Tag: time

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Leadership

consistent & persistent

To be able to lead our family and especially our children there needs to be some grounding and basis for what we do. We cannot choose to do it one day and not the next. We are being watched by our children every day – on our good days and bad days and every day in between.

A few years ago we traveled with extended family to Malaysia. I remember being in a crowded food court with my two of my children and my mother in law. One child was having an epic meltdown, and really wasn’t coping with the noise, smell and crowds. I looked at her with questioning eyes, as I didn’t know what to do. She burst out laughing, saying the melt down she was witnessing was exactly how my husband would melt down 30 years ago… . She suddenly became serious and just said,

Be consistent and persistent

Rebekah

I felt like I was on the receiving end of an old Chinese proverb. It really struck a chord with me.

Her words have resounded in my ears every time, I don’t know what to do, every time my children have a meltdown, every time I want to stay in bed and pretend it’s still night time. I love these words as they are simple yet so true. Another way to put it is, just turn up. Be available for your family – I’m not saying literally be available 24/7 – balance is vital, but be consistent in your expectations and behaviour, be persistent in your responses and attitude and reap the benefits.

Even now, years after having those pearls of wisdom dropped in my heart, I do struggle at times to be persistent in discipline and consistent in my moods, but you know what, we are all a work in progress doing the best we can.

How do the words consistent and persistent resonate with you?

How could you show your family more consistency?

Is there a way you could be more persistent in certain areas of your family life?

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Leadership

a juggle or awesome logistics?

One thing that makes me a little cross are the words…how do you juggle work and kids – as a matter of fact any questioning along these lines… really makes me wonder why do ‘people’ think it’s a juggle. It always seems to be in a negative context with a sigh involved. I don’t know about you but I hear the word juggle and think of the circus, I think of a ball trick that is perfected over time to a point where the juggler may not even need to think about how to juggle, they just do. 

The meaning of juggle is: to continuously toss into the air and catch (a number of objects) so as to keep at least one in the air while handling the others. 

When I add myself to this scene – as the juggler – I start to chuckle. Usually I pick up any ball game easily but when it comes to juggling, no matter how many times I’ve literally tried to learn, I simply cannot conquer it. Now add children, career, family, friends etc.. into the equation and if each of these represented a ball I needed to juggle, they would all end up dropped one after the other. With all of that said, I believe I do a damn fine job of making sure my kids are loved beyond measure, where they need to be even if it’s at two places at once, friends are cared for, family is a priority and my career is given enough focus… I call it awesome logistics. Any mumma bear will tell you on any given day how many quick decisions with the potential ripple effects considered are made. 

So no I don’t agree that it’s a juggle, I chose to have kids. I chose to pursue my career and I choose everyday to make it work for everyone in my home. I may not be perfect, life may not be perfect but I give it a good crack. I also know that if I ever wanted a job in logistics I’d have some great experiences to share and skills to draw on. 

What are your thoughts on this? Does the term juggle come across as a positive or negative to you? 

In all the hustle and bustle of life do you feel like you juggle, or have awesome logistics skills? 

Take some time to ponder this. Write down the positive experiences you’ve had, making life work for your family.  We hope this makes you realise how amazing you are! 

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Leadership

Shaping leaders: Shimon Peres

I am a self-confessed people watcher. To the point when I’m out for dinner or with friends I like to sit where I can see the most action. I have been known to stop sentences abruptly, while watching someone walk past, fascinated by them. I have even been caught by my husband not paying attention to a conversation, as I am too busy wondering about the life of the person running past. To that end, I love history and learning from historical figures and making observations about the learnings or not of the past.

At times, I feel as a society we are not the best at learning and implementing positive change, from the learnings of the past, but alas we should try to.

Lately I have been engrossed in the autobiography of Shimon Peres, No room for small dreams,. He is a historical leader and important figure in the creation of Israel as the state we now know to be. While I purposely do not take political sides as I do not know enough to do so, for me it is fascinating to read about how his life was shaped and how that in turn it shaped his leadership style. I have pulled out many sections of this book and have learnt so much from such an experienced leader. Here is what I have learnt so far…

  • Trust is a key to leading. (and people are like sheep…. Just saying…)

I was assigned a job that was my first true experience as a leader – not of men but sheep. Yet there were striking similarities: a shepherd for example may have authority over his flock, but that alone does not mean he can control it. … we had to find a common language, a common understanding… I had to know their fears as if they were my own, so I could understand where they could not be led- or at least when I’d have to move with more deliberateness. I had to be both empathetic and insistent in stating my intentions – a figure they would follow, even reluctantly, if only out of trust.

Shimon Peres
  • The value robust discussions.

When he ( referring to another leader at the time) had been most frustrated, most intent on walking away, he remained open to the argument made by two young men, with a mere fraction of experience and wisdom. He had nearly given up on the larger debate, but he had not given up on his belief in debate.

Shimon Peres
  • Listening breaks down barriers.

Listening is not just a key element of good leadership, it is the key, the means to unlock doors that have been slammed shut by bitter dispute and resignation.

Shimon Peres
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Leadership

look for the good

I love Audrey Hepburn. When I get asked, if you could invite anyone over for dinner dead or alive, she is always at the top of my list. Her life intrigues me, her beauty inside and out is incredible, for me she is inspiring. I also love this quote of hers. It’s not only inspiring but challenging.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.

