Tag: Leadership

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Leadership

Pace

I’ve been thinking a lot about pace lately. It’s not natural for me, I’m usually all-in or not at all, no middle ground. And let’s be honest, this end-of-year season? It feels overloaded. ‘Busy’ doesn’t even cut it. Here in Australia, the end of the school year almost collides with Christmas, so the fun activities stack up pretty quickly.

A friend summed it up perfectly when I asked how her week was looking, she said: “I don’t know—the calendar tells me.” Same here. My work and home calendars feel like a game of Tetris, trying to fit everything in while giving each activity its proper value and weight.

While thinking about this, I remembered one aspect of my swimming training as a kid. I grew up as a swimmer, swimming lap after lap before school most days. The first few laps of the pool would be all about getting my breathing and strokes into a rhythm and then the laps would pass by my pace would keep time with the rhythm in my mind.  Often in life we find our rhythm, our stride only for it to be met with a hiccup, a spanner in the works, a life event that was not expected and it feels like it all comes undone.

Recently, I’ve been playing Block Blast to unwind and perhaps procrastinate. Funny thing: it’s teaching me something Tetris never did one block at a time. You can’t force all the pieces to fit at once. Sometimes you need to place one block to make space for the next. How true is that right now in the season of busy?

Even when my week looks overflowing, if I focus on one thing at a time and really show up for it, I find my pace helps everything feel more manageable and fall into place. And when the board fills up and you’re told there’s no more space and asked, would you like to try with smaller pieces? Remember, it’s okay. Yes, you might feel full, you might feel the overwhelm. It’s okay… start again. Look at each priority in front of you and work through them, one at a time.

What emphasis are you placing on pacing and prioritizing tasks one at a time?

What does your one thing at a time list look like this week?

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Victory

Let your light shine

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

quote by Marianne Williamson

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Victory

Pause

I’ve been reading a book called Get your life back by John Eldredge, can I say, it has been one of the most inspiring and truth hitting books I have read in a long time. I wanted to pull a quote out of this book to encourage you.

Saint Augustine said, “ We must empty ourselves of all that fills us so that we may be filled with what we are empty of”.

This is such a beautiful quote and although it was written in the 1800’s before the world was busy and full as we know it know, the truth to this rings loud. It is such a great reminder in our every day – when we are bombarded with news, with advertising and everything else that is available on our screens it is so important to get back to the basics and be still. Even only for a moment. Being still, lets us re-center, enables us to focus on what is important and lastly, good for our health.

Take a moment today to pause, re- group and then get on with your day.

Book referenced: Get your Life Back – Every day practices for a world gone mad by John Eldredge (2020)

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About Leadership Victory

Fight for the I do

This past September, we celebrated 20 years of marriage. For us this milestone came with much joy. I find it so special that out of all of the billions of people in the world, at the end of the day I get to hang out with my husband and kids. On our anniverary we reflected on our years of marriage, the ups, the downs, the challenges and triumps – of which their have been many.

One of the many things our marriage has taught me, is to alwasy fight for the I do. Saying I do, and siging a marriage certificate is one tiny act, that does not last a lifetime. It is an act that needs to be chosen and repeated, time and time again – not in a white dress or in a suit, not with amazing food and special people in your life around you. But day in, day out – at your worst, when you are sick, when you are tired, when you are grumpy, when you achieve success, when you are happy and joyful and every other emotion in between.

I am not going to lie, we’ve had moments where we’ve looked at each other and said – Do you think this is it? Do you think we are better off apart? Their have been times, when we needed time to process our thoughts, yet every time we made the choice, however hard it was in the moment to choose I do, to fight for that and to work hard on it.

I want to encourage you today; to keep pursuing the I do in your marriage. When it seems too broken, when it seems too perfect, when it seems like it may never be enough – choose to fight for your I do. Agree to that core value and the hard work will be required to get you both back on track, but worth it. The joy that comes from fighting for your I do, will make every tear, every emotion, every act of listening and comprehending, every act of humility worth it.

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Victory

Context vs. Perspective: Keys to Finding Clarity

Way back in 2020 we wrote about being Consistent & Persistent. To this day I still stand by the value of this advice that was given to me when my kids were little and have applied it to so many areas of my life. This post adds to that perspective the concept of perspective and context.

