When the drama reaches fever pitch or dinner time turns into a calamity, we try to smile and remind ourselves we are living the dream. By doing this, we actually change the mood – to a positive one – rather than respond to the drama with more drama.

What does ‘living the dream’ look like in your home? How close is your reality to your dream?

Is it something that you need to remind yourself of more often?

What changes could you make, to make living the dream, more of a reality?

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Blue Print communication

communication plan 1

A family communication plan is not something that is black and white and formally written out and used to gauge performance. Rather, it is informal and flexible, it has ground rules and clear expectations.

Let’s look at how we are going to lay the groundwork for a family communication plan. First up, work through the next six points together. It will get you thinking about what is working and what is not. Write down your answers in your notebook, to keep a record of the beginnings of your plan.

  1. Assess together how your communication is generally going?
  2. What are some of the things that annoy you the most about your current level of communication? 
  3.  What are some ways you could improve your level of communication?
  4. Write down some changes you are going to make in your home to communicate better? Be it with each other or your kids as well.
  5. What simple tools could you use to make life hum along just that little bit better?
  6. What communication expectations do you have?

As you start to implement these improvements and expectations, document how you feel the change is working. It may take some time, to realise the extent of the improvement, but be patient. Every family member will adjust in due time.

  1. Reassess your communication plan after one month.
  2. Ask the question – what improvements have been made?
  3. What improvements are there still to make?
  4. Would you add anything to your list of expectations or improvements?

As communication is ever evolving in family life, make sure you always have clear expectations of each family member and ensure encouragement personal growth is at the forefront. You can do this!

Next we will look at the fun part: communicating during conflict.

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Victory

Tetris = next level resource allocation.

Working with resource allocation can be tricky, firstly working out the needs and wants, navigating the decision making process, communicating the final decisions and getting the team leaders on board to then be able to run with what they have.

During this season, creativity is entering into the most rigid of processes and encouraging ‘do more with less’ outcomes because of necessity. I have been pleasantly surprised by the significant changes, this season has almost forced upon workplaces and staff for that matter. Even though I have been personally impacted by reduced resourcing I am none the less impressed by the changes outworking during this season. The collaboration out of necessity, the shifting of mindsets,the ebbs and flows of decision making and project delivery methods. It is incredible to be apart of and also witness in the businesses around my city and the world.

In applying these creative methods to our home lives, it may be out of necessity due to reduced finances, or drastic changes in routine, it is interesting to note that out capacity seems to have adjusted and our mindsets have flexed also.

When allocating resources to projects and business as usual tasks I often visualise the game of Tetris. How should the resources fit to have the best outcomes. I must admit to needing some brain breaks lately to order my thoughts and have found myself playing Tetris. Somehow, while lining up the blocks, I am able to creatively work out the solution to the real life resourcing issue at hand. No longer, is it a game I played as a kid, competing to get the highest score, but now its gone to a whole new level of helping me work through resources allocation dilemmas.

What ways has this season forced you to be more creative?

Aside from the negative impacts of this season, what are some positive changes that have occurred?

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Victory

#homesofvictory

The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

Steven Furtick
Categories
Blue Print communication

communication 3

The value of free

Ever since I can remember we’ve done this in our home, I don’t even know how it started and I hope it doesn’t end. It doesn’t happen often and it doesn’t happen always but when a Love Gift is given, it often surprises and makes the recipient feel special, it communicates encouragement and love. What is a Love Gift you ask? It can be whatever we want it to be, as long as when it is given, we say “ Love Gift”. It can be the last piece of chocolate, the first pick of the roast pork crackling, it can be I love you written on the mirror, a post it note somewhere in the house. A Love Gift can be anything and for anyone in our home– it is often free – but the value of free in this case far exceeds any other monetary value. You see, it is the thought that counts, it’s the ‘ want to give’ attitude behind it. Love Gifts actually work the best, when they’re hard to give. When we’ve had a disagreement or when the kids have been playing up, it’s at those moments Love Gifts seem to have the most value.

A friend came to me the other day telling me about her relationship and where they were at.. she was so sad it had got to this point and at the same time all four of them were sick and tired and over it. I encouraged her to give a Love Gift. Her first response was why? My response was, because he won’t expect it. The simple act of kindness when all you want to do is stay in a slump, can make a giant difference to everyone in your home. She messaged me a few days later to say that Love Gifts work! Sometimes all it takes is for someone to be the bigger person and show love in the most unexpected way to make unexpected changes to the situation.

