Tag: perspective

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Blue Print

blueprint strategy 3

Action plan

By now, you should have five or more goals written down, that you are both or all happy about and agreed upon. How do you feel? Excited? Daunted?

For those of you who are not planners, and setting goals seems so foreign, please do not feel that this is not for you. It is, as much as it is for a planner. The action plan that you will create, can be as detailed as you like, it can be at the forefront of all family decisions or not. It can be what you want it to be for your family situation. For us, we are half- half planners. We love to have goals ticking over in the background, while we get on with it and have fun along the way. At times we get really distracted and need to remind ourselves of the goals we set and why, but day to day, we are not dictated by our goals. We know what they are and how much of them we have achieved, but we still like to have an element of flexibility and improvisation.

To put everything in perspective, a strategic plan (which we call the family blueprint) gives you a place to record your vision, purpose and values (which is your family values statement), as well as your long-term goals (the goals you’ve written) and the action plans you’ll use to reach them (what we will now do).

As overwhelming as an action plan can sound, you will get your groove on, once you get started. We found the easiest thing to do, was ask a set of questions, write down our answers and then tweak it as we go along.  We’ve added in the questions we asked to form our family action plan. For this we didn’t include our children, but if they have been involved in the process of developing goals or even your family values statement, it may be good to include them in some if not all of the action plan creation.

Activity: Answer the following questions according to each individual goal set.

  1. What: (The goal – as per family values list)
  2. When: (Time frame)
  3. Why: (motivations and how does it link to your family values statement)
  4. Actions required: Include when you plan to complete each task
  5. Measure of success: What criteria will be used, how will failure be dealt with
  6. Link to family budget: Estimated cost and savings plan

Creating an action plan will take time. Work through each goal at your own pace, work together to come up with an action plan for each one.

Once you’ve completed your action plan, take some time to let the goals and outcomes sink in.

Ask, is the plan as a whole realistic for your family?

What adjustments could I make, to ensure every goal is achieved?

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Blue Print

blueprint strategy

part three of creating a family blueprint

Congratulations you’ve made it through the foundation building stages. Now for the real fun – the strategy and action plan, the part that makes the foundation essentially a reality.

The outcome for this set of activities is to creation a family mission statement with a set of outcomes, with identified measurable actions. Easy… ???

Home of Victory will step you through this, to create the final pieces of your family blueprint.

Strategy part one: Family Values Statement = Vision Statement

A mission statement is generally 1 – 2 sentences that sums up: what you do and who you do it for.

Activity: Take your final set of family values from blueprint foundations 1 – and start forming sentences around those words. This will take time to perfect, but it will happen. Let it sit for a period of time and make changes as you see fit.

When you have both finalised the family values statement, share it with your children if they are an appropriate age… ours were more than willing to ask questions and agree. Their involvement will encourage you all as a family to work towards a common goal and use this statement as a foundation for future decisions.

If you feel comfortable please share your family values statements – you never know what encouragement you can provide others.

Here is our family values statement. We started with the words, We see… As we are speaking into the future of what our family will become, as we are certainly not there yet.

We see a family that seeks to draw out the best from each other and in our community giving all the glory to God. We see a family that understands our imperfections and are willing to work through them together. We see a family that travels the world, learning and sharing with people from all over the planet. We see a family that impacts local and global communities to experience true joy, peace and health.

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Blue Print communication

communication plan 1

A family communication plan is not something that is black and white and formally written out and used to gauge performance. Rather, it is informal and flexible, it has ground rules and clear expectations.

Let’s look at how we are going to lay the groundwork for a family communication plan. First up, work through the next six points together. It will get you thinking about what is working and what is not. Write down your answers in your notebook, to keep a record of the beginnings of your plan.

  1. Assess together how your communication is generally going?
  2. What are some of the things that annoy you the most about your current level of communication? 
  3.  What are some ways you could improve your level of communication?
  4. Write down some changes you are going to make in your home to communicate better? Be it with each other or your kids as well.
  5. What simple tools could you use to make life hum along just that little bit better?
  6. What communication expectations do you have?

As you start to implement these improvements and expectations, document how you feel the change is working. It may take some time, to realise the extent of the improvement, but be patient. Every family member will adjust in due time.

