Category: Victory

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Always…

We are basketball fans in our house, actually when I say we – I mean my husband is, and I grew up collecting basketball cards with my brother and loving the Charlotte Hornets purely because their jersey colours matched my netball uniform… Any way, the Lakers are a favourite team in our home and as the playoffs are in full swing in America, we thought it apt to quote perhaps one of the greatest players of his generation LeBron James.

always strive for greatness

LeBron James

At Homes of Victory, we couldn’t agree with this more. It’s not always about winning, or achieving, it’s about always striving – trying – making an effort. Whether your love of basketball like my husband or like myself – remember in life it is not always about winning but the process behind it – the effort – the thought behind every decision to grow and achieve.

What greatness are you striving for in your home? In your family?

What greatness are you striving for in life?

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Building Resilience

Resilience, in its finest form, is like wearing armour with our feet firmly planted, ready to do battle with the season we’re in.

When looking at the 5 pillars of resilience or what we as individuals can do to build resilience, these characteristics are very internal facing. They are: self-awareness, mindfulness, self-care, positive relationships & purpose. By equipping ourselves with these types of weapons and armour we will be better equipped to be resilient and remain resilient. I am guilty here of lacking in self-care… I tend to always focus on doing, rather than taking time out to just relax. You could say I’m good at burning myself out. I get bored when it’s quiet – can anyone relate to that? With time I am slowly learning to stop and take care of myself. 

What area do you need to work on to increase your resilience?

Another way to look at resilience or the qualities that work together to form resilience is known in psychology as the 7 C’s:

  • Confidence
  • Competence
  • Connection
  • Contribution
  • Character
  • Coping and
  • Control

Without some measure of these in our repertoire, we are not going to thrive in terms of resilience as well as we could. These skills can be learnt over time, and do take practice. With that said, we have added some practical ideas for ways to build resilience in yourself, your family and your home life.

Building Social Resilience:

  • Learn to communicate effectively
  • Learn to resolve conflict
  • Be present
  • Listen to one another
  • Care for one another
  • Look beyond yourself
  • Put yourself in others shoes
  • Learn to appreciate those around you and;
  • Use humor where appropriate

Building Physical Resilience:

  • Exercise
  • Participate in a sport or activity that stretches your fitness
  • Engage in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing

Building Mental Resilience:

  • Do not isolate yourself – stay connected to friends and family – those around you – even if you are physically isolated, do not disconnect from friends and family.
  • Ask for help when you need it
  • Be consciously flexible towards situations
  • Ask: What is your purpose and how can you fulfil this starting with everyday tasks
  • Learn new things – find things you are interested in and go through the learning process. 

Building Emotional Resilience:

  • Practice self-care – be kind to yourself
  • Learn to manage strong feelings
  • Be self-confident,
  • Be able to see the big picture
  • Pay attention to your own needs and feelings. 

Try some of these ideas this week and see how you go. Building resilience takes time and thought. It will also bring a greater capacity to see the world as a better place, and guide your leadership to a more positive mindset.

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Learning to lead using freedom

We’ve just had a week away camping at the beach. We feel incredibly blessed as where we live Covid restrictions have lifted to the point where we could do this, as it is our absolute favourite thing to do.

Every time we camp on the drive home we chat about what improvement we could make to the set up and experience. Bit by bit we add to our camping gear to make camping that little bit more organised, enjoyable and easier.

The addition to this trip was a set of walkie talkies… our kids don’t have phones ( they’re 10,8 and 4) and our camping trips are screen free as much as possible. We take bikes and scooters and love to give our kids freedom to ride, play and meet other kids so these walkie talkies were perfect. They allowed them freedom with boundaries. We could relax knowing we could contact them.

Reflecting on this camping trip we realized our kids had learnt some valuable lessons by being given freedom. All of which contribute to their developing leadership skills.

