Tag: team

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Leadership

consistent & persistent

To be able to lead our family and especially our children there needs to be some grounding and basis for what we do. We cannot choose to do it one day and not the next. We are being watched by our children every day – on our good days and bad days and every day in between.

A few years ago we traveled with extended family to Malaysia. I remember being in a crowded food court with my two of my children and my mother in law. One child was having an epic meltdown, and really wasn’t coping with the noise, smell and crowds. I looked at her with questioning eyes, as I didn’t know what to do. She burst out laughing, saying the melt down she was witnessing was exactly how my husband would melt down 30 years ago… . She suddenly became serious and just said,

Be consistent and persistent

Rebekah

I felt like I was on the receiving end of an old Chinese proverb. It really struck a chord with me.

Her words have resounded in my ears every time, I don’t know what to do, every time my children have a meltdown, every time I want to stay in bed and pretend it’s still night time. I love these words as they are simple yet so true. Another way to put it is, just turn up. Be available for your family – I’m not saying literally be available 24/7 – balance is vital, but be consistent in your expectations and behaviour, be persistent in your responses and attitude and reap the benefits.

Even now, years after having those pearls of wisdom dropped in my heart, I do struggle at times to be persistent in discipline and consistent in my moods, but you know what, we are all a work in progress doing the best we can.

How do the words consistent and persistent resonate with you?

How could you show your family more consistency?

Is there a way you could be more persistent in certain areas of your family life?

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Victory

Remedy

Don’t find the fault, find the remedy.

Henry Ford

I love the word remedy – it makes me think of old fashioned rest and recuperation, it makes me think of jelly beans at the doctors surgery, it also conjures up images of fixing things before they get worse.

The definition of remedy is

Something that cures or relieves a disease or bodily disorder; a healing medicine, application, or treatment, something that corrects or removes an evil of any kind.

Dictionary.com

Framing ‘ remedy’ in leadership terms strips back the meaning to something that curers or relieves. It also indicates that the remedy is known and then applied. At times we do not know the remedy to apply, we may not know the potential outcomes or risks involved. What we do know is, at times the remedy needs to go against the grain of fixing and issue and looking at preventing it. An example of an evidence based preventative model is one that stands out was developed in Iceland and is now in Australia. It successfully worked on significantly reducing drug and alcohol addiction in teens. Check out the whole story here.

This type of remedy: evidence based preventative model – is a form of remedy that I have come to understand and be impressed by. So often, the issues in our communities do not have a quick fix, seem like they will never change, or feel like the stigma will never leave. This example of a remedy is inspiring and possible. It shows by thinking outside the box and being creative, solutions to the impossible are made all the more possible. 

In your sphere of influence, how would the remedy of preventative measures change outcomes when used instead of reactionary measures? On a large scale some counties have what they call a ‘ fantasy council’ where it is their brainstorming opportunity to find solutions to the somewhat impossible. 

How do you create the opportunity for brainstorming and problem solving within your work environment and home?

Do you include your children in the problem solving?

You may be surprised by their contribution – their minds don’t see the obstacles and challenges like we do.

Encourage the positive and explore the opportunities the outcome will be far better than you expect.

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Leadership

Leadership trait: Courage

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow’.

Mary Anne Radmacher

Courage is not always about gritting your teeth and digging your heels in. Courage is not always about making a song and dance about bravery. All courage need to be at times, is just turning up. Just trying again tomorrow. Just making a decision to give it another crack.

Courage means to have the:

ability to do something that frightens one; bravery and / or strength in the face of pain or grief.

Dictionary.com

Courageous leaders are the ones, who stand in the face of adversity, and keep believing in their dream, believing in their goals, believing in their team. Courageous leaders are the ones who turn up each day for their team, not knowing what the day will bring.

Courageous parents are the ones, who get out of bed every day, are the ones who do everyday with their kids however the everyday may look.  Courage is exciting, courage is brave and courage is contagious.

You may not feel courageous when your kid drags you out of bed before sunrise, you may not feel courageous when you’re cranky running late for work, you may not feel courageous when you face the washing and household tasks, but know that you have the strength in you, the bravery in you, to face your day, to face your family – no matter the circumstances.