  1. Reassess your communication plan after one month.
  2. Ask the question – what improvements have been made?
  3. What improvements are there still to make?
  4. Would you add anything to your list of expectations or improvements?

As communication is ever evolving in family life, make sure you always have clear expectations of each family member and ensure encouragement personal growth is at the forefront. You can do this!

Next we will look at the fun part: communicating during conflict.

Categories
Victory

Tetris = next level resource allocation.

Working with resource allocation can be tricky, firstly working out the needs and wants, navigating the decision making process, communicating the final decisions and getting the team leaders on board to then be able to run with what they have.

During this season, creativity is entering into the most rigid of processes and encouraging ‘do more with less’ outcomes because of necessity. I have been pleasantly surprised by the significant changes, this season has almost forced upon workplaces and staff for that matter. Even though I have been personally impacted by reduced resourcing I am none the less impressed by the changes outworking during this season. The collaboration out of necessity, the shifting of mindsets,the ebbs and flows of decision making and project delivery methods. It is incredible to be apart of and also witness in the businesses around my city and the world.

In applying these creative methods to our home lives, it may be out of necessity due to reduced finances, or drastic changes in routine, it is interesting to note that out capacity seems to have adjusted and our mindsets have flexed also.

When allocating resources to projects and business as usual tasks I often visualise the game of Tetris. How should the resources fit to have the best outcomes. I must admit to needing some brain breaks lately to order my thoughts and have found myself playing Tetris. Somehow, while lining up the blocks, I am able to creatively work out the solution to the real life resourcing issue at hand. No longer, is it a game I played as a kid, competing to get the highest score, but now its gone to a whole new level of helping me work through resources allocation dilemmas.

What ways has this season forced you to be more creative?

Aside from the negative impacts of this season, what are some positive changes that have occurred?

Categories
Victory

make it interesting

I am in the throes of honing my negotiation skills using my three year old as my muse. Call her what you will, but the term three-nager springs to mind frequently. I do feel a little bit saddened by the fact that she can outwit me, even though I’ve already had two other kids to practice on. My third child seems to be overflowing with spark, wit and laughter.

One thing I have learnt, through her behaviour is the art of making something menial seem so interesting and exciting that I can get her to do what she was just saying no to, without her even realising. Her older siblings have cottoned onto my moves, and watching them negotiate with her is pure joy. Sometimes she wins, most times they do. I’ve taught them the art of distraction, and it works in the most amazing ways. She could be trying to use the computer while they are trying to use it for homework and as soon as one of them says, look a bird, she runs outside calling out “Where?”. She then spends time searching for birds, watching them, asking them if they need to poop… she is totally distracted. We have all learnt her currency and use it to our advantage.

Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them.

Paul Hawken

Likewise I have been applying the art of distraction to my family as a whole. When the grumbling over chores starts, it suddenly becomes a game and we have a family champion. When getting ready for school is a drama, we beat the buzzer and all get into the car happy and on time. By making the mundane interesting, I am able to get my team onside and working together – yes at times it is draining, and at times, I just want them to do what they are asked the first time. But – the choices we make to lead, manage and influence combine to create the family life we have.

How can you apply the art of distraction and making problems interesting to your home?


What are your key negotiation strengths?


How do you involve the children in constructive solutions?

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Victory

Thank you Superheroes

Here in Australia it’s Fathers Day!

Thank you to all the Dads, Grandpas, Dads to be, uncles and brothers.

You are all super heroes – to your loved ones.

We honor you today for the special role you play in the lives of your family and friends! It wouldn’t be the same with out you.

To those who have loved and lost, may your hearts be reminded of the big bear hugs and the joy your Dad brought to your life- be it a little or a lot.

To our Homes of Victory Dads – you have taught us so much and so generously shared your wisdom with us. May we continue your legacy in the life of our family – showing grace and patience, bringing the fun and joy while leading and mentoring the next generation.

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Victory

All – rounder…

I was flicking through a book titled 50 leaders who changed history, by Charles Philips and came across the list of what the author identified as leadership qualities. Some of which I have not really considered prior, as I have only worked in the social science field. I am used to traits such as open mindedness, collaborative and leading by example – these are the softer (yet strong qualities) that do get things done. Adding to the list of leadership traits listed include being disruptors, combative and defiant type leaders. After reading through the short bios of each leader, it became clearer to me that their type of leadership whether with the hindsight of history, whether they were right or wrong, on most occasions their leadership style befitted the change in history they contributed to.