  • Confidence: They could choose where they went knowing we could still keep them safe and were available if they needed us. The walkie talkies gave them the confidence to be apart and meet up again as they chose.
  • Communication: This section was three fold. 1) The kids were able to communicate with us, when they wanted , and thought through the process before contacting us. 2) They communicated with each other clearly and decisively – as they were having too much fun to spend too long talking. 3) Having a communication tool on hand made them feel safe – while having the freedom to explore together or alone. The fun part was the kids allocated every one a bird name as our ‘ code name’ for the walkie talkies. It added humour and fun to the conversations.
  • Decision making – they knew the boundaries of where we stayed and knew to stay within them. They did explore further – but communicated that to us first. We showed trust in their decisions and they in turn displayed communication and trust.

Without even knowing it, they spent the week learning a different dimension to their current leadership skills. The freedom we gave them – along with the trust, gave them the confidence to do what they wanted to and explore.

Likewise in the workplace- we too can give freedom to our staff – possibly not with walkie talkies on a camping trip, but freedom within their role – as we observe mentor – freedom for some – opens up so many possibilities and will get the creative thoughts flowing.

What ways can you build freedom into your family life?

What ways can you build freedome into your staff?

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Be the best you can be until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

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Under the microscope: Resilience

Resilience is the talk of the town here at HOV this week. Considering the year we have had – personally, as a community, as a nation and globally, I am sure we can all relate to the quest for finding resilience and remaining resilient through prolonged seasons of stress, overwhelming situations and isolation. Resilience is not putting happy pants on and doing a dance then being ready to face the day with a plastered smile on your face, resilience is so much more than that. Resilience at times can be treated with contempt, as we wonder what next, in our stressful situations. Resilience, however, will offer us a look into the positive, could-be’s and may-be’s that negativity does not allow for. Resilience, in its finest form, is like wearing armour with our feet firmly planted, ready to do battle with the season we’re in.

We all have varying levels of resilience, at times we may feel we have bucket loads, other times, we wonder where we can find more… So, let’s take a closer look at resilience, and why it is necessary, important, and critical to our home life, workplace and community. 

Resilience is defined as:

1.    The power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched, elasticity.

2.    Ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like, buoyancy.

In your home, resilience is vital for several reasons as it enables us to develop ways to protect against experiences that could be overwhelming. Resilience helps us maintain balance in our lives during stressful periods and protects us to a degree from developing mental health difficulties and issues.

In the workplace, resilience is a key strategy to enable us to tackle stress, competitive job markets, workplace conflicts and address challenges and change. Learning to be resilient in the workplace is so important as we often identify work as the number one stressor in our lives.

In community, resilience becomes all about the recovery from adversity and how individuals / families contribute to that.In Australia over the past few years we’ve had our share of devastating fires and floods along with the rest of the world weathering coronavirus– it has been a mix of grief at the loss and devastation but also a joy to see how the communities affected rally together and inspire the recovery efforts.

So, how do we go about building resilience, staying resilient and teaching those around us how to be resilient? To answer this question, we need to look at the types of resilience and where our strengths and weaknesses lie. Once an awareness of our current capacity of resilience, we can then build on this foundation.

We all experience ebbs and flows of resilience pending the circumstances around us and its severity – we are a work in progress on this too. The idea behind building resilience and staying resilient is reducing the difference between the ebbs and flows.

Start to think about what impacts on your resilience? This will become a key factor when increasing your resilience and staying resilient through the long haul.

I know when my kids were little, lack of sleep played a huge role in how resilient I felt. I remember one night, making a sandwich for my eldest, my husband innocently asked what I was doing, and I burst into tears…. Not very resilient hey – the reality was I was living on four hours of sleep a night and his lovely well intended question pushed me to tears… it’s funny now, but when I look back, all I wanted was the strength to get through each day. Have you been there? Are you living this now?

Here at HOV we are not experts in this field, nor claim to be, what we are interested in doing is giving you some pointers to get you started and support and encourage you on the adventure of building resilience. 

Before we get into the how to build resilience, it is important to note that there are four different types of resilience we can build:

  1. Physical
  2. Mental
  3. Emotional and;
  4. Social

All four areas in our lives require some level of resilience, as we face major life problems, situational problems, daily problems and what we like to call micro stresses. The little annoyances that build up, or the ones we see when we are in a negative head-space.