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Leadership

Will of Steel

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.

Charlotte Bronte, Jane Eyre

I hear the strain in your voice, when you try to get your point across. I see the furrow of your brow, when the response is a blank stare. I hear your heart break, when they seem to purposely choose hurtful words, when they do the opposite of what you asked, just because they can, not because they should. I see your silent tears when they think it’s bravery but you think it’s stupidity. I hear your hearts voice saying, ‘ if only they knew’, I hear the thumping of your heart grow quicker each time they stomp down the hallway ready to tell you their opinion. I see the tiredness and I hear the exasperation, I see the walking away – so you don’t say out loud what you think.

Mumma bear, I hear the laugh in your heart, when incredible things come flowing from their mouth, the same mouth that was throwing poison darts at you only moments ago. I hear the joy, when there is no fight getting into the car, I see the silent – ‘that’s my girl’ spark in your eyes when they take matters into their own hands. I hear the kind words you speak into their hearts when the time is right, I see you snuggle in tight when the day is done. I hear you, ask without fail – how was your day – knowing the answer will be negative. I see you turn up all day, every day because she is yours.

We may never know what thoughts travel through their minds, we may indeed never know the strength of our own strong wills. What we do know is, determination is a mighty skill to have, being able to negotiate and stand your ground – is only for the brave. Being true to yourself, is rare in this world. Speak life into their hearts, and tell them they’re amazing – even when you want them to change and be compliant… we’ve all been there.

I’ve come to learn to spread the boundaries wide, give them the tools to make good decisions, based on the principles you teach them. Hold them as close as you can – they still need you, even if their behaviour says otherwise. Swallow your pride and be the one to always take the first steps to peace. Always, always, always speak life into their hearts. Use as many conversations as you can, at the right time to teach and mentor, to lead and guide them. Our babies may have more determination than their own body weight, they may have better negotiation skills, they may have more grit and more courage than we have ever witnessed, but they are ours and we get to be the only one in the world they call mum.  

So Mumma bear this is for you – I see you and I hear you. Though like Charlotte Bronte said, I am a free human being with an independent will – we need to make sure our strong willed kids are wrapped in our love almost without knowing it, wrapped in kindness and protection. They need to know we are always available and will always take the first steps to peace. Likewise, recharge yourself, take time out to take a deep breath. Think of all the billions of people in the world, who is it that you get to call daughter or son. Isn’t it an amazing thought.

Dream of who they will be one day… the achievements their strong will, will allow them to achieve. The challenges they will stroll through, the innovation they will delight in creating. The list of amazing possibilities goes on.

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Leadership

Blind Spot

A Blind Spot is the difference between intent and impact as a leader, parent,  family member. We all have them. Some are more aware that they exist than others.  

Being open to knowing what our potential blind spots are – will lead to a fuller, richer and more diverse life.

Being closed to our blind spots is like a bulldozer without direction – the impact will the their – it certainly will be there…. but what trail of offense are you leaving behind? When intent and impact are combined, that’s when true positive change occurs.  That’s when new roads are formed. That’s when eyes and hearts are opened to change and a fuller, richer life for everyone in your world.

Take a moment to think about things you may not know about yourself. How others perceive you – due to your behaviour. Do they perceive correctly, or is your well intentioned behaviour having a different kind of impact.

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Leadership

adjust the sails

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.

William Arthur Ward

How many times in your everyday have you had to adjust the sails? I find myself constantly juggling the pessimistic and optimistic thoughts in my mind, then finally realising I just need to adjust the sails. I’m a work in progress… aren’t we all.

In the workplace, I feel that I lead with confidence and humility… at home, I feel like my brain falls out of my body somewhere between work and home and I just have a totally different leadership style. By applying this leadership principle of adjusting the sails, to our families it would help us all navigate life just that little bit better. If I stopped complaining about who didn’t do what, and focus on going forward, dealing with it, with a smile, I am sure my home would feel like a different place, I would feel like a different person. Hands up, who has to ask their kids more than once to put shoes on or pack homework, or even pick up a dirty tissue off the floor. Hands up who complains? Hands up who adjusts the sails? It is easier to complain than adjust the sails, but how much better would it be if we were more conscious of adjusting the sails rather than complaining or hoping for change without action.

