Category: Victory

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Victory

Habit Kickers

It’s that time of year when we are winding down, getting a little bit reflective about the year it was. Can I just pause here and emphasis the words ‘ the year that was’. No one could have predicted what would occur globally in 2020, nor could we have predicted the type of year we as individuals and families would have.

One thing we do, to take control in a way of life – is to set goals. Goals help us focus, help us navigate the noise of life and find success. Here at Homes of Victory we have shared often about goal setting, how your family measures success and living in victory. This post flips that concept on its head, as we start to reflect on the year that was, and look at habits we may have formed, habits we have quietly agreed to – habit unlike goals that may not be the best for us.

I know this year, I have been guilty of dropping the discipline a little by drinking way too much tea, eating way too much chocolate and cheese, and watching way too much Netflix while ignoring every type of exercise ( pretty sure I’m now allergic to sweat) and the ever-growing number of baskets of washing that needs folding… It doesn’t seem like much, but my thinking behind it, is a little dangerous/ unhealthy/ alarming… for want of a better word. I keep saying to myself, it’s ok, if I need to stop because I can and I will. It’s okay, I will start to exercise when I want to – I rarely do – well not like I used to. These habits cannot be broken by one thought – I’ve realized as time has kept ticking, the days have kept passing, that breaking my Covid habits may not be as easy as I would like it to be. 

Habits are one of those things that can be positive or negative. Habits – happen little by little. When my kids were little and I was trying to get them to sleep all night in their own beds, I read that after three nights a habit was formed. Never worked with my kids by the way… Another theory floating around is it takes 21 days for it to become a solid habit and another 90 days to become part of normal life. Either way, there are somethings about habits – whether positive or negative that we need to remember at this time of year – especially as we take time to reflect on the year that was and the year ahead:

Habits need:

  • Commitment to be formed and broken.
  • Time to be formed and broken.
  • Discipline to be formed and broken.

What habits have you formed this year that are positive?

What negative habits have you formed this year?

Think about the actions you need to take to make negative habit more positive? 

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Leadership is influence. Nothing more, nothing less.

John C. Maxwell

Who are you influencing today? Will your influence lead to confidence and bravery?

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Victory

Brave Feet

At times we come across moments in our life where we need to make a decision that may seem daunting, that may seem overwhelming, but at the same time feels right. Sometimes we just need to take a step, to the point where we can’t turn back and the decision is set in motion. Then over time the decision seems less impossible, less daunting and more incredible and more satisfying as you discover it was the right decision.

In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.

Abraham Maslow

By taking that brave step into the unknown (think of Anna as she sings this song on frozen…apologies if that song is now in your head), we take ourselves out of our comfort zone and into a place of growth. Fear seems to tag along for the ride when we step out, when we take risks, when we are brave. It’s all part and parcel of becoming who we are. The choice to be brave takes us to places we never dreamed of, being brave takes us towards achievements we only dreamt of.

     Being brave doesn’t mean we have no fear – it means we refuse to be overcome by it.

 Steven Furtick

Having brave feet that set decisions in motion may look ordinary, may look like regular work boots, stilettos or sneakers. However your brave feet look, remember only you can take the step, determine its path and be responsible for your growth. Own the steps you are taking. Don’t belittle the ordinary looking feet, taking brave steps – mine are often bare feet with sand between my toes, breathing in the depth of decision, and exhaling brave.

Where will your step of bravery take you today? What exciting, challenging opportunity will you take, just by taking a deep breath and taking a brave step. It may take many brave steps to get to where you are going, but take them,one at a time. Take them fast or slow, but keep growing and keep being brave. You can do it.

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Victory

Vision writing

Often as a leader, we set the pace for the team we lead and the direction of it through a vision statement. In the workplace the vision guides the team throughout the year and points to required outcomes and project deliverable . Writing a vision for your team can be time consuming and thought provoking as it sets the team up for a win and encourages the writing of goals and actions.

Stepping out of the business world for a moment and into the world of family for a moment, I want to challenge you with this question: Have you ever written a vision statement for your marriage or family?

As 2020 is drawing to a close, we are leaving behind unprecedented times, while what is to come globally for 2021 is also unprecedented and unknown, take charge of what you have control of and make your future, the best it has ever been for you and your family.

As parents – as a couple – what impact do you feel writing a vision for your marriage / family would have in your home? Would it be beneficial and set the tone for the year ahead?