Think for a moment and rate your level of resilience for each area?  Use a scale of 1 – 10. Where do you feel your strength areas? Where are your weaker areas?

If you are doing this with someone you are close to and feel comfortable – rate each other and talk about your answers. This is about growing and supporting each other.

Keep an eye out for the next post of under the microscope: resilience – in reality. In this post we will be looking at practical ways to increase your resilience and how to stay resilient.

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living the dream

In the rough and tumble of life, we found ourselves talking about what our 18 year old selves wanted to do, before the reality (ahem responsibility) of life took hold. The interesting thing was, although we had all of these dreams and goals at 18, some of which we have achieved, others that are still to come to fruition, we both agreed that if we didn’t have this, we would still want it. The ‘this’ was three kids tangled together sound asleep in our bed, toys, books, shoes, scattered over the floor, a ton of clean socks hiding behind a cushion on the couch and dirty dishes waiting to be done. We joked that even in the crazy, mess of home – we are still living the dream. The dream of having a family – although it looks far different in reality, the emotional rollercoaster, the lack of sleep, chicken nuggets, visiting of public toilets, the noise, the tears, the dramas, the fun, the laughter, the push me higher on the swing squeals, all of it – is really living the dream. When the drama reaches fever pitch or dinner time turns into a calamity, we try to smile and remind ourselves we are living the dream. By doing this, we actually change the mood – to a positive one – rather than respond to the drama with more drama.

What does ‘living the dream’ look like in your home? How close is your reality to your dream?

Is it something that you need to remind yourself of more often?

What changes could you make, to make living the dream, more of a reality?

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Tetris = next level resource allocation.

Working with resource allocation can be tricky, firstly working out the needs and wants, navigating the decision making process, communicating the final decisions and getting the team leaders on board to then be able to run with what they have.

During this season, creativity is entering into the most rigid of processes and encouraging ‘do more with less’ outcomes because of necessity. I have been pleasantly surprised by the significant changes, this season has almost forced upon workplaces and staff for that matter. Even though I have been personally impacted by reduced resourcing I am none the less impressed by the changes outworking during this season. The collaboration out of necessity, the shifting of mindsets,the ebbs and flows of decision making and project delivery methods. It is incredible to be apart of and also witness in the businesses around my city and the world.

In applying these creative methods to our home lives, it may be out of necessity due to reduced finances, or drastic changes in routine, it is interesting to note that out capacity seems to have adjusted and our mindsets have flexed also.

When allocating resources to projects and business as usual tasks I often visualise the game of Tetris. How should the resources fit to have the best outcomes. I must admit to needing some brain breaks lately to order my thoughts and have found myself playing Tetris. Somehow, while lining up the blocks, I am able to creatively work out the solution to the real life resourcing issue at hand. No longer, is it a game I played as a kid, competing to get the highest score, but now its gone to a whole new level of helping me work through resources allocation dilemmas.

What ways has this season forced you to be more creative?

Aside from the negative impacts of this season, what are some positive changes that have occurred?

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The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.

Steven Furtick
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When a flower doesn’t bloom , you fix the environment in which it grows not the flower.

Alexander Den Heijer
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make it interesting

I am in the throes of honing my negotiation skills using my three year old as my muse. Call her what you will, but the term three-nager springs to mind frequently. I do feel a little bit saddened by the fact that she can outwit me, even though I’ve already had two other kids to practice on. My third child seems to be overflowing with spark, wit and laughter.

One thing I have learnt, through her behaviour is the art of making something menial seem so interesting and exciting that I can get her to do what she was just saying no to, without her even realising. Her older siblings have cottoned onto my moves, and watching them negotiate with her is pure joy. Sometimes she wins, most times they do. I’ve taught them the art of distraction, and it works in the most amazing ways. She could be trying to use the computer while they are trying to use it for homework and as soon as one of them says, look a bird, she runs outside calling out “Where?”. She then spends time searching for birds, watching them, asking them if they need to poop… she is totally distracted. We have all learnt her currency and use it to our advantage.

Good management is the art of making problems so interesting and their solutions so constructive that everyone wants to get to work and deal with them.