The way we lead in our home is so important. The best way to lead, is by example.  Your children will do what they see and hear. I know for myself when my kids say something the way I say it, I know they have picked it up from me – their leader. I try not to complain and I try to adjust the sails, and no one is asking me or you to be perfect, but I think it is also a gentle reminder to lead by example and take that responsibility seriously. We tell our children all the time, there is always a solution, we just need to find it.

There is always a solution, we just need to find it.

Homes of Victory

Now, after months of saying this to them, they say it to themselves and each other. It makes me smile, as they copy us, they are building resilience with and without us and are being positive about the situation they are finding difficult. We hope we can always speak into their lives and have them copy the good , quotable things we say and not the things we say out of pessimism. By the way, we will always be adjusting the sails in life and in our families, but that also means; we are a work in progress getting better and better.

How do your words lead in your home? How do you lead by example? Think about how you can adjust the sails more in your home.

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Leadership

a juggle or awesome logistics?

One thing that makes me a little cross are the words…how do you juggle work and kids – as a matter of fact any questioning along these lines… really makes me wonder why do ‘people’ think it’s a juggle. It always seems to be in a negative context with a sigh involved. I don’t know about you but I hear the word juggle and think of the circus, I think of a ball trick that is perfected over time to a point where the juggler may not even need to think about how to juggle, they just do. 

The meaning of juggle is: to continuously toss into the air and catch (a number of objects) so as to keep at least one in the air while handling the others. 

When I add myself to this scene – as the juggler – I start to chuckle. Usually I pick up any ball game easily but when it comes to juggling, no matter how many times I’ve literally tried to learn, I simply cannot conquer it. Now add children, career, family, friends etc.. into the equation and if each of these represented a ball I needed to juggle, they would all end up dropped one after the other. With all of that said, I believe I do a damn fine job of making sure my kids are loved beyond measure, where they need to be even if it’s at two places at once, friends are cared for, family is a priority and my career is given enough focus… I call it awesome logistics. Any mumma bear will tell you on any given day how many quick decisions with the potential ripple effects considered are made. 

So no I don’t agree that it’s a juggle, I chose to have kids. I chose to pursue my career and I choose everyday to make it work for everyone in my home. I may not be perfect, life may not be perfect but I give it a good crack. I also know that if I ever wanted a job in logistics I’d have some great experiences to share and skills to draw on. 

What are your thoughts on this? Does the term juggle come across as a positive or negative to you? 

In all the hustle and bustle of life do you feel like you juggle, or have awesome logistics skills? 

Take some time to ponder this. Write down the positive experiences you’ve had, making life work for your family.  We hope this makes you realise how amazing you are! 

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Leadership

Shaping leaders: Shimon Peres

I am a self-confessed people watcher. To the point when I’m out for dinner or with friends I like to sit where I can see the most action. I have been known to stop sentences abruptly, while watching someone walk past, fascinated by them. I have even been caught by my husband not paying attention to a conversation, as I am too busy wondering about the life of the person running past. To that end, I love history and learning from historical figures and making observations about the learnings or not of the past.

At times, I feel as a society we are not the best at learning and implementing positive change, from the learnings of the past, but alas we should try to.

Lately I have been engrossed in the autobiography of Shimon Peres, No room for small dreams,. He is a historical leader and important figure in the creation of Israel as the state we now know to be. While I purposely do not take political sides as I do not know enough to do so, for me it is fascinating to read about how his life was shaped and how that in turn it shaped his leadership style. I have pulled out many sections of this book and have learnt so much from such an experienced leader. Here is what I have learnt so far…

  • Trust is a key to leading. (and people are like sheep…. Just saying…)

I was assigned a job that was my first true experience as a leader – not of men but sheep. Yet there were striking similarities: a shepherd for example may have authority over his flock, but that alone does not mean he can control it. … we had to find a common language, a common understanding… I had to know their fears as if they were my own, so I could understand where they could not be led- or at least when I’d have to move with more deliberateness. I had to be both empathetic and insistent in stating my intentions – a figure they would follow, even reluctantly, if only out of trust.