Homes of Victory is here to support you and your family when writing a family or marriage vision. The family blueprint is designed to walk you through the process of planning your vision, encourage you to dream big and align it with your family values and goals. To see all the  Family Blueprint posts – select the tag below or check out the family Blueprint tab at the top of the page.

It’s never too late to write the vision for your marriage

Lisa Bevere
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Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!

Audrey Hepburn

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We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why. 

Stephen King
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Thank you

It’s been six months since we launched Homes of Victory. We have been blown away by your support and would like to humbly thank each of you. We truly appreciate the time you take to read and absorb what we have to share.

As we are all about families – supporting and enabling you to create the home life you want – we can’t wait to continue this journey with you. If you have any topic you would like us to cover please let us know. Likewise if you would like to be a guest blogger please contact us. We would love to hear from you.

Until then, share Homes of Victory with your mates and let’s encourage each other to live in victory.

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Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.

John F. Kennedy

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The first place we must win the victory is in our own minds. If you don’t think you can be successful, then you never will be.

Joel Osteen
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Victory

What are you fighting for?

Do you want to learn how to fight for your marriage rather than just fight in it? Start attacking the problems that arise rather than attacking each other.

Lisa Bevere

Sometimes we get hung up on the who and what and forget about the why. We can admit, that we have been caught in the cycle of ‘ attacking’ each other rather than the problems in our marriage. We have been there… but once we made a decision to lay it all out on the table, look at the issue not the person, the real issues were laid bare and the work of problem solving began.

Only then, were we able to start attacking the problems and issues in our marriage rather than each other. The thing is, it took a conscious effort to change how we both thought, it took time and calm to lay it all out, it took steps of peace from both of us, to start working on the real issues at hand.

Don’t let the little things, build into big things, where it seems like it’s gone beyond the point of no return. If communication is a problem – work out a better way to communicate, if busy is a problem – work out a way to adjust the busy, if finances are a problem – work together on finding a solution –get professional help, be disciplined, cheer each other on – rather than tear each other apart. If we have learnt one thing, on the journey of marriage – and boy we’ve had ups and downs – is this:

There is always a solution, you just need to find it.

Homes of Victory

You may have the “I love you but don’t like you days” – you may have the I’m trying to keep loving you days, but if you both keep taking steps towards peace and resolution – you’ll take your marriage to a whole new level of wonderful. Fight for what is worth fighting for.

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Victory

Tacos

We’ve just been through a time, where Mr 8, decided to eat every meal in a taco. I had absentmindedly put some leftover taco shells in a container and left them in the pantry… he found them, 5 in total. He decided after we sat down to dinner each night, to go to the cupboard and get a taco. He had spaghetti in a taco, pulled pork in a taco, a sausage in a taco you get the idea.

Why am I writing about this? This was a week where I didn’t battle my son, I chose not to feel defeated but rather went with the flow. Each night as I rounded up the kids for dinner (read cats that keep wandering off) I would wait with anticipation for the “ Can I please go to the cupboard?” question. I happily obliged, actually I chose to.  I chose not to argue, I chose not to worry about it, I chose not to spend energy on it, I chose perspective.

I had flashbacks of my Mum getting really upset when my brother would cover his dinner in tomato sauce every night. She would always say, “that’s not how I made it to be eaten”. It would annoy her and upset her every single time. I agree with her, and know the effort that goes into making a meal that the whole family will eat and the heart of it is, you want the whole family to enjoy it.

The thing is, we can all enjoy the same thing differently and there are things in life that are not worth the energy involved in getting upset or annoyed about. I needed to and wanted to see his love for Taco’s through his eyes.

Do you have a taco like habit? One that no one else agrees is good or nice or could possibly make you happy?
Do you, your other half or kids have a taco like habit that you can’t stand?
This week instead of a battle, choose not to, choose to see it from their eyes. Save your energy and put the battles into perspective.

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Sometimes the most influential thing we can do is listen.

 Bob Burg
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Influence and Persuasion part 2

In the last post on influence and persuasion we shared about influence and how we get to choose whether it is positive or negative. Today, we are continuing the conversation about how our words have influence also.

Peggy O’Mara states that:

The way we talk to our children, becomes their inner voice

Peggy O’Mara

What words are soaking into your kids hearts as you raise them? What words will then rise up within them when they face the trials in life? What influence will spill out of them as their sphere of influence grows? I know I want my kids, to hear the words in their heart saying to them, “I am loved”, “ I am good enough”, “ I can do this”, “ I am stronger than I think I am”,“ I am safe”, “ I am cared for”, “ I can tell Mum…”, “ I can tell Dad…” the list goes on. I may not always be there but I know my words will be carried in their heart. They will hear what I have said to them, ring true when the need arises.

