Tag: connection

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Victory

In the quiet…

As a kid, my Dad would take me and my siblings to the beach almost every week. He would swim out behind the breakers with us – he would explain the tide, the current, point out the rips and show us where the best waves were breaking. He didn’t do this in a few sentences, he would do this between body surfing waves while we would be left to tread water. We never seemed to worry about Dad coming back to find us, he always did. We didn’t worry about how long he took, as we were strong swimmers.  Sure, other people worried about us; we would have other adults watch us curiously from a distance until Dad swam back to us. One time, even a lifesaver checked on us.

What this picture doesn’t tell you is, during the week we would be at swim squad, at 5.30am four days a week. We would swim lap after lap, do different training routines, even do sit ups on the side of the pool if we talked too much during training. We were being prepared and strengthened. We built resilience and became psychologically strong for the conditions of the surf. Our beach expeditions were not without dramas, we did get dumped by massive waves, we did get swept out towards the next beach, but the fear was reduced because of what we did quietly during the week, lap after lap in the pool. Building strength and resilience. 

When we look at others, and when they in turn look at us, we don’t always see the full picture. God does. You see he prepares us, in the quiet, in the stillness, in the times we draw near to Him, so that when we are taken out of our depths, taken out of our comfort zone, taken beyond the breakers, we have the strength and resilience – we have everything we need.

In this season of busy, joy, fun and for some disappointment and sadness, make sure you take the time to step out of the rush, step out of the busy and take time to be quiet. To be still, to reflect, recharge and wonder.

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The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority.

 Ken Blanchard
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“I am not an angel,” I asserted; “and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself.”

Charlotte Bronte – Jane Eyre
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When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel
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Never let the odds keep you from doing what you know in your heart you were meant to do.

H. Jackson Brown
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Influencers are not leaders, but leaders are influencers.

Richie Norton
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Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.

Judy Garland
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 May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.

 Nelson Mandela
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Victory

It boils down to choice…

This is by no means a place where we feel we know it all, have it all together, or are any type of expert. Homes of Victory for us, is not even about sharing opinions in a world that has way too many of those being blurted out from every possible platform. What we aim to do rather is start conversations – that lead hopefully in a positive way – to a shift in the way you do things, in a way you think about yourself and how you see your family.

At the moment, I am turning over in my mind, more and more the question of being busy. The question of how did I get to this point where I can’t even seem to find time to order groceries online. Ok so its not my favorite task and I am therefore not too motivated to do it, but none the less it is a task that need to happen – in order for my family of 5 to live.

At times, I think about what I need to get done in a week, or a day as ask why… why do I feel that I need to be doing all of these things. Why have I committed to these things in the first place and why can I not just slow down. It actually comes down to choice – would you agree? I choose what I commit to – and yes it is often way to much or far more than what is reasonable. ( I have high expectations of myself!) I can choose what activities my kids are involved in… I am even blessed enough to choose my work hours – within reason. So why then, do I see the lack of time, the rush, the tiredness, the never ending to do list as something of an obligation rather than a choice…

I actually don’t have an answer for that question. But one thing I would like to highlight, mention, suggest at this point is – Does my ( yours / our) busi-ness align with our personal / family goals and values? I need to reign myself in at times, because my love of over – commitment plays havoc with the values I have for my family – the ones where I value dinner time together, and value time together, value speaking life into my children (even when I am tired), the value of time with my husband – and continually learning more about him and how we can be a better team as we lead our family…

I know when my over- committedness – I’m pretty sure that is a word – tips my family values out of sync. The one thing I haven’t nailed yet – is knowing where my line of too much starts, and where my line of it’s all good stops. For everyone this will be different according to capacity – but what this will show is your ability to make good choices. I’m not sure about you but at my kids school – they are encouraged to make good choices – this seems to be the way they are disciplined – told to make a good choice rather than a bad one. We as parents, as family leaders need to remember that the outcome for our families, our marriage, our children is the a result of the choices we make. Whether they are seen to be good or not.

