Tag: wisdom

Categories
Leadership

Manage & Lead

In the busyness of my household one morning, I found myself saying out loud to no one in particular “ Why am I always managing your things, put your own dishes away and pick up the mess”… I caught myself remembering a quote I had read at a business event.

you manage things, you lead people

Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hooper

No one responded by the way, so I guessed the other four occupants of my house were clearly not listening or interested in what I had to say. I continued to huff and puff around the kitchen in the bustle of a work / school day morning. Putting milk away, dirty dishes in the dishwasher, finding school lunch boxes, uniforms, wayward socks and whatever else needed doing in between.

We’ve all been there. Caught in the moment of feeling like the maid, the servant, the recipient of the ‘don’t worry Mum will do it’ award… I caught myself as I realized, I was managing the house, but I was also managing the people in it – not leading them how I planned to. Big difference with very different outcomes. So how do we lead the people in our home, when managing comes more naturally, when time constraints encourage the management of rather than the leading of, when managing is just plain easier than leading.

The question I felt I needed to go back to is “Why?”. Why do I want to lead my kids and not manage them? The how, to lead, will follow. The why for me is, I want my kids to grow up resilient, grow up with manners, grow up well rounded, grow up with the capacity to do life, basically to grow up and be amazing… Sound familiar? This all sounds nice in theory and in reality the practical outworking of a goal like this often comes to a grinding halt on a Monday morning… in my case, my reality check came out of the mouth of my 9 year old.

One evening while I was cooking dinner (in my work clothes as I had literally walked through the front door and into the kitchen to start cooking), she sat at the kitchen bench and looked at me. She said very matter of fact, “I don’t ever want kids”. I responded by saying that’s a bit sad kids are fun. She answered “Yeah but I don’t want to have to do everything like you”. Ouch. I must put a disclaimer here that my husband is very hands on around the home and is often in the kitchen or cleaning on weekends. I don’t do everything, and we encourage the kids to carry the load too. What I realised was, it was how I was leading,  without even realising, “ doing everything” is what my behaviour was telling my child. It wasn’t my words, it was my actions. Although that thought hurt, it was a truth bomb that I needed to hear. It made me realise I wasn’t focused on the “why” I want to lead my kids, or even “how” any more, I had compartmentalised chores and kids in separate categories. 

Coming back to the thought of managing things and leading people;

What is your motivation behind leading your family?

How easily does it drop off the radar for you?

What are some ways to keep it in the forefront of your mind?

How does the outworking of this goal happen in your home?

After the truth bomb dropped ever so eloquently in my kitchen that night, I decided to write it out and make it clear to myself what leading the people in my home should look like. How will I involve the kids, how will I carve out more time with them, how will I alter some of my actions, to make sure what I do matches what I say.

In the end I know that there is no perfect solution to the “how to”, but keeping in mind the why, and the desired outcome will keep me on track to achieving my goal of leading my people and managing things.  How about you?

What does leading your children look like for your family?

Do your actions speak louder than words when it comes to leading?

Categories
Victory

Who is the loudest?

This week has been one of opportunity and disappointment. Highs and lows all rolled into one. Both the opportunity and disappointment have been caused by the opinion and decision of others. We also received valuable unwarranted encouragement while also struggling to comprehend the knock back of a well-rounded argument for an amazing collaboration opportunity. It is something we have no control over. In the middle of a download about why the we felt disappointed, we started talking about the positives of the situation, how we were building resilience and that the encouragement came at the perfect time.

To put the brakes on the disappointment, we had an interesting conversation about making a choice about who and what we were going to listen to and to allow the disappointing moment wash over us as we continued on with our work. We decided in the moment to listen and remember the words of the encouragers rather than the naysayers. We would use the disappointment to form our determination for future opportunities. The choice we made lead for a brighter end of the week and lessons learnt.

The question I have for you in your situation is.. In your moment of opportunity or disappointment, do you choose which voice you listen to, or do you listen to them all? Chances are if you do,

The negative voices in your life will speak the loudest and linger the longest in your thoughts. Don’t listen to them.

Do you listen to the encourager, the naysayer, the ‘you can do it’ voice or the ‘don’t even try’ voice?  Only you get to choose which words stick and which ones you need to let slide off. Likewise, in your life whether at home or work, are you the encourager or the naysayer? Do you see opportunity or feel threatened by great ideas? Are you someone who enables another to thrive, or do you like to do all the thriving?

In life everything comes down to the choices we make and when. Make choices today the contribute to building others up, that encourage others while seeking to find the best solutions. Wouldn’t it be a better world if we all encouraged one another, gave constructive feedback, and had the capacity to see what others see in terms of their dreams and visions. 

