You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have.
Jim Rohn
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Tag: innovation
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Consistency is in the doing
In our last post we talked about how consistency is powerful when it came to our behaviour and choices we make as we navigate an unprecedented time of disappointments and seemingly lack of control in most areas of our life.
Another aspect to consistency is how we deal with stress and what feels like blow after blow of COVID related frustrations and disappointments. When we went through an incredibly stressful time in our lives about 4 years ago, my Dad made a comment that I’ve never forgotten. He simply said “beware the of the layers”. After that comment we talked about how stress and external pressures sometimes are a bit onion like layers upon layers.
What I am hearing more and more in this COVID season, is mental health across our nation is in sharp decline and in all honesty I am not surprised. When we start to talk to anyone around us, it seems the layers of worry, stress and anxiety comes out in both words and facial expressions.
I was listening to a pod cast yesterday where the speaker said, the 18 months to 2 years of COVID gives us what scientists call pandemic brain. The amount of decisions and stress our brains have dealt with over this time period is equivalent to 10 years – no wonder we feel tired. (Podcast: Miracle in the Mismatch)
So, how do we stay consistent in the middle of this unprecedented time?
Talk
- Talk about what measures you can take as an individual and family to bring the stress and anxiety down. This may also be a conversation to have in the workplace also. Think about the stressors in your life, write them down – acknowledge them – then talk about how it could be changed from a stressor to neutral or even better from a stress to a source of strength and motivation. Talking is not easy – but it will get you thinking out loud, you’ll be processing it with some one else and brainstorming together.
- Talk to someone who can help you make sense of your stress – whether it is a friend, family member or professional – just start talking – get support and the help you need. Their is no shame in dealing with stress, pressures and anxieties.
- Talk about bringing back the fun. COVID has dampened many plans and exciting things we thought we might be able to do but can’t. At the moment I am lamenting travelling but as a family we brought back the fun and started listing places we could go based on our names. Sounds kind of not fun and a bit silly, but we enjoyed looking up places, dreaming about what some places would be like etc… It is a list we could never afford to fulfill but it gave us some fun and allowed us to dream.
Do
Now that you’ve talked about the serious stuff and everything in between – it is time to take action. Make a list of actions – plan your actions – motivate yourself to fulfil your actions. To give you an idea – as a family we talked about how we are talking to each other could be improved. Our action was to learn about left and right brain and how we flick sides in the use of our brain when we are angry for example. We learnt ways to flick back to calm ( at least calm-ish) and have been practicing that. It has reduced a layer of stress in our home. It was just one way we could remove a stress from the stress column in our minds and move it to neutral.
Keep Going
You’ve got this. None of us were prepared back in 2019 for what 2020 to now would bring – to ourselves, our families, our city, our nation and world. All of us have been touched some how, impacted some how by COVID.
Once you have talked and started to do – keep going. Keep finding ways to bring back the fun, to turn stressors into neutral. Give yourself some grace, allow your self to be sad, be tired, be hurting – but remember to pick yourself up and keep going. One step in front of the other is all it takes. Just take one step at a time. You’ve got this.
What are some ways you are trying to keep yourself even keeled? How are you working towards being consistent?
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Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.
Albert Einstein
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Consistency is powerful
In what feels like a long and never ending COVID season – the impacts of change, are being felt far and wide. I’ve spoken to people this week – who are anxious about keeping up with the ever changing restrictions – wanting to do the right thing, but are unsure about the restrictions that are in place. I’ve spoken to people who are locked down to the point, where the only way the teenagers in the home have ‘fun’ is swap the room they are working in at lunch time. I’ve spoken to families who are doing it really tough and those who are making the most of lockdowns and changing restrictions.
Though we face a season of let downs, changing landscapes, a need to keep going, their is a glimmer of hope – a silver lining. We have a choice to make when it comes to our behavior and consistency. We hold control over that. We are responsible for that. We essentially hold the gaming control when it comes to who we are and how we behave.