My daughter now, even writes little notes to her friends, as a Love Gift. If she notices someone upset she will come home, write and note and give it to them the next day. She said she loves to make people smile and sometimes all it takes is for someone to notice.

Whether in our homes or out in the world, the value of free – goes along way. The thought behind the Love Gift also speaks louder than words, and communicates kindness at the deepest level – something I feel our world needs more of.

Take some time this week to give a Love Gift to someone in your home. Think about who you would cheer up or show love to, outside your home – you never know what difference you will make in someone’s life.

Categories
Victory

make it interesting

I am in the throes of honing my negotiation skills using my three year old as my muse. Call her what you will, but the term three-nager springs to mind frequently. I do feel a little bit saddened by the fact that she can outwit me, even though I’ve already had two other kids to practice on. My third child seems to be overflowing with spark, wit and laughter.

One thing I have learnt, through her behaviour is the art of making something menial seem so interesting and exciting that I can get her to do what she was just saying no to, without her even realising. Her older siblings have cottoned onto my moves, and watching them negotiate with her is pure joy. Sometimes she wins, most times they do. I’ve taught them the art of distraction, and it works in the most amazing ways. She could be trying to use the computer while they are trying to use it for homework and as soon as one of them says, look a bird, she runs outside calling out “Where?”. She then spends time searching for birds, watching them, asking them if they need to poop… she is totally distracted. We have all learnt her currency and use it to our advantage.

Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them.

Paul Hawken

Likewise I have been applying the art of distraction to my family as a whole. When the grumbling over chores starts, it suddenly becomes a game and we have a family champion. When getting ready for school is a drama, we beat the buzzer and all get into the car happy and on time. By making the mundane interesting, I am able to get my team onside and working together – yes at times it is draining, and at times, I just want them to do what they are asked the first time. But – the choices we make to lead, manage and influence combine to create the family life we have.

How can you apply the art of distraction and making problems interesting to your home?


What are your key negotiation strengths?


How do you involve the children in constructive solutions?

Categories
Victory

Kid speak: yet…

My 8 year old came home the other day from school absolutely beaming. He was so excited to share with me a Ted Talk his class had watched. I took a double take when I heard Ted Talk, as growing up, all I thought about in primary school was which bike path I was going to ride on when I got home… any way, he was so excited about it, that he suggested after dinner we all watch it together.

The Ted Talk titled the mindset of a champion was by a young primary school age boy who learnt a valuable lesson – add the word ‘ yet’ – to the end of your sentences. Using it to aim higher rather than feel defeated. An example of this is, “I can’t tie my shoelaces… yet.” You get the idea. As we all snuggled in bed listening to this, I couldn’t believe how glued my kids were to this amazing speaker. As a whole family we learnt something new – in essence a simple growth mindset concept. One we could also apply it straight away. By adding ‘ yet’, to our sentences, it is beginning to change our language to be more positive – it also makes us smile when we can add it to each other’s sentences. Mind you, the kids are now saying things like, ‘We can’t go to McDonalds… yet’ with a big cheeky grin – nice try.

To sum it up, it may only take a lesson at school, or a moment of inspiration in your child, to make a change in your family. Encourage your children to share what they learn. We are thankful for this insight into our child’s day, but also grateful that we can integrate it into our everyday language. It has made us as a family more positive, and as we face challenges, we know know we can achieve it if we put our minds to it.

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Victory

Thank you Superheroes

Here in Australia it’s Fathers Day!

Thank you to all the Dads, Grandpas, Dads to be, uncles and brothers.

You are all super heroes – to your loved ones.

We honor you today for the special role you play in the lives of your family and friends! It wouldn’t be the same with out you.

To those who have loved and lost, may your hearts be reminded of the big bear hugs and the joy your Dad brought to your life- be it a little or a lot.

To our Homes of Victory Dads – you have taught us so much and so generously shared your wisdom with us. May we continue your legacy in the life of our family – showing grace and patience, bringing the fun and joy while leading and mentoring the next generation.

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communication

communication

One thing I love about applying management and leadership tools to family life is the word that keeps popping up ‘ expectation’. I feel this word sums up how the family blueprint can positively impact your family as it sets a level of expectation in many areas of life. The expectation of behaviour, expectation of good, better and best and the expectation of outcomes. Communication is key to setting expectations and navigating obstacles in life.