Side note – May Homes of Victory be a positive voice in your life, may you see the passion and encouragement behind each post. Live each day making choices that lead towards victory in this season.

Categories
Victory

Tetris = next level resource allocation.

Working with resource allocation can be tricky, firstly working out the needs and wants, navigating the decision making process, communicating the final decisions and getting the team leaders on board to then be able to run with what they have.

During this season, creativity is entering into the most rigid of processes and encouraging ‘do more with less’ outcomes because of necessity. I have been pleasantly surprised by the significant changes, this season has almost forced upon workplaces and staff for that matter. Even though I have been personally impacted by reduced resourcing I am none the less impressed by the changes outworking during this season. The collaboration out of necessity, the shifting of mindsets,the ebbs and flows of decision making and project delivery methods. It is incredible to be apart of and also witness in the businesses around my city and the world.

In applying these creative methods to our home lives, it may be out of necessity due to reduced finances, or drastic changes in routine, it is interesting to note that out capacity seems to have adjusted and our mindsets have flexed also.

When allocating resources to projects and business as usual tasks I often visualise the game of Tetris. How should the resources fit to have the best outcomes. I must admit to needing some brain breaks lately to order my thoughts and have found myself playing Tetris. Somehow, while lining up the blocks, I am able to creatively work out the solution to the real life resourcing issue at hand. No longer, is it a game I played as a kid, competing to get the highest score, but now its gone to a whole new level of helping me work through resources allocation dilemmas.

What ways has this season forced you to be more creative?

Aside from the negative impacts of this season, what are some positive changes that have occurred?

Categories
Victory

Thank you Superheroes

Here in Australia it’s Fathers Day!

Thank you to all the Dads, Grandpas, Dads to be, uncles and brothers.

You are all super heroes – to your loved ones.

We honor you today for the special role you play in the lives of your family and friends! It wouldn’t be the same with out you.

To those who have loved and lost, may your hearts be reminded of the big bear hugs and the joy your Dad brought to your life- be it a little or a lot.

To our Homes of Victory Dads – you have taught us so much and so generously shared your wisdom with us. May we continue your legacy in the life of our family – showing grace and patience, bringing the fun and joy while leading and mentoring the next generation.

Categories
Blue Print

measuring success 3

I’ve worked in several workplaces, experienced and facilitated a range of performance appraisals. Apologies, I can hear you sighing already – but stay with me. At one workplace, I copied and pasted my answers to each appraisal question for seven years and no one noticed. In my current workplace, performance appraisals are taken seriously and actually contribute to motivating and encouraging staff. Performance appraisals often use stagnant criteria to measure success without taking into account the person, but rather just their output. I love conducting performance reviews as it allows me to connect with my team members, encourage them on a personal level and get to know their personal and corporate goals.

In your family, how do you measure your success? What kind of appraisal do you give your self? What motivates you? In all honesty, for several years our goals slipped by the way side and if we could bath, feed and get our kids to sleep we were winners. All too often though, we would flop into bed and ask each other if we felt defeated. Not a nice feeling.

One thing that we have started to do, is not only set goals that have easy to use success measures, but have found a way for our kids to appraise our performance as parents without them knowing. We’ve taught them to write cards to us every Christmas, birthday, Mothers and Fathers day. They need to tell us three things they like and why. At times the words out of the mouth of babes, have been a source of encouragement and joy. Its easy to be negative and think about what you could have done better but sometimes you need a little wisdom from the younger generation. Once my daughter wrote at the ending of her card that I was the best cook in the world. Hilarious, my cooking is mediocre at best – but not to her. If she sees the best in me, then maybe I should try to do the same. One time our boy wrote that his favourite time with Dad was at home. Nothing spectacular but it shows how he enjoys the every day. Another note we got was about how funny Dad’s, Dad jokes are. It showed us in the silly and the busy that we are doing okay. Our kids notice the little things and so should we.

Navigating success or the feeling of it where kids are kids, life is busy and no end seems to be in sight, it often feels like an ongoing negotiation where we just need to find a solution. I recently learnt that the reward for navigating one challenge is the next challenge. It doesn’t sound too inspiring does it, but in reality it is. The season of kids when working though what family life looks like with additional people in it, is often hard to measure let alone be seen as a success. I encourage you that as a family, learn from each challenge – look for the small wins.” I folded some washing today”, ” I was thanked for lunch today”. Once you start speaking the good, you’ll think of more good. See the good and it will flow into your feeling of success. This in turn will encourage you to keep on keeping on and setting goals and living the life you want.

Think about how your kids encourage you? What things do they say or do that really gives you an idea of how they see you?

List some things that you have learnt due to facing some challenges in the season of children.

Encourage one another as a family to talk about the good things that have come from the challenges you have faced. See the joy of overcoming challenges.