People buy into the leader before they buy into the vision.
John Maxwell
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Tag: innovation
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Greener grass
A few of our friends, love their grass – love making it greener, love mowing it, love the way it looks and spend time comparing their grass photo, their tips and tricks etc… We on the other hand, have grass in our yard, it gets mowed when it needs it and that’s the extent of how much we love our grass. Reading the group chats about grass, makes me smile but I also ponder how some one could love grass so much – it’s just not my jam.
How many of us have wondered about greener grass when it comes to life, where we work, our family, even our selves? I have never really gelled with the phrase, “the grass is always greener on the other side” because I love to question and generally respond to the phrase “Is it really?” I like to see the proof.
Last summer, as we spent time as a family reflecting on the year that finished and the year ahead – we started a family book club – sorry its nerdy but we love it. We started to read Brene Brown’s Atlas of the Heart. It has turned into a competition to see who can read it the quickest as their is so much gold in this book. It is actually hard not the highlight every word in the book as we are learning so much from it and want to remember all that we have learnt. In one chapter Brown talks about comparison. In this chapter she uses the grass is greener analogy and unpacks it. I never knew this about grass but here it is paraphrased for you (This comes from page 21 of Atlas of the Heart, Brene Brown, 2021)
Due to the physics of how grass grows, when we peer over the fence at our neighbors grass it actually does look greener – even if it is truly the same lushness as our own grass. The grass actually looks greener on the other side but that means nothing comparatively its all about perspective.
My encouragement to you, when it comes to asking ourselves if things could be better – yes of course they could be… but are we saying that in light of comparison or perspective? Some times it is hard to tease these two topics apart, but we need to simplify our thinking and ask ourselves the hard questions. Would I be thinking this, if that person didn’t say that to me, if I didn’t see that in their home, if I didn’t see it on the socials. Before we act out of comparison, to change the way we do things/ to change what we have or don’t have because of… stop and check your perspective. Take stock of your own green grass so to speak. Yes we can always improve, we can always be learning and growing, but aim to do it with perspective rather than that of comparison.
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When you talk, you are only repeating something you know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.
Dalai Lama
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It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
Epictetus
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The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority.
Ken Blanchard
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“I am not an angel,” I asserted; “and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself.”
Charlotte Bronte – Jane Eyre
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When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.
Abraham Joshua Heschel
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Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.
H. Jackson Brown
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Influencers are not leaders, but leaders are influencers.
Richie Norton
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Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
Judy Garland
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Logic will take you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
Albert Einstein
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May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.
Nelson Mandela
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It boils down to choice…
This is by no means a place where we feel we know it all, have it all together, or are any type of expert. Homes of Victory for us, is not even about sharing opinions in a world that has way too many of those being blurted out from every possible platform. What we aim to do rather is start conversations – that lead hopefully in a positive way – to a shift in the way you do things, in a way you think about yourself and how you see your family.
At the moment, I am turning over in my mind, more and more the question of being busy. The question of how did I get to this point where I can’t even seem to find time to order groceries online. Ok so its not my favorite task and I am therefore not too motivated to do it, but none the less it is a task that need to happen – in order for my family of 5 to live.
At times, I think about what I need to get done in a week, or a day as ask why… why do I feel that I need to be doing all of these things. Why have I committed to these things in the first place and why can I not just slow down. It actually comes down to choice – would you agree? I choose what I commit to – and yes it is often way to much or far more than what is reasonable. ( I have high expectations of myself!) I can choose what activities my kids are involved in… I am even blessed enough to choose my work hours – within reason. So why then, do I see the lack of time, the rush, the tiredness, the never ending to do list as something of an obligation rather than a choice…
I actually don’t have an answer for that question. But one thing I would like to highlight, mention, suggest at this point is – Does my ( yours / our) busi-ness align with our personal / family goals and values? I need to reign myself in at times, because my love of over – commitment plays havoc with the values I have for my family – the ones where I value dinner time together, and value time together, value speaking life into my children (even when I am tired), the value of time with my husband – and continually learning more about him and how we can be a better team as we lead our family…
I know when my over- committedness – I’m pretty sure that is a word – tips my family values out of sync. The one thing I haven’t nailed yet – is knowing where my line of too much starts, and where my line of it’s all good stops. For everyone this will be different according to capacity – but what this will show is your ability to make good choices. I’m not sure about you but at my kids school – they are encouraged to make good choices – this seems to be the way they are disciplined – told to make a good choice rather than a bad one. We as parents, as family leaders need to remember that the outcome for our families, our marriage, our children is the a result of the choices we make. Whether they are seen to be good or not.
The thought I want to leave with you today is, don’t let life happen to you and spend your days wondering why you are so busy – with not a lot of time for what you want to do. Think about the choices you make to commit to things and the impact it has on yourself and your family. How do those impacts then work for or against your family values?
It may take time to think all of these things through, but take the time over days even weeks – their is nothing like a slight change in your week to make a huge difference to your family life.
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There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.
C.S. Lewis
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Before you act, listen. Before you react, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try.
Ernest Hemingway
Homes of Victory 