When writing a communication plan in a project so many elements come together to ensure all stakeholders are informed and are taken on the project journey. Elements of the plan include:

  • The purpose or goals of the communication plan
  • Information about stakeholders and their roles
  • The types of information that needed to be shared with stakeholders
  • The methods used to communicate
  • The frequency that each stakeholder would like to receive information

Breaking this down, it could read as follows for families:

  • Why we communicate
  • What we communicate
  • How we communicate and with who
  • The methods we use to communicate different sets of information
  • How often we communicate

Also other important elements of a communication plan, once again altered so it can apply to your family:

  • Creates written documentation for reference
  • Sets expectations
  • Increases transparency
  • Provides the opportunity for feedback
  • Increases productivity

When stating it creates written documentation – what I will point out is, my family doesn’t have it written down and probably never will. What we have done is talked about it a million times and neither of us will forget the Why, What and Who of our communication plan. Whether you feel your plan needs to be documented or not, remember that excellent communication is the foundation of navigating life’s obstacle course. It will determine how positive or negative the journey through an obstacle will be and how it is resolved. Communication is key.

Start thinking about and writing down the good, the bad and the ugly in your family communication?

What would you like to improve? How do you think that can happen?

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.

Stephen Covey
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Victory

Define victory will you

Here at Homes of Victory, we often encourage and talk about living with a victorious mindset in the middle of the wildest season of life: kids… The question is, how do we / you define victory. Just like the word ‘success’, having a victorious mindset can have a myriad of definitions and can even be defined differently on any given day.

Let me explain, I did a happy dance tonight because I managed to fold three baskets of washing – that is a victory! Empty washing baskets. Last night, my three year old was eating some nuts she found and sneezed at the same time – spitting crunched up nuts all over my leather chair… I raised my hands in defeat as I walked off stifling a laugh to find some cleaner. If we don’t laugh we cry right. Neither situation, when analysed, is a victory or defeat – but based on my mood and perspective they were.

That aside, I hope you are starting to see my point.

Only you and your family can define what victory looks like at any given moment.

Homes of Victory

It may be a momentous victory like beating an illness, or paying down debt or a getting that job you’ve worked so hard to get. Victory can also be in the unseen, like getting a child to sleep, learning to drive, passing an exam you were nervous about.

Defeat too can be momentous. It could look like losing a job, losing a loved one, coming second when all you wanted was to be first. It could be in the tired moments – of losing a battle with a tantruming toddler, or a moody teenager. It could simply look like another pile of washing or dinner waiting to be cooked.

Whatever victory and defeat look like to you will determine how and when you live victorious. I like to think we are fairly positive and try to see the victory, see the positive, but at times like every other human defeat creeps in.

What we are trying to say is – you need to define your own victories and own them. If my kids can define a good day by how much nintendo they play or what mountain biking adventure they’ve been on then surely we can define our victory days with similar childlike mindedness.

How will you define your victory?

How will your family measure living with victorious mindsets?

Categories
Leadership

Leadership trait: Resilience

Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.

Nelson Mandela

The road is getting tougher and tougher – yet you keep on walking. Life is getting to you, yet you keep going – finding strength you didn’t know you had. You get through it – stronger and more victorious that you expected. Hello increased resilience. Face the battle with your weapons of determination and perseverance, standing fast knowing when you succeed and you will, you will be stronger and better for it.

The human capacity for burden is like bamboo- far more flexible than you’d ever believe at first glance.

Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper 
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Victory

Ten Words

Due to changes in my workplace I’m back working in front line customer service. I must say at many times over the past few months I’ve been on the receiving end of people’s complaints, anger, frustration and stress. Being in the firing line really doesn’t bother me… but today was different.

An elderly man asked to speak to someone I charge. As I approached him and said hello, he smiled and said, these ten words:

I don’t like to complain but I love a debate.

anon customer

I couldn’t help but smile. We had the best conversation and the issue was resolved – peacefully and swiftly.

What captured my attention was not only his perspective but his behavior. I would call it honorable. He was respectful and listened to my responses. The reason I mention listened, is because I find a lot of people like to complain, but not many like to listen to the response.

This customer who by the way turned out to be 89, showed me that maybe just maybe if we all behaved in a respectful and honorable manner more issues would be resolved peacefully. There would be less stress, less anxiety around conflict resolution. There would be more kindness and understanding – more listening and less speaking.

I know I’m going to take his 10 words into my everyday and use this perspective in my home life and workplace. What a better world we would have, it we all took his advice and approached life with an open mind, ready for a debate rather than a complaint.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Some of the best advice I’ve been given: Never take critisim from people you would never go to for advice.

Morgan Freeman

What a wonderful reminder. In our world of keyboard warriors who seek nothing more than to destroy confidence, this advice is outstanding. Remember who you go to advice for and why. It’s never going to be the anonomys person on the other end of the wi-fi.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.

Simon Sinek