In life, it is the micro and macro choices we make that lead us to where we are. The house we live in, the route we drive our kids to school, the school they attend, where we buy groceries, where we park our cars, the list of decisions we make seems endless day in day out. The routine of life can become… well boring and repetitve at times. So what do we do when we find ourselves in a position, we don’t like, where were wake up and go, this is not how I wanted my life to be…I hear your mind start to crank over the answer to that. At times, the reality is that the wind and waves of life happen – the unexpected, the tragic, the triumphant moments, all combine to form where things are at in our lives in this very moment. Yet when we start to question and feel, this is not what I wanted my life to be like, we often forget do have a choice. Even when the bank knocks back a loan, when the job offer didn’t work out, when the flat tyre made you late for an important meeting… we need to choose to not feel stuck and know we always have a choice.

Tapping into the perspective vs context concept. I must admit, not too long ago, I was in the middle of the thought patten, of, this is not what I thought life would be like. I was backwards and forwards for weeks in my thought patterns between feeling stuck to feeling I’m brave enough to do something about it. When chatting off the cuff to a mentor, she said these words: “You can change your perspective, or context, or both, but not changing anything, won’t change anything.” It felt like a BINGO moment. The light bulb came on. I couldn’t keep sitting in my frustration, and “lack of” thinking – it wasn’t helping anyone let alone myself. I had a choice. I could step out into the unknown, brave and fearless – I like to call this drastic change (in other words changing the context), or I could change the way I thought about my position (my perspective) – reevaluate what success means to me, reflect on why I am where I am in life, look back on the decisions that have lead me to this point – and look deeper at the reasons why I feel stuck.

In all honestly, I was ready to change my context – quit a few things, start over, take some time off the committment list, but after carefully considering my context and perspective. I sought to change my perspective, dug into my goals a little deeper, and have continued on the path I have chosen for the time being. Doesn’t mean I’m not dreaming of a different context, doesn’t mean all of my frustrations have disappeared, doesn’t mean some days are not tougher than others. What this exercise has shown me is, the simplicity that exists between perspective and context and it’s potential power. It has shown me, the fine line between these two concepts that we totally have control over, whether we realise it or not.

Another way of seeing the concept of perspetcive and context I came across is – having grace to stay or faith to go. Both require bravery, strength and digging deep. Neither choice is easier than the other, but have a weighting of value.

My encouragement today is, instead of sitting in frustration, dig deeper into what your really feeling and thinking. Choose to look through the lens of perspective and context and see what changes you can make today, for a better tomorrow.

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Victory

Cultivating creativity

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.

Albert Einstein

It’s clear that Albert Einstein believes that imagination is the key to real intelligence. Does real intelligence mean we only know facts? Does it mean we are creative? Does it mean we focus on solutions? Is it a mix of all three?

Whatever your position is, imagination allows to see what is not there, and therefore be builders of a new and improved reality.

I was recently challenged around the concept of adults losing their imagination and focusing too much on reality. I am so guilty of this, where I think of a fun, amazing, big blue sky concept only to shoot the thought down within seconds saying that won’t work. That’s not possible.

Who has come across a kid wanting to be a dinosaur when they grow up? It makes you smile right – knowing it’s not possbile but the kid believes it with every bone in their body. Where has that child like imagination, all things are possbile capacity gone? When does it not become a thing anymore as we grow up.

Homes of Victory is all about encouraging families, to think big, plan, grow and be all they can be. What we need more of in our families, in our parenting, is more creativity, more imagination and less barriers in our minds to what is possible. Cultivating creativity takes time, is perhaps a learnt art, of letting go and letting our imaginations run free. One thing I do know is when you do, the joy, the unpredictable and the what was once thought impossible begins to show possibility.

Take some time out to think about your dreams when you were a kid? When you were a teenager beginning to explore the world. What dreams did you have, how have they been squished, how can you revive them?

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Victory

Hard…only cause we care

We found ourselves talking to our kids about having more respect towards each other and us – and indeed everyone they have a conversation with. Words are powerful right. Thanks to the teenage stage, our well-intended correctional chat was met with ” Why do you even care, it’s my choice what I say”. Oh and throw in an eye roll for good measure.

The response was valid and true… but what our teen failed to take into account in this conversation is we care because we love. Our response to this remark was ” We care because we love you. If we didn’t love you, then we honestly wouldn’t care”. Can I also add here in all honesty – sometimes it would be way easier not to care, way less effort to just let things slide, way more peaceful if we didn’t care. By the way we never say this to our kids, it’s merely a back of mind thought.

Love is often in this context the balance between emotion, fun, joy and the other end of the spectrum discipline. The tightrope us parents walk to make sure we build relationship and connection while guiding and correcting.