Mother Teresa for example – was a ‘lead by example’ leader, Margaret Thatcher was considered a ‘combative’ leader. Pablo Picasso was mentioned for his ‘innovative’ leadership style – he was credited with challenging the limits of art and bringing art into mainstream culture. This book is a fascinating read of leaders throughout the generations.

Reading about the various types of leaders and the particular style they were known for, I was challenged about my own leadership style, both in the workplace and at home. You see, we may know what type of leader we are in our own situation, but do we have in us, some of the opposite qualities to enable us to truly lead in all situations?

With that said, I am more aware of making sure the leader, I have worked hard to be, is not done growing yet. I need the capacity to be a disruptor – at the right time. I also need to learn more combative traits – to pull out at the right time. What about you?

When was the last time, you were challenged to adapt your leadership style? Did you have the tools at hand?

Take some time to give some thought to how you can become more well-rounded. There is nothing like being prepared for all situations…

Categories
Victory

Ten Words

Due to changes in my workplace I’m back working in front line customer service. I must say at many times over the past few months I’ve been on the receiving end of people’s complaints, anger, frustration and stress. Being in the firing line really doesn’t bother me… but today was different.

An elderly man asked to speak to someone I charge. As I approached him and said hello, he smiled and said, these ten words:

I don’t like to complain but I love a debate.

anon customer

I couldn’t help but smile. We had the best conversation and the issue was resolved – peacefully and swiftly.

What captured my attention was not only his perspective but his behavior. I would call it honorable. He was respectful and listened to my responses. The reason I mention listened, is because I find a lot of people like to complain, but not many like to listen to the response.

This customer who by the way turned out to be 89, showed me that maybe just maybe if we all behaved in a respectful and honorable manner more issues would be resolved peacefully. There would be less stress, less anxiety around conflict resolution. There would be more kindness and understanding – more listening and less speaking.

I know I’m going to take his 10 words into my everyday and use this perspective in my home life and workplace. What a better world we would have, it we all took his advice and approached life with an open mind, ready for a debate rather than a complaint.

Categories
Blue Print

time summary

Getting a grip on time management in family life can be challenging. I often hear parents say, “how to I make time when I have none – I can’t even shower alone”, “how can I work on my relationship when we are like ships in the night”. Here are some final thoughts on time – in family life.

Be intentional

Block out time in your calendar for family time. Nothing can override that time and it needs to be a priority.

Also, block out time for each other. Even if it’s one hour a week – to just stop and chat, play a game, discuss a book, learn about each other. This is not a time to watch TV or look at a screen, but time to really invest into your relationship.

One on one time

This may be at home or out and about – but make sure every family member gets a chance to feel special, feel listened to and feel encouraged. It could be a matter of taking a child with you to get petrol, it could be taking one of them to do groceries, it could be a parent / child date night – whatever it is, there is great value in one on one time – even if it’s squeezed into the busy of life.

One change

What is one thing that can be changed to make a big difference? Is it a matter of adjusting work hours, could it be changing a child’s music lesson to another day, is it deciding that take out is in order on a particular night of the week, so everyone gets to bed on time?

However you make time management work for your family, take heart you are doing the best you can. Be encouraged that the investment you make now in your family, will never return to you void.

Do not fool yourself into thinking it’s about the amount of time, or how you managed it, it will be about the quality time you carved out in the busy that will make all the difference.   

Homes of victory

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Beware of destination addiction. The idea that happiness is the next place, the next job or even with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it’ll never be where you are.

Robert Holden
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Victory

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If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.

Simon Sinek

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Blue Print

measuring success 3

I’ve worked in several workplaces, experienced and facilitated a range of performance appraisals. Apologies, I can hear you sighing already – but stay with me. At one workplace, I copied and pasted my answers to each appraisal question for seven years and no one noticed. In my current workplace, performance appraisals are taken seriously and actually contribute to motivating and encouraging staff. Performance appraisals often use stagnant criteria to measure success without taking into account the person, but rather just their output. I love conducting performance reviews as it allows me to connect with my team members, encourage them on a personal level and get to know their personal and corporate goals.

