Tag: growth

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Victory

Leadership trait: Imperfection

It’s been a while since we’ve shared about leadership traits and what makes a leader a leader. We’ve shared about a wide range of leadership traits, like courage, integrity, resilience and adaptability… what we haven’t really shared about is the deeper leadership traits that are sometimes easier to ignore, make us feel uncomfortable and to an extent believe we don’t possess.

Often, we look to those in leadership positions with the expectation of perfection. We place often unrealistic assumptions on their behaviour that they will make the best decisions (that matches ours of course), that always takes into account the greater good, that never faulters, that always leads well under pressure, always, always, always…

I want to flip that narrative and ask the question, in your family, in your sphere of influence who do you lead perhaps without realising? Who looks to you to lead? How close to perfection do you get?

There are two positives I wish to pull out of this somewhat gloomy leadership trait of imperfection:

  1. Humility is key. Humility is one of those words that can be misrepresented and misinterpreted. This definition spells it out so clearly, humility is “Modesty, lacking pretence, not believing that you are superior to others.” We lead whether we like it or not and at times, we do get it wrong. You can lead, be in a position of leadership and / or authority but still have humility. It is knowing that you are not superior to others, that you like everyone else, makes mistakes, perhaps to the detriment of your team or not… either way, when we lead with imperfection – we also need to lead with humility. To be able to admit when we are wrong, to be able to say I wasn’t my best that day, to be able to reflect on what can we learn.
  2. Growth is the goal. When we can admit, even in our own minds, that we are imperfect, we can use it as an opportunity to grow. I am not saying strive for perfection, that just isn’t possible. What is possible, is growing in knowledge, growing in capacity, growing in understanding, growing in your leadership abilities, once we grasp that it is 100% okay to lead with imperfection. The freedom that comes with this understanding will transform you and impact the influence you have.

We can take these positives with us into our home and friendships. We can share our learnings, we can keep each other accountable, and we can be human together.

The last thing I want to add about imperfection as a leadership trait is, that there is no use, using the excuse as imperfect to beat ourselves up about the mistakes we make. It is all about acknowledging that imperfection is simply once facet to leadership that exists.

What we choose to do with our imperfection, how we grow and how we process our learnings has the capacity to contribute to an atmosphere of positivity and encourage those around us to have growth mindsets.

Categories
Victory

lean into the discomfort

I posted this blog post in April 2021… I wanted to share it again as we all have a story to share, a story to encourage and a story to touch lives around you… enjoy.

Last night I was privileged to go to the graduation of a leadership development program of which my husband was part of. What amazed me – was the journey that every participant of which their was 20 went on, to get to the end of the program. The program was jam packed with leadership tools which formed a final toolkit, it involved more soul searching and personal development that you could poke a stick at the the most wonderful part of it was – the stories of victory, the stories of ‘we made it’ that shone through.

Often at a graduation ceremony we don’t get to hear – just how much blood, sweat and tears went into the achievement. We only tend to see the smile, the handshake, the certificate and camera flash. This ceremony was different. Each and every graduate had an opportunity to share a few words about their experience – in an in-conversation style presentation. My eyes brimmed with tears, as one by one the stories of transformation were explained. The stories of growing confidence, the stories of how now, they are closer to their families because of what they learnt, the stories of how they felt like they took up too much space in this world – but now realize that they as a person are amazing.

Do you have a story to tell? Have you experienced a growth journey of some kind? It may not be as intense as what these graduates experienced. It may not have been a facilitated type of personal or professional growth – but at some point, you must have lent into the discomfort and come out bigger, better and stronger for it. To the leaning in – I say thank you – thank you for wanting to be a better person, thank you for putting in the effort to change yourself and therefore your world.

Homes of Victory started out because we as a family experienced the most trying times of our lives. We made a choice to stick it out, to lean into the discomfort – even if it meant gritting our teeth and saying I love you – even when those thoughts were in our hearts but it was dreadfully hard to say Our heart for people of every stage of life and especially those with young families is to be supported and encouraged to lean into the discomfort – to grow – to influence – to live life victorious.

We know life throws us into all sorts of wild situations – ones we never imaged, ones we wouldn’t wish on any one – but you know what – you are brave, you are made for this moment. Even when it seems overwhelming and overbearing – lean into it, learn from it, grow from it. When the season changes – you’ll be able to look back and reflect. Make sure you do – reflect and reflect until you feel you have celebrated the wins, the best you can, when you have unpacked the disappointments the best you can, when you can pick up the growth in yourself and those who have experienced with you. Use each season to become a better person, to be all that you can be. Don’t be scared of expectations – what you expect of yourself or what others expect. Change your perspective and simply lean in.

After the learning, after the wild has calmed down remember to share your story. Share it with intention to encourage, share it with the intention to show others that it can be done. Your story is a powerful tool that will change the lives of those around you.

It’s a story about victory that will touch the lives of everyone… It’s powerful.  

Derek Luke

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Leadership

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It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.

Epictetus
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Leadership

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When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel
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Leadership

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Influencers are not leaders, but leaders are influencers.

Richie Norton
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Building community

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Comparison will lead you down the path of compromise and competition. Believe me, you don’t want to go there.

Lisa Bevere
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Leadership

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Goals are dreams with work boots on…

Dave Ramsey
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Victory

Can you see it?