This response of we care because we love you, works 9 times out of 10. It stops them in their tracks. Why? It makes them think about what I call the train track of being a kid. We have a goal to grow our kids to get them to the station if you like of adulthood with the hope, they are amazing and wonderful and everything in between. However, the only way to get there – is via the track – one side is love and the other is discipline. The two tracks run parallel – sometimes we lean more into one side then the other – but to raise our kids into amazing adults – we need both sides of the track. They too need the boundaries; they need to be valued, and they need to be seen. You can’t have all of that without some form of discipline.

Tired Dad puts it this way

We don’t just raise kids. We raise future adults! who will one day reflect on how they were loved, guided and seen.

Tired Dad

So, dig deep, keep going through the hard. It will absolutely be worth caring in the end.

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Leadership Victory

Where’s your identity?

I was listening to a pod cast ‘ Becoming the Leader Within Us’ by Warren Rustand, where he served as appointment secretary to USA president Gerald Ford and has been the CEO of many companies in his career. In a nutshell a well accomplished businessman. He is also the coauthor of a book titled the Leader Within Us. My goal in listening to this podcast was the glean some further time management skills and to hear how the best of the best time managed a president. I was attuned to listening out for hot tips, and I did glean a few, but what struck a chord with me was the way he wove some very simple yet valuable life lessons into this podcast. After telling story after story about how he managed the Presidents schedule and went home to his own family – a family of 7 children and a faithful wife. The words he spoke that stood out were:

We never exceed our kids’ opinions of us  

Warren Rustand

Boom, how does that make you feel? It took me a minute or two to process that. As adults we often spend our waking hours, trying to work out how to be the best at what we do, how to impress, how to align ourselves to be ready for the next promotion… all those things. Yet do we value the opinion of our children? Does their voice matter? For them, we are all they have. What example are we setting? What encouragement are we giving them?

Another famous Dad (and actor) Adam Sandler was also quoted, and I paraphrase, that a big life lesson he learned in fatherhood is that ‘your kids are not keeping score of your career’. 

I love this perspective, to my family and to your family, it actually doesn’t matter what you do (in the 9 – 5), it’s who you are – every other hour of the week. All they see is you when you are home and how you behave when you are with them. It’s a great reminder, to leave some energy in the tank, for when you get home after work, it’s a great reminder to follow through on your promises, it’s a great reminder to stop and think about who you want to be rather than finding your identity in what you do.

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Victory

Which choice?

When it comes to leadership, we often need to make decisions – some with time to think about, others are required in the moment where instinct kicks in.

The average adult makes 35,000 choices a day. This equates to nearly two hours of decision making on any given day. I’ve never given this much thought, but wow – that makes me wonder how many of these decisions do I make subconsciously. If we think about our responses in conversations, a decision is made on what we say…is that more often than not a subconscious response?

On the flip side making decisions about behaviour for example needs to at times be 100% conscious. It allows us to make hard tasks do-able, it enables us to live according to our values and standards even when we really want to remove our filter and tell someone what we really think or behave in a way that we will regret later.

Making conscious choices about our integrity can be challenging, but can I encourage you to stick to your standards and values and make that hard choice and live it out. Grit your teeth, and step by step live out that decision when it comes to integrity.

This quote from General Norman Schwazkoph really puts our choices into perspective:

Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without strategy.

What will you choose when the going gets tough?

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Victory

Turning Up

Sometimes I need to pinch myself; I feel like I have the best team in the world. As a team, we face many challenges not with each other but due to the roles we perform. As a team we are strong, but the challenges of the task at hand often wears us down. To combat this, we’ve recently started doing weekly check ins, that are not process focused team meetings but rather some time carved out each week to debrief, reflect, brainstorm and process the week.

One thing we’ve discussed openly, is the question of ‘How do we turn up?’ How do we want to turn up to our day verses how our day unfolds can be two very different things in terms of emotions and challenges. In my team, it’s easy to get frustrated, emotional and honestly not be our best by the time Friday comes around. I love it, that we can openly say, this made me angry, this made be anxious – name an emotion and someone in my team has probably felt it. What we’ve also asked ourselves as a team is, once we recognise how we are turning up, what are we going to do about it. I can admit some days, the contents of my emails get to me within the first 5 minutes, and I’m grumpy. That’s not how I planned to turn up to my day, but that is the emotional reality. The key is what I do next. The choice I make, influences my team, influences the stakeholders I engage with and ultimately impacts me. It takes courage and bravery to step out of your emotion and choose to turn up how you predetermined you would. My goal is to turn up, positive, open minded and ready to go. I don’t always turn up like this, but it’s my goal.