I must admit aside from everything COVID I am not as disciplined as I would like to be or imagine I should be. The idea of doing the same thing every day – like go for a walk, sounds nice in my head in theory, but when I do it, I get bored pretty quick and try to change it up. I grew up with my Dad being so consistent, and disciplined in his routines that I wondered if he found it boring… what I did learn after observing him year after year, is the progress he made, the slow and steady pace of consistency paying off over time, time and time again. He is now – still a very fit man, enjoying early retirement ( less the travel plans), he has a wide range of hobbies and interests because over time, he was consistent in his learning – consistent in expanding his interests.
One thing I would like to challenge you with, is – what is your consistency like? I am always trying to work on being more consistent with the simple things. Like taking the time to have dinner as a family – carving out that time daily. I am trying to develop a routine that works with my new flexible hours at work. What is it that you have control over, in this time of seemingly lack of control.
Think about how you can be more consistent ? How you can harness control over the things that you can control – like consistency and behavior. While not thinking about the things you / me / us no longer have control over – like when borders will reopen, and when can I plan a holiday that won’t get cancelled by lockdowns.
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A dream is a picture, a vision is a plan
Pastor Brian Houston
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Well done is better than well said
Benjamin Franklin
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personal retreat
In my workplace it is strongly suggested that we have a retreat day every quarter. Time where we step out of the office and into nature to regroup, reflect and reset. This is such a foreign concept to me who pretty much doesn’t know how to have down time, as I am always doing something.
To be honest I have been researching what a personal retreat day is – so I can plan one, confidently knowing I will make the most of the retreat day. Anyone laughing at me yet? I’ve been asking my team mates -what do you even do on a retreat day? How do you make it work with your family? All of the logistical questions that I think of.
The crux of it is, is to reboot and enjoy the process. So in my planning of my retreat day – which at the moment has a schedule… includes good food, some time in nature, a time of reflecting and a time of writing. I have decided to purposely leave my computer at home and not check any work emails. I am determined to be completely switched off for a whole day. I am literally hoping I can do it.
Do you take the time to have a personal retreat day? Have you even considered doing one? In our hustle and bustle – not just in our workplaces, but families, and even our minds – I am beginning to look forward to this day of difference. Where I can step out of the normal, step into the slow and still ‘feel’ productive, while knowing I am setting time aside for me to reboot and reset.
What are somethings you do to reboot, reflect and reset?
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here we go again
I’m sitting here at 9:30am in my PJ’s – one of my kids is painting – the other two are playing Ring Fit – with the argument of it is technically exercise so it doesn’t count as screen time. My husband is sitting next to me working… I should be working – and in all honesty I have been working hard through this latest round of lockdowns… but not in my usual rhythm. For one thing, I am never in my PJ’s at this time of day, I am never normally this unmotivated nor willing to allow myself some grace and work according to my motivation levels. After four days of lockdown with three to go … I know I am blessed – we’ve been relatively lucky in terms of how many lockdowns we’ve experienced and generally they are not too long…. I am realizing my motivation to be productive is sliding lower by the day.
Usually I take the challenge of changing life rhythms and run with it, but this time, my motivation has been hit big time. The routine of life changes the instant lockdown announcements are made, the kids think its school holidays again – rather than thinking about school work from home, my mind goes into ‘how will we do this mode’ and the puppy well she is just super excited to have us all around all the time. The change and the thought of here we go again seems bigger this time – have you ever felt that? You’re not alone. The thing is, we need to give ourselves more grace – even when it’s hard to.
In our ever change landscape of life – be kind to yourself. Listen to the words you tell yourself – are they kind or critical? Check yourself – when you’re feeling it – when the down times come – what is the language you use? Flip it into a positive- allow yourself the time to do it.
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The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born-that there is a genetic factor to leadership. That’s nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true. Leaders are made rather than born.