For years, I saw the strength of my influence over my children, as a great responsibility and it is, but it was burdensome. Deep down I am a perfectionist and I wanted more than anything to be the best type of influence I could be. The burden became so great, that I probably, no definitely let my influence slip into the negative because I was so hard on myself. After reading this quote, and doing some soul searching of the most emotional kind, I came to realise it is not a burden but rather a privilege and like all things parenting I am never going to be perfect and get it right 100% of the time. 

In the end, we may not know how much influence we have, but what we will know is that we made the effort to influence for good.

I’ll leave you with this thought:

Leadership is influence

John C. Maxwell

Take time to reflect on the influence you have?

Do you see it as a responsibility or burden?

Think of times you’ve seen your kids behave in a way where you know it was your influence shining through? How does it make you feel?

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Victory

I wonder…

Here at Homes of Victory we love to share thoughts and real life with you. This was written by a career woman, who has three young children. She always questioned how to balance life and work, children and career. This is shared with permission and we hope it encourages you and inspires you.

Hey my babies one, two and three.

I wonder if you’ll ever know how much I love you. When the day dawns and the crazy begins I hope you see it’s love that motivates me. When we’re all tired but we need to keep going I know you feel the warmth in my hands when I hug you, the empathy in my voice when I encourage you and the pride that radiates from my heart.

I feel the guilt of work and yet another kind of guilt if I don’t. As I pick you all up after a long day I breathe you all in – one, two, three I miss you dreadfully yet worry I won’t find the strength to make it to bed time. I know at times I’m cranky more than I should be. I know at times I’m in auto pilot. I never wish time away but some days I only want my bed. I wonder if you’ll ever see that I draw my strength from Christ and no one else. I wonder if you see the love I have for you that drives me every moment to keep on going. I’d never quit, never thought to but some days I’ve had to dig deeper than I knew possible just to get you through the day and off to sleep peacefully.

When I hear you wake during the night it is love that draws me to your side. I sleepily step towards your room saying mumma coming it’s okay. My eyes are full of sleep but my heart is always about you my one, two, three.

If it’s a bottle, nappy or cuddle I’m right there. I wonder if you’ll remember my hugs with two hands holding you tight knowing tomorrow you’ll be that little bit bigger and that little bit older.

My babies one, two, three I wonder if you ever notice my long tight hugs. They’re more than just annoying they’re me holding you close to me. One day hugs just won’t be the same so I cherish each one. So much about you is hidden in my heart. Saved and savored. Every day you remind me to laugh and find joy in the little things.

Then, when I tuck you in tight and kiss you goodnight, you whisper with your eyes closed ,”I love you Mumma”. Then, and only then, do I realise, I have wondered in vain and I realise I have been too hard on myself. Forever I will love you one, two, three. Forever you will be my motivation, my joy, my completeness. It won’t matter how big you grow or how fast the years go by – I will always know my heart belongs to you on, two and three. I know your heart too, will always have a special place for me.

Love your Mumma Bear

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Victory

carve out time

It has been interesting how in the returning to some what normal, the busy has crept back into our lives – almost without us realising. One thing we have noticed in our home especially is that lack of time we as parents put aside for each other. Time to chat, time to hang out, time to relax. Time to invest into our relationship.

This was highlighted to us, in a conversation had with a health professional. We were talking about camping and she mentioned how she loved to go with her teenage kids. She kept mentioning ” we” so innocently, we asked who “we” is. The look of dispair came across her face, and she said, my husband and I are only just ‘ we’ at the moment. I work 12 hour days and we never get to see each other. We are trying to find time together but it is near impossible. She continued that they are committed to trying to make their marriage work, and not let growing apart be the reason they are no longer together.

How many of us, inch into that zone without realising, work, life, everything else seems to be ‘ important’ but we miss the real ‘importance’ of continually building relationships with those we live with, with those we love to do life with, those we have committed till death do us part.

Today’s encouragement is this: carve out some time to invest into those you do life with. It may be a 10 minute coffee, it may be a family game, it may be booking a date night – be proactive today and do something to show your committment to family, committment to marriage, committment to what is really important.