Audrey Hepburn

I am challenged, to make sure I have beautiful eyes, to have beautiful lips and to walk with poise. It challenges me, when my child stops to look at an ant on the footpath – do I see how late we are, or do I see the wonder in their eyes? Do I respond to my emotionally charged tween with kindness when all she is doing is spitting out words filled with misguided anger? Do I see the good in people I pass in the street?  Do I see the good in those I interact with at work? Those who pack my groceries? Those who forget to smile when the serve me because they’ve had a bad day.

The challenge for our day and every day is to lead by example and see the good in others and speak words of kindness. The kindness we speak may be the only kindness that person has had all day, week or month.

Once, when I was serving a boy who was around 12 years old at a public library, I helped him with what he wanted and he said thanks. I responded with “no worries sweetheart”. He froze and looked at me. I realised what I said and thought it may have come across inappropriately. All he could say was, “ No one has ever called me that before”. He walked away wiping his eyes. So many emotions pulsed through me in that moment, but I realised that my eyes saw the good in him and words of kindness are powerful. Likewise, when we choose kindness, we don’t go about finding fault in those around us, like so many do in our world. It becomes a habit to point out the positives and build up those around us. Oh! there is so much potential in our world, if all we did was say kind thoughtful words, rather than the first thing that pops into our heads.

How many people do you come across in a day, who may be lonely, sad, hurt, bitter… the list could go on. What kind words could you drop into their life? Will you make an effort to see the good in them, it won’t take much? There is always something good inside of everyone – at times we may just need to look harder to find it.

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Victory

Being Planted

In life we often celebrate the start, a birth, a business launch, a wedding – the start of something. In time we also celebrate an ending – a graduation, a promotion, a pay rise, final test results, a funeral. Just thought I’d ask, when do we celebrate the hard yakka that going on in between the start and the end?

The end though, is often the result of staying, of working through the challenge, of knuckling down and doing the long hours and hard work. The end is often determined by the ‘ being planted’ in the situation and sticking it out. Are we simply too busy or too occupied with ‘staying’ or ‘being planted’ that we forget to celebrate?

My father- in -law will often crack open a bottle of wine on a Friday night, saying, ” It’s Friday!”. No other reason, other than it’s Friday and in his mind, every week is a great week no matter what has happened or not. Lessons can be learnt from this. The positive thinking, celebrating the small things the list could go on.

What I am trying to say is, if you are in the middle of the ‘ being planted’ , or the ‘ staying’, the digging your heels in because you need to type moment, no matter how good or bad it is, remember to celebrate the good, celebrate your capacity to ride it out and work hard. Celebrate that this is only the middle and not the end. The end will come and a real celebration will happen, but don’t forget the now, don’t forget to see the good in the now. At times it feels like the good is hard to find, but it is there. Use this moment to remain firm in your challenge, to remain committed to seeing the challenge through.

Another way to look at it is, to value the courage it takes to do what you’re doing. You’ve celebrated the launch of a new business, and now it’s crunch time, the workload is increasing or you’re finding a way to increase the workload – celebrate it. Celebrate the courage you are using. Celebrate being brave when you’re not sure of the outcome. Value it. Hold it and use it to spur you on. Their is value in being planted, in staying in the hard times and good times.

On a personal level, project work suits me just fine, as I get bored and move on fairly quickly. In the season of now, in the season of lockdowns and the change of normal, I am learning the value of being planted. The value of seeing a challenge through. I am learning to like it, can’t say I love it, but I’m learning to value my courage and my staying power. I am learning that it is a good thing. (Even though I don’t really have a choice).

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Leadership

Proud in the crazy

Homes of victory as you know is based on encouragement, real life situations and of course building community. I need to admit that this morning was a trial of all kinds, and it really put me to the test. Our whole family has struggled with tiredness after we stayed up too late playing games. We set the week up for disaster without realising, as we were having too much fun. To make it worse, I’ve been a little unmotivated lately and flounder around when I should be getting everyone ready for kindy / school and work.

I was thankful that this morning I remembered to ask the kids if they had anything else they needed to pack for the day and although not totally unexpected, no one had actually done anything or thought about the day in any shape or form and as you know, we were suddenly running late.

To add to it, one child forgot an assessment they needed to hand in and only told me at the school gate after I had battled the kindy and school run traffic. I took a deep breath and put it all in perspective. This was the first time in six years of schooling that something had been forgotten. I knew that she knew it was her fault and I knew it wasn’t on purpose. It was just how it was.

In that moment, I chose to respond gracefully – in fact I responded far more gracefully than I expected myself to.  It was one of those hi-five yourself moments. I detoured back past home, back to school in the crazy traffic (what is it with drivers at that time of day), dropped off the assessment and got to work late – the first time in about 10 years mind you. I was unhappy about being late, as I am always on time every time, I was a little proud that I didn’t get upset and rant and rave as I would have in the past. I lead by example. I lead by putting the situation in perspective. I lead by staying clam and looking at the facts. 

I always tell my kids,

I don’t expect perfection, but I want you to do your best.

Leesh – Homes of Victory

I also, know that they expect that of me. Today I feel I out did myself and took a step up in terms of leadership.  I know that they will remember how I responded to that situation, and how I spoke to them. They will hopefully at some point reflect that in their life too.

Have  you had a moment, where despite everything going on, you chose the high road? A give yourself a hi-five moment.

What kind of moments have you had, where you were proud of how you lead your children? Lead your family?

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Leadership is the capacity to translate vision into reality.

Warren Bennis

In our homes we are leaders whether we think we are or not. Our little ones who may not be so little any more, can’t help but see us as leaders.

What is it that you see in your future? What step, no matter how big or little can you take today to make it a reality?

May these words spark something inside of you today, that inspires you to take your dreams and vision for your family and make it a reality.