How we turn up, comes down to the choice we make, not circumstances, not experiences but an intrinsic choice. What we choose to do when we find ourselves not at our best is significant. It determines the influence we have, the atmosphere we generate around us and how much we allow circumstance and experience to control us. Victor Frankl a survivor of the holocaust says it rather eloquently.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Viktor Frankl

We have an unwritten rule in my team, that we can call each other out, if we feel someone is not admitting to being their best self. We not only call it out, but then ask, what can I do for you? As a team we’ve chosen to aim to turn up – courageous, positive and supportive. We may not always get there, and I absolutely do not expect this of my team every day in every way, but I love it that it’s a goal, and that is what we aim for.

Do you need to assess how you show up? This applies to every aspect of our lives- work, home and play. How you allow circumstances and experiences to control you? Once you decide on a goal of how you want to show up, even when it’s hard. You will notice the freedom and the positive influence you have on those around you.

To summarise, ask the following questions:

  1. How do I want to turn up?
  2. If I’m not turning up how I planned, what can I do about it?
  3. If someone else isn’t turning up how they planned, what can I do to help?
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Victory

Reality check

I was listening to a pod cast where Warren Rustand who served as appointment secretary to USA president Gerald Ford and has been the CEO of many companies. In a nutshell a well accomplished businessman. He is also the co-author of a book titled the Leader Within Us. My goal in listening to this podcast was the glean some further time management skills and to hear how the best of the best time manages a president.  I was attuned to listening out for hot tips, I must admit I gleaned a few, but what struck a chord with me was the way he wove some very simple yet valuable life lessons into this podcast. After telling story after story about how he managed the Presidents schedule and went home to his own family – a family of 7 children and a faithful wife. The words he spoke that stood out to me were:

We never exceed our kids’ opinions of us

Warren Rustand

Boom, how does that make you feel? It took me some time to process that. As adults we often spend our waking hours, trying to work out how to be the best at what we do, how to impress, how to strategically place ourselves in position to be next in line for a promotion… all those things are good and okay yet… do we value the opinion of our children? Does their voice matter? For them, we are all they have. What example are we setting? What encouragement are we giving them?

Another famous Dad (and actor) Adam Sandler was also quoted, and I paraphrase, that a big life lesson he learned in fatherhood is that ‘ your kids are not keeping score of your career’. 

I love this perspective, to my family and to your family, it actually doesn’t matter what you do (in the 9 – 5), it’s who you are – every other hour of the week. All they see is you when you are available and how you behave when you are with them. It’s a great reminder, to leave some energy in the tank, for when we hang out with our family, it’s a great reminder to follow through on your promises, it’s a great reminder to stop and think about who you want to be rather than finding your identity in what you do.

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Victory

Your focus needs focus

I know I am not the only one, when I say, I wish my kids listened the first time, or even the second time… I’m not sure what it is, but this is the phase we are going through, where we – as in my children and I, have different expectations of when I ask them to do something. I’m pretty sure no matter how I ask them to do something – like pop your lunch box on the bench as we walk in the door from school, they hear it and interpret it as – at any point in the future I will do it, if I remember to or feel like it, or I could just ignore the instruction and pretend I’m so tired from school that I couldn’t possibly do anything as difficult as unzip my school bag. Sorry – that rant just happened…. Does anyone else have this kind of rant? or situation in their home?

On the weekend we watched the Karate Kid – the one from 2010. Our kids loved it and we realised this was their first taste of a kung fu / karate movies- oh the can of worms we’ve now opened… The takeaway quote from the whole movie for them was – “I’m focusing”… ” No your focus needs focus”. They laughed about it, repeated it over and over to us and each other.

It raises the question – do we need to refocus our focus? Do I as a parent need to refocus my opinions and thoughts of my kids not listening the first time. Do I need to reduce how much I care about it- and focus on what really matters? I’m not saying I will now remove all responsibility and allow them to do anything they like. They’re part of my family and team so we all have a role to play – but what I will do for my own benefit, is change my focus. I need to give them room to breathe, room to be obedient and take responsibly. The only person upset about the situation is me. Why – because of what I am focusing on.

In our homes, in our workplaces, in our sphere of influence what do we need to focus our focus on? Are we currently looking at what really matters and do it well?

I say, not yet to this question, but I want to. I’m not sure how I will personally get there, time will tell. It’s up to each of us to decide how that will work – but set that goal – have a laugh about how ‘ your focus needs focus’ and work out the best way to refocus on what really matters.

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Victory

Soft is strong

To the Mumma of boys who have soft hearts, I see the silent tears fall, as they tell you about their day. Afraid to ask to play, as the others seem so rough. I see your heart breaking as he navigates friends that have come and gone and friends that are still to come. The softness in his heart is not the lack of brave – but far from it. The pursuit of justice in his mind, is the making of a warrior. He will one day stand tall, undeterred by the arrows that fly by day, or the shadows that creep by night, until then precious one, take heart.