Warren Bennis
In the rhythms of my new workplace -of which I have now been at for 6 months – I can’t believe how time flies – the one thing I love about it, is the encouragement of self-care. We all run at a fast pace from week to week, and the first question asked at our last team meeting was – What are you going to do over the next 3 months to look after yourself? This question was asked before our planning took place, before all of the details of the next 3 months were spread out – like a clogged calendar of work… I wish to highlight at this point – this question was asked at the start of the meeting – not after all of the work was laid out and self-care was forced to slip in somewhere, maybe along the way if possible. No, it was first. It needs to be priority. We had some laughs as we went around the room, about how we all intended to self-care – answers ranged from booking annual leave to watching the Olympics – while trying to not get too tired to planning work flows better so it’s not overwhelming.
Recognizing the need for self-care in a way that you as an individual needs it– is becoming more common in the workplace – so too is empathy and all sorts of other emotional tools that we can use to relate better to each other, work better together, achieve greater goals, and ultimately become better individuals.
Bene Brown aptly states that:
It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol
Brene Brown
What status symbol are you chasing? Have a good think about it, What is it that you are chasing? My question to you is why? After why, I’m going to ask again – why?
I’ve struggled over time with this question of: What I am chasing and the reason behind it. I’ve struggled with the question of what am I sacrificing to chase, what am I gaining – it’s has to be more than the thrill of the chase. Keep asking yourself why – until you are satisfied with the answer. If all you are getting at the end of the day is exhaustion at the expense of rest and play – ask yourself, is it really worth it?
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Comparison will lead you down the path of compromise and competition. Believe me, you don’t want to go there.
Lisa Bevere
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Together is the answer
Loneliness is something we often think of as – out there. We know that loneliness exists – but in truth it happens everywhere. We can’t see it and we don’t know it until we are told about it. Loneliness never looks the same for any one and never discriminates. The thing is loneliness has always existed but now in 2021 it has become a pandemic in its own right – a killer of sorts (as suicide rates are skyrocketing) a destroyer of confidence, like a broken wire in the capacity to connect. I am not trying to dwell on the negative but give a foundation to both a challenge and new perspective. A new perspective that perhaps we all need.
To put loneliness into context… Britain has a minister for loneliness, Japan has also just nominated one… loneliness is not just something that we feel alone in our homes. The world around us, is experiencing loneliness of pandemic proportions that national governments, are making it a parliamentary priority. I am not sure I can list too many other social issues (not crime related) that have this level of priority.
As much as I hate this, it is so clear, that loneliness is all around us – magnified by COVID and the ramifications of lockdowns, job losses, family separated by halted travel and the list continues. The perspective I want to encourage is that of looking outwards, not focusing on the negative that may be impacting us, but how we can be the answer to those around us. I frame the perspective with the words – TOGETHER is my answer to loneliness. Together meaning if we all – as individuals make a choice to change our perspective and to step just a little out of our comfort zone, the difference with can make is enormous.
If we ALL look out for the ones when we go through our day – the ones, who may be carrying loneliness, the ones who may be carrying isolation, grief, loss the list goes on. If we challenge ourselves to speak to someone, we’ve never met, if we show an interest in others – this challenge will be met – slowly, steadily, and positively. The more we notice the ones, the more those around us will take note and be encouraged to be part of the answer. If we all begin to notice those in our lives during the week, those that may need a word of encouragement, a listening ear, someone to acknowledge them – be mindful and take the time to just do it – take the time to chat, take the time to be kind, take the time to notice. Be the one, who makes a difference in some ones day.
You will be surprised and so encouraged by the outcome of your kindness and thoughtfulness. What will you plan to do today to perhaps -lend a listening ear, be the one to acknowledge some one, to give an encouraging word…
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Goals are dreams with work boots on…
Dave Ramsey
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The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.
Steve Jobs
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The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realisation that this is what the child will always need can be hard.
Sloan Wilson
Homes of Victory 