Paul Hawken

Likewise I have been applying the art of distraction to my family as a whole. When the grumbling over chores starts, it suddenly becomes a game and we have a family champion. When getting ready for school is a drama, we beat the buzzer and all get into the car happy and on time. By making the mundane interesting, I am able to get my team onside and working together – yes at times it is draining, and at times, I just want them to do what they are asked the first time. But – the choices we make to lead, manage and influence combine to create the family life we have.

How can you apply the art of distraction and making problems interesting to your home?


What are your key negotiation strengths?


How do you involve the children in constructive solutions?

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Kid speak: yet…

My 8 year old came home the other day from school absolutely beaming. He was so excited to share with me a Ted Talk his class had watched. I took a double take when I heard Ted Talk, as growing up, all I thought about in primary school was which bike path I was going to ride on when I got home… any way, he was so excited about it, that he suggested after dinner we all watch it together.

The Ted Talk titled the mindset of a champion was by a young primary school age boy who learnt a valuable lesson – add the word ‘ yet’ – to the end of your sentences. Using it to aim higher rather than feel defeated. An example of this is, “I can’t tie my shoelaces… yet.” You get the idea. As we all snuggled in bed listening to this, I couldn’t believe how glued my kids were to this amazing speaker. As a whole family we learnt something new – in essence a simple growth mindset concept. One we could also apply it straight away. By adding ‘ yet’, to our sentences, it is beginning to change our language to be more positive – it also makes us smile when we can add it to each other’s sentences. Mind you, the kids are now saying things like, ‘We can’t go to McDonalds… yet’ with a big cheeky grin – nice try.

To sum it up, it may only take a lesson at school, or a moment of inspiration in your child, to make a change in your family. Encourage your children to share what they learn. We are thankful for this insight into our child’s day, but also grateful that we can integrate it into our everyday language. It has made us as a family more positive, and as we face challenges, we know know we can achieve it if we put our minds to it.

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Thank you Superheroes

Here in Australia it’s Fathers Day!

Thank you to all the Dads, Grandpas, Dads to be, uncles and brothers.

You are all super heroes – to your loved ones.

We honor you today for the special role you play in the lives of your family and friends! It wouldn’t be the same with out you.

To those who have loved and lost, may your hearts be reminded of the big bear hugs and the joy your Dad brought to your life- be it a little or a lot.

To our Homes of Victory Dads – you have taught us so much and so generously shared your wisdom with us. May we continue your legacy in the life of our family – showing grace and patience, bringing the fun and joy while leading and mentoring the next generation.

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Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.

George Sheehan
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All – rounder…

I was flicking through a book titled 50 leaders who changed history, by Charles Philips and came across the list of what the author identified as leadership qualities. Some of which I have not really considered prior, as I have only worked in the social science field. I am used to traits such as open mindedness, collaborative and leading by example – these are the softer (yet strong qualities) that do get things done. Adding to the list of leadership traits listed include being disruptors, combative and defiant type leaders. After reading through the short bios of each leader, it became clearer to me that their type of leadership whether with the hindsight of history, whether they were right or wrong, on most occasions their leadership style befitted the change in history they contributed to.

Mother Teresa for example – was a ‘lead by example’ leader, Margaret Thatcher was considered a ‘combative’ leader. Pablo Picasso was mentioned for his ‘innovative’ leadership style – he was credited with challenging the limits of art and bringing art into mainstream culture. This book is a fascinating read of leaders throughout the generations.

Reading about the various types of leaders and the particular style they were known for, I was challenged about my own leadership style, both in the workplace and at home. You see, we may know what type of leader we are in our own situation, but do we have in us, some of the opposite qualities to enable us to truly lead in all situations?

With that said, I am more aware of making sure the leader, I have worked hard to be, is not done growing yet. I need the capacity to be a disruptor – at the right time. I also need to learn more combative traits – to pull out at the right time. What about you?

When was the last time, you were challenged to adapt your leadership style? Did you have the tools at hand?

Take some time to give some thought to how you can become more well-rounded. There is nothing like being prepared for all situations…

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Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.

Stephen Covey