Shimon Peres
  • The value robust discussions.

When he ( referring to another leader at the time) had been most frustrated, most intent on walking away, he remained open to the argument made by two young men, with a mere fraction of experience and wisdom. He had nearly given up on the larger debate, but he had not given up on his belief in debate.

Shimon Peres
  • Listening breaks down barriers.

Listening is not just a key element of good leadership, it is the key, the means to unlock doors that have been slammed shut by bitter dispute and resignation.

Shimon Peres
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Victory

#homesofvictory

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes.

Mahatma Gandhi

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Leadership

Why


I have a love-hate relationship with the word Why. That stage in the life of a toddler when all they do is ask why. It makes me smile at their curiosity and the wonder. At the moment in my house, our youngest is asking, ‘Does a shark have a heart?’… ‘Why?’… ‘Does a Lion have a heart?’… ‘Why?’… On it goes… I do try to explain why, but the logic and reasoning hasn’t sunk in yet. I love the curiosity.


In taking the question of why from a toddlers perspective, into the world of an adult, it can be used as a great problem solving tool. The 5 whys technique was created in the 1930’s by Sakichi Toyoda, a Japanese industrialist, inventor, and founder of Toyota Industries. Asking why as a problem solving technique became popular globally in the 1970s, and Toyota still uses it to solve problems today.

In a nut shell, you simply ask why five times. At the end of the five whys you will likely find a solution or the root cause of an issue that can then be addressed. This technique can be used to solve a known problem, an unexpected issue arising or simply a way to figure out how to do something better. So how does it work. Here are some examples:

For example:
I want to run my own business
Why: I want to be in control of my time
Why: I can have more flexibility during the work day
Why: I can work from home if I want to
Why: I can be available for my children
Why: So I can continue to provide but also have time with my children.
The last answer here becomes the root cause of motivation.

Another example:
We were running late for school and work again
Why: We slept in
Why: The alarm didn’t go off
Why: Mum forgot to set it
Why: Mum fell asleep in Miss 3’s bed
Why: Miss 3 wouldn’t go to sleep
This then becomes the root cause of the issue. Using the identified issue we can then look at ways to prevent this. Options may include – set a recurring alarm. Set different bedtime rules or routines etc..

By identifying the root cause of the problem, or the root .cause of your motivation whether positive or not, it becomes easier to identify and work around. This tool may be useful for you as a family. I use it to get to the bottom of the latest round of arguments. I use it to get to the point when my kids can’t find the words to say, it encourages them to focus and think about one thing at a time. You or the kids may not get the answers they hoped for, but the real motivations and emotions get discovered during this process. At times when I keep asking why, my kids get really frustrated. I encourage them to take their time, sometimes they come back to me hours later.. it’s giving them time and space to answer the simple question of why. I love using this tool at home and in the workplace, mostly because it uses one word, and secondly because it cuts through the layers and gets to the point – almost always.


Why not try it!

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Leadership

look for the good

I love Audrey Hepburn. When I get asked, if you could invite anyone over for dinner dead or alive, she is always at the top of my list. Her life intrigues me, her beauty inside and out is incredible, for me she is inspiring. I also love this quote of hers. It’s not only inspiring but challenging.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

Audrey Hepburn

I am challenged, to make sure I have beautiful eyes, to have beautiful lips and to walk with poise. It challenges me, when my child stops to look at an ant on the footpath – do I see how late we are, or do I see the wonder in their eyes? Do I respond to my emotionally charged tween with kindness when all she is doing is spitting out words filled with misguided anger? Do I see the good in people I pass in the street?  Do I see the good in those I interact with at work? Those who pack my groceries? Those who forget to smile when the serve me because they’ve had a bad day.

The challenge for our day and every day is to lead by example and see the good in others and speak words of kindness. The kindness we speak may be the only kindness that person has had all day, week or month.