Your boy is stronger than he thinks, wiser than he knows, braver than he gives himself credit for. He can run as he chooses; he seeks truth and justice, he gives with all his might. Others may not see it, others may take advantage, but one thing is for sure- the warrior within is only just getting started. Nurture him, love him, encourage him, push him safely out of his comfort zone to prove he is capable, to show him, he can – when he thinks he can’t.

To the Mumma of boys why are soft hearted, take courage for one day, when he stands like a warrior, he will remember you, he will have the words you spoke into his life, safely tucked into his heart. He will know the value of the nurturing, the value of your patience and the value of your never-ending love.

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Victory

Leadership trait: Imperfection

It’s been a while since we’ve shared about leadership traits and what makes a leader a leader. We’ve shared about a wide range of leadership traits, like courage, integrity, resilience and adaptability… what we haven’t really shared about is the deeper leadership traits that are sometimes easier to ignore, make us feel uncomfortable and to an extent believe we don’t possess.

Often, we look to those in leadership positions with the expectation of perfection. We place often unrealistic assumptions on their behaviour that they will make the best decisions (that matches ours of course), that always takes into account the greater good, that never faulters, that always leads well under pressure, always, always, always…

I want to flip that narrative and ask the question, in your family, in your sphere of influence who do you lead perhaps without realising? Who looks to you to lead? How close to perfection do you get?

There are two positives I wish to pull out of this somewhat gloomy leadership trait of imperfection:

  1. Humility is key. Humility is one of those words that can be misrepresented and misinterpreted. This definition spells it out so clearly, humility is “Modesty, lacking pretence, not believing that you are superior to others.” We lead whether we like it or not and at times, we do get it wrong. You can lead, be in a position of leadership and / or authority but still have humility. It is knowing that you are not superior to others, that you like everyone else, makes mistakes, perhaps to the detriment of your team or not… either way, when we lead with imperfection – we also need to lead with humility. To be able to admit when we are wrong, to be able to say I wasn’t my best that day, to be able to reflect on what can we learn.
  2. Growth is the goal. When we can admit, even in our own minds, that we are imperfect, we can use it as an opportunity to grow. I am not saying strive for perfection, that just isn’t possible. What is possible, is growing in knowledge, growing in capacity, growing in understanding, growing in your leadership abilities, once we grasp that it is 100% okay to lead with imperfection. The freedom that comes with this understanding will transform you and impact the influence you have.

We can take these positives with us into our home and friendships. We can share our learnings, we can keep each other accountable, and we can be human together.

The last thing I want to add about imperfection as a leadership trait is, that there is no use, using the excuse as imperfect to beat ourselves up about the mistakes we make. It is all about acknowledging that imperfection is simply once facet to leadership that exists.

What we choose to do with our imperfection, how we grow and how we process our learnings has the capacity to contribute to an atmosphere of positivity and encourage those around us to have growth mindsets.

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Victory

Navigating hang ups and bang ups

In the last post, hang ups and bang ups we looked at how hang ups and bang ups happen, and how we respond is our choice. As hard as that may be at times, to choose the right response, the integrity filled response, the unexpectedly kind response. After one particular hang up and bang up, I was sent this quote.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

Charles R Swindoll

What I’m interested to hear is what is your first response to this quote?

My first response when reading this quote with a stream of thoughts starting with yes, I can see how that is true, then I moved onto, wait I have no control over what happens to me and how could I possibly try to respond positively all the time to ‘ what happens’… the reality is, there is no real answer. But what we do have in this quote, which is very thought provoking, is once again a choice, we need to step back and make every time we need to respond to something that happens -whether it’s negative or positive. What happens to us, as per the quote, isn’t what we are in control of, what we are in control of is our response. A little daunting isn’t it. Yet, with a little perspective though, it’s easier to see what we do have control of and how our response matters the most.

I am for want of a better word and avid people watcher. I love to observe, I love to chat, and I love to listen to people’s stories. What amazes me, is how different people respond to trauma, how different people celebrate milestones and how people admit to strangers their deepest darkest secrets. Part of my amazement is the learnings and growth in my own life that come from listening and gleaning during these conversations.

What I want to encourage you with, is how you navigate the hang ups and bang ups in life, can inspire others to see their own hang ups and bang ups differently. Sharing your story in the right context with the right person at the right time can make such a huge difference and truly inspire others to live in victory and rethink how they respond to what happens in life.