We often joke in our marriage that my husband is the dreamer and I am the realist. To further describe it, he is the risk taker, I’m not, he is Mr Adventure, I am Mrs Risk Assessment first. After 16 years of marriage and many jokes about our personality types, I’ve come to realize, that he can see things that I can’t see and vice versa. Another way to put this is, he chooses to see things I don’t and I choose to see things he doesn’t. The next realization is – do I trust what he can see, even if I can’t? The answer is yes, but it’s always tentative, why – because I want to be able to see what he sees.

My better half will put risk into the equation because he knows / sees / believes the outcome will more than likely outweigh the risk. Can I add that he is spot on 99% of the time…

In life, what is it that you choose to see? What is it that you are encouraged to see? What is is that you may not be able to see straight up?

I’ve been really challenged by this thought lately. What is it that I don’t see – that perhaps if I did, could lead to a different outcome. As a mega organized, ahem reformed control freak, I like to plan and know how things are going to work. These last few months I’ve been testing myself in a way to see how I would cope if my comfort zone was to be pushed out – by me. The results – the kids did run out of milk one morning – not sure why running out of milk was a fear but anyway – thanks to an early morning servo run, the kids had breakfast, I applied for a dream job and was appointed in the role… I was even able to wake up with the kids on the holidays and not have the day planned. For me this is a huge achievement – for some it maybe normal – for me a huge shift

Hear me out – what you don’t see – is exactly that. When you begin to become aware that there are things unseen – things in life such as behaviors, attitudes and thought patterns that could be holding you back… why not try to see them. Why not explore a change in your comfort zone – push yourself a little. My example may not resonate with you, but think of a way to make yourself uncomfortable – I’m sure you will be fine – more fine than you give yourself credit for.

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Victory

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Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.

John Maxwell
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Victory

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Anytime, someone gives you advice, rethink if it will lead to personal progress.

LailahGiftyAkita, author of  Think Great: Be Great!

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Victory

Resistance

 Nothing gets stronger without resistance.

Steven Furtick

In leadership, nothing provokes frustration like resistance. We all have ways of working around it, like change management, innovation, the like it or lump it mentality – the list goes on. May I add here, when parents face resistance from their offspring, many of these work arounds occur too… including ignoring and hoping it goes away…

When we look at resistance in term of lifting weights or exercising – resistance shines in a positive light. When we face resistance we get stronger. When we continue to face the resistance the resistance reduces – as our strength increases.

The question I pose is this – even though resistance in whatever form it comes, can be frustrating – can it also contribute to growth?

We all have that person in our lives, that makes it a little difficult, one where we try to work with them, try to collaborate with them, try to make it the relationship better- sometimes the resistance will always be there – but sometimes it will be the thing that makes us a better person.

I can’t help but put this example in here, I love my kids so much. One thing I have come to realise when I compare them to others ( we try not to but you know it happens) that my kids are not compliant. I mean, not compliant by any means. They are good kids, they do behave well but they are questioners. When I was a kid, I was satisfied when I questioned and got the answer “because I said so” – who agrees right – some times as parents we just say so.

Oh no, not my kids. They question, and negotiate, fuel the conversation with more resistance, add more curiosity and at times it never seems to end. To be honest – I love this trait, we have raised them to be curious and to question – but sometimes I just wish they would accept the answer “because I said so.” With that said, the resistance over the years – and I mean that with kindness, the curiosity we have encountered, the long into the night conversations about the name of the bone in our nose… we know we are definitely more intelligent, more prepared for conversations and know what to expect. In this instance, resistance has made us stronger.

What type of experiences have you had where resistance has made you a better leader? Better parent? Better person?

Categories
Victory

Brave Feet

At times we come across moments in our life where we need to make a decision that may seem daunting, that may seem overwhelming, but at the same time feels right. Sometimes we just need to take a step, to the point where we can’t turn back and the decision is set in motion. Then over time the decision seems less impossible, less daunting and more incredible and more satisfying as you discover it was the right decision.

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.

Abraham Maslow

By taking that brave step into the unknown (think of Anna as she sings this song on frozen…apologies if that song is now in your head), we take ourselves out of our comfort zone and into a place of growth. Fear seems to tag along for the ride when we step out, when we take risks, when we are brave. It’s all part and parcel of becoming who we are. The choice to be brave takes us to places we never dreamed of, being brave takes us towards achievements we only dreamt of.

     Being brave doesn’t mean we have no fear – it means we refuse to be overcome by it.

 Steven Furtick

Having brave feet that set decisions in motion may look ordinary, may look like regular work boots, stilettos or sneakers. However your brave feet look, remember only you can take the step, determine its path and be responsible for your growth. Own the steps you are taking. Don’t belittle the ordinary looking feet, taking brave steps – mine are often bare feet with sand between my toes, breathing in the depth of decision, and exhaling brave.

Where will your step of bravery take you today? What exciting, challenging opportunity will you take, just by taking a deep breath and taking a brave step. It may take many brave steps to get to where you are going, but take them,one at a time. Take them fast or slow, but keep growing and keep being brave. You can do it.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.

John F. Kennedy

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Victory

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Sometimes the most influential thing we can do is listen.

 Bob Burg
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Victory

#homesofvictory

Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.

Christine Caine co-founder of A21