Once, when I was serving a boy who was around 12 years old at a public library, I helped him with what he wanted and he said thanks. I responded with “no worries sweetheart”. He froze and looked at me. I realised what I said and thought it may have come across inappropriately. All he could say was, “ No one has ever called me that before”. He walked away wiping his eyes. So many emotions pulsed through me in that moment, but I realised that my eyes saw the good in him and words of kindness are powerful. Likewise, when we choose kindness, we don’t go about finding fault in those around us, like so many do in our world. It becomes a habit to point out the positives and build up those around us. Oh! there is so much potential in our world, if all we did was say kind thoughtful words, rather than the first thing that pops into our heads.

How many people do you come across in a day, who may be lonely, sad, hurt, bitter… the list could go on. What kind words could you drop into their life? Will you make an effort to see the good in them, it won’t take much? There is always something good inside of everyone – at times we may just need to look harder to find it.

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Victory

Being Planted

In life we often celebrate the start, a birth, a business launch, a wedding – the start of something. In time we also celebrate an ending – a graduation, a promotion, a pay rise, final test results, a funeral. Just thought I’d ask, when do we celebrate the hard yakka that going on in between the start and the end?

The end though, is often the result of staying, of working through the challenge, of knuckling down and doing the long hours and hard work. The end is often determined by the ‘ being planted’ in the situation and sticking it out. Are we simply too busy or too occupied with ‘staying’ or ‘being planted’ that we forget to celebrate?

My father- in -law will often crack open a bottle of wine on a Friday night, saying, ” It’s Friday!”. No other reason, other than it’s Friday and in his mind, every week is a great week no matter what has happened or not. Lessons can be learnt from this. The positive thinking, celebrating the small things the list could go on.

What I am trying to say is, if you are in the middle of the ‘ being planted’ , or the ‘ staying’, the digging your heels in because you need to type moment, no matter how good or bad it is, remember to celebrate the good, celebrate your capacity to ride it out and work hard. Celebrate that this is only the middle and not the end. The end will come and a real celebration will happen, but don’t forget the now, don’t forget to see the good in the now. At times it feels like the good is hard to find, but it is there. Use this moment to remain firm in your challenge, to remain committed to seeing the challenge through.

Another way to look at it is, to value the courage it takes to do what you’re doing. You’ve celebrated the launch of a new business, and now it’s crunch time, the workload is increasing or you’re finding a way to increase the workload – celebrate it. Celebrate the courage you are using. Celebrate being brave when you’re not sure of the outcome. Value it. Hold it and use it to spur you on. Their is value in being planted, in staying in the hard times and good times.

On a personal level, project work suits me just fine, as I get bored and move on fairly quickly. In the season of now, in the season of lockdowns and the change of normal, I am learning the value of being planted. The value of seeing a challenge through. I am learning to like it, can’t say I love it, but I’m learning to value my courage and my staying power. I am learning that it is a good thing. (Even though I don’t really have a choice).

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Victory

The value of rest

At the best of times, I am not good at stopping to rest. I am always thinking, planning, or doing. My other half is great at resting. On the weekend I may find him asleep on our outdoor couch, sitting on the deck, admiring nature etc.… I’m the one that bustles over and starts a conversation with “ What do you think about…” He often answers with comments like, are you resting, have you stopped today… can you turn your brain off for 5 minutes. It’s not that I don’t value rest, I just don’t priorities it, until it’s too late and I sleep for a whole day to catch up.

During the recent lockdown and changes to normal, I believe I have started to learn the value of rest. I was stood down from work for seven weeks – which I chose to see as a blessing in disguise, as it is the leave I never take. Although the first thing I did write a list of all the house jobs I wanted to do that never had time to do. With that said, I did focus on my kids and their schoolwork, we developed a closer relationship, we worked together as a team and did get all the house jobs done together. We had no routine, nowhere to be, almost nothing to think about, because there was nowhere to go and no commitments.