The thought I want to leave with you today is, don’t let life happen to you and spend your days wondering why you are so busy – with not a lot of time for what you want to do. Think about the choices you make to commit to things and the impact it has on yourself and your family. How do those impacts then work for or against your family values?

It may take time to think all of these things through, but take the time over days even weeks – their is nothing like a slight change in your week to make a huge difference to your family life.

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There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.

C.S. Lewis
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Before you act, listen. Before you react, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you criticize, wait. Before you pray, forgive. Before you quit, try.

Ernest Hemingway
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You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have.

Jim Rohn
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Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means. 

 Albert Einstein
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Victory

Consistency is powerful

In what feels like a long and never ending COVID season – the impacts of change, are being felt far and wide. I’ve spoken to people this week – who are anxious about keeping up with the ever changing restrictions – wanting to do the right thing, but are unsure about the restrictions that are in place. I’ve spoken to people who are locked down to the point, where the only way the teenagers in the home have ‘fun’ is swap the room they are working in at lunch time. I’ve spoken to families who are doing it really tough and those who are making the most of lockdowns and changing restrictions.

Though we face a season of let downs, changing landscapes, a need to keep going, their is a glimmer of hope – a silver lining. We have a choice to make when it comes to our behavior and consistency. We hold control over that. We are responsible for that. We essentially hold the gaming control when it comes to who we are and how we behave.

I must admit aside from everything COVID I am not as disciplined as I would like to be or imagine I should be. The idea of doing the same thing every day – like go for a walk, sounds nice in my head in theory, but when I do it, I get bored pretty quick and try to change it up. I grew up with my Dad being so consistent, and disciplined in his routines that I wondered if he found it boring… what I did learn after observing him year after year, is the progress he made, the slow and steady pace of consistency paying off over time, time and time again. He is now – still a very fit man, enjoying early retirement ( less the travel plans), he has a wide range of hobbies and interests because over time, he was consistent in his learning – consistent in expanding his interests.

One thing I would like to challenge you with, is – what is your consistency like? I am always trying to work on being more consistent with the simple things. Like taking the time to have dinner as a family – carving out that time daily. I am trying to develop a routine that works with my new flexible hours at work. What is it that you have control over, in this time of seemingly lack of control.

Think about how you can be more consistent ? How you can harness control over the things that you can control – like consistency and behavior. While not thinking about the things you / me / us no longer have control over – like when borders will reopen, and when can I plan a holiday that won’t get cancelled by lockdowns.

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Leadership

Apple Pie and Kindness

A week ago my beautiful Nana went home to be with the Lord. It wasn’t expected but equally not unexpected. The shock has slightly worn off, the practical thoughts have kicked aside the lingering sadness for now, while the fun memories and good times have trickled through my mind like a refreshing stream. Apple pie, peanut biscuit’s, chocolate slice, the sewing, the tea cups, the roast lunches, the love of flowers the list goes on.

She was a lovely person, a kind person, never said a bad word – kind of person. She was resourceful and stoic in her strength. She faced every season with a smile. Her heart full of kindness was shared with those around her through cups of tea, her baking and her love for her family and everyone she met. My Nana always dressed immaculately but it wasn’t her clothing that made her stand out, it was her kindness and loveliness.

If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

Roald Dahl

Like my Nana, I try to focus on the good so I am like sunshine to those around me. Although she isn’t with us any more, the warmth that comes when we think of her is more than enough. It encourages me to live a life warm to those around me, to be present and aware, to be kind and unwavering, to be even and thoughtful through every season life throws at me. It saddens me to think, that it has taken this experience of losing someone precious to realize, just how important it is to be who you are – to let the sunshine and goodness in us shine into the lives of those around us.

I may not be able to bake like my Nana, but I sure can encourage those around me with kind words and thoughtfulness.