In your family, how do you measure your success? What kind of appraisal do you give your self? What motivates you? In all honesty, for several years our goals slipped by the way side and if we could bath, feed and get our kids to sleep we were winners. All too often though, we would flop into bed and ask each other if we felt defeated. Not a nice feeling.

One thing that we have started to do, is not only set goals that have easy to use success measures, but have found a way for our kids to appraise our performance as parents without them knowing. We’ve taught them to write cards to us every Christmas, birthday, Mothers and Fathers day. They need to tell us three things they like and why. At times the words out of the mouth of babes, have been a source of encouragement and joy. Its easy to be negative and think about what you could have done better but sometimes you need a little wisdom from the younger generation. Once my daughter wrote at the ending of her card that I was the best cook in the world. Hilarious, my cooking is mediocre at best – but not to her. If she sees the best in me, then maybe I should try to do the same. One time our boy wrote that his favourite time with Dad was at home. Nothing spectacular but it shows how he enjoys the every day. Another note we got was about how funny Dad’s, Dad jokes are. It showed us in the silly and the busy that we are doing okay. Our kids notice the little things and so should we.

Navigating success or the feeling of it where kids are kids, life is busy and no end seems to be in sight, it often feels like an ongoing negotiation where we just need to find a solution. I recently learnt that the reward for navigating one challenge is the next challenge. It doesn’t sound too inspiring does it, but in reality it is. The season of kids when working though what family life looks like with additional people in it, is often hard to measure let alone be seen as a success. I encourage you that as a family, learn from each challenge – look for the small wins.” I folded some washing today”, ” I was thanked for lunch today”. Once you start speaking the good, you’ll think of more good. See the good and it will flow into your feeling of success. This in turn will encourage you to keep on keeping on and setting goals and living the life you want.

Think about how your kids encourage you? What things do they say or do that really gives you an idea of how they see you?

List some things that you have learnt due to facing some challenges in the season of children.

Encourage one another as a family to talk about the good things that have come from the challenges you have faced. See the joy of overcoming challenges.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Freedom starts with honesty.

Judah Smith, author Jesus Is____________________: Find a New Way to Be Human
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Victory

#homesofvictory

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes.

Mahatma Gandhi

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Leadership

look for the good

I love Audrey Hepburn. When I get asked, if you could invite anyone over for dinner dead or alive, she is always at the top of my list. Her life intrigues me, her beauty inside and out is incredible, for me she is inspiring. I also love this quote of hers. It’s not only inspiring but challenging.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

Audrey Hepburn

I am challenged, to make sure I have beautiful eyes, to have beautiful lips and to walk with poise. It challenges me, when my child stops to look at an ant on the footpath – do I see how late we are, or do I see the wonder in their eyes? Do I respond to my emotionally charged tween with kindness when all she is doing is spitting out words filled with misguided anger? Do I see the good in people I pass in the street?  Do I see the good in those I interact with at work? Those who pack my groceries? Those who forget to smile when the serve me because they’ve had a bad day.

The challenge for our day and every day is to lead by example and see the good in others and speak words of kindness. The kindness we speak may be the only kindness that person has had all day, week or month.

Once, when I was serving a boy who was around 12 years old at a public library, I helped him with what he wanted and he said thanks. I responded with “no worries sweetheart”. He froze and looked at me. I realised what I said and thought it may have come across inappropriately. All he could say was, “ No one has ever called me that before”. He walked away wiping his eyes. So many emotions pulsed through me in that moment, but I realised that my eyes saw the good in him and words of kindness are powerful. Likewise, when we choose kindness, we don’t go about finding fault in those around us, like so many do in our world. It becomes a habit to point out the positives and build up those around us. Oh! there is so much potential in our world, if all we did was say kind thoughtful words, rather than the first thing that pops into our heads.

How many people do you come across in a day, who may be lonely, sad, hurt, bitter… the list could go on. What kind words could you drop into their life? Will you make an effort to see the good in them, it won’t take much? There is always something good inside of everyone – at times we may just need to look harder to find it.