I truly have valued this time of together and slowing down. A time to choose what we did at home when we wanted to. Yes, we watched a lot of TV and played far too much Nintendo, we argued over neat writing in schoolbooks and how to show the process for the maths questions. We stayed up late and went to bed early if we felt like it. It was a true unwind and change from the busy of life. I even got to the point where, I didn’t know what day it was, and we missed several zoom ballet classes because of it. Although, I was annoyed at myself for forgetting, but realized that it was a good thing as I had truly stopped and rested.

Now we have returned to normal. I need to learn how to continue to value rest, find it in the busy and take it easier – and go easier on myself. Allow myself to rest.

 Through this time, have you learnt to rest, how to value it or use it to recharge? We would love to know what you think. 

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Leadership

Weed Free Garden

I love to garden. I love being outside, I love being in the sun, I love dirt and I love plants. Everything about it makes me happy. In another life, I wouldn’t be a cat lady, I would be a crazy plant lady – with a home full of plants. For now I am happy with my deck covered in pots and my garden overflowing with natives.

One thing I have learnt from cultivating the same garden for about ten years, is if you don’t pull out the weeds from the roots they come back – often multiplying. When we first moved into the house we live in now, the yard was barren, the garden beds that spread around the perimeter of the garden, contained unkept palms, green looking plants that were more than likely weeds, a lot of clay like dirt and weeds. As time went on, we slowly improved the soil, eventually chopped down the bat attracting palms, planted and planted and planted. While the plants were little the weeds tried to strangle them, out grow them and take the new nutrients we had added to the soil.

Now our garden brings delight to us and our kids. The natives attract birds and bees. They flower and provide shade for the yard. We love being outside and enjoying the garden that has grown out of sheer hard work and tending to it, season after season.

Applying this same type of effort and tending to, to our own lives, is at times harder and more complex. I find it way easier to pull weeds out of my garden, then out of my heart. In our home, we try to be self aware and look for ways to be better – not just for those around us, but for ourselves. It does start, by looking for the weeds, and pulling them out by the root. Not always easy, not always fun – but worth it.

In the back corner of our garden, we have a spot that still needs plants in it, the weeds grow freely and I actually refuse to pull them out. My husband often says, ‘ when you have time, pull out those weeds’… I refuse and say, ‘when I have something to replace them with I will, or they’ll grow back.’ He concedes its a fair point. In our own lives, make sure when you find a weed in your heart – something that holds you back, something that is unwanted – make sure you not only pull it out by the roots, but replace it with something worthy – something that brings joy and peace. Something that will multiply in a positive way.

A leadership trait that is so important is being self aware. It is hard to follow a leader when you see glaring issues, that you feel they do not address. I’ve worked for some leaders like this. I had one manager who when she was stressed would yell. Yell as in, you could hear her through a closed door. One time, she called me into her office, closed the door and proceeded to yell at me. The issue at hand, was in my mind minor and not worth yelling about or even being stressed about. I ended up saying, when you calm down we can talk about this as I walked out of the office, closing the door behind me. This to me, is a trait where, she needed to be more self aware and work on the issue at hand.

Spend some time thinking about what is in your life that is a ‘weed’? Is it an addiction, a habit, something that is not productive or positive for your family?

What could you replace it with?

Think about some steps you could take to remove the ‘weeds’ from your heart? This isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it.

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Victory

Do we need to be grown for success?

As I write this, I have been turning over these thoughts in my mind. Long term success, success that has deep foundations and substance, is often determined by our response to events that have occurred. Life changing events, determined learning and application, growth through challenges.

Often we see the ‘ overnight’ success stories, of people often young adults leaping onto center stage, with seemingly little life experience, but none the less successful in their chosen field.

At times, we also see is the success stories of people, who are far older than we expect, taking a risk beyond what we would ever be prepared to do, just to see if it works.

Success comes in a range of ways, and is completely biased towards those who are determined and never give up. Rarely do we as outsiders see the development over thousands of hours of hard work and the growth that takes place behind closed doors.

This is where my question comes into play- to be really successful – more than just having 5 minutes of fame, do we need to be developed behind closed doors in order to be successful ? What happens if our development happens in front of the world? Are we praised or seen to be epic failures? Or is the only thing that matters our response to our success or perceived failure?

Tell us what you think… we would love to hear from you.