Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!
Audrey Hepburn
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Tag: Management
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We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why.
Stephen King
It’s been six months since we launched Homes of Victory. We have been blown away by your support and would like to humbly thank each of you. We truly appreciate the time you take to read and absorb what we have to share.
As we are all about families – supporting and enabling you to create the home life you want – we can’t wait to continue this journey with you. If you have any topic you would like us to cover please let us know. Likewise if you would like to be a guest blogger please contact us. We would love to hear from you.
Until then, share Homes of Victory with your mates and let’s encourage each other to live in victory.
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Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.
John F. Kennedy
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connection
I grew up in the era of dial up internet – the one where you connect over the home phone line, the one where you got to hear it dial up and connect. It was probably the first time in my life, I realised how impatient I was, that was until these days when wi-fi doesn’t work how it should – that’s a whole other story.
As a kid I knew that the dial up sound, meant connection – to the world wide web. I knew that the connection needed to occur before anything else could. In our fast paced, internet reliant society, the art of connection seems to have been lost. We can text a friend, without asking how they are, we can rush through grocery shopping and not say hi to the cashier, we can scoot through school pick up and not even have to wave to anyone we know, we can even add comments online anonymously. Where has the real connection gone? I even question where has the desire for connection gone?
Sadly, it seems we are all somehow ever so subtly moving towards connection through devices and social media, emails and other group chats etc… Don’t get me wrong, the advancements in technology have greatly benefited the world, families and business, on the flip side though for these great advancements and benefits have come at a social cost.
Is lack of real connection one of the reasons, mental health statistics are increasing faster than ever before? Is it one of the reasons why families are crumbling faster than they can be built? Is it one of the reasons why kids are committing suicide younger and younger and depression rates for 15 – 25 year olds is through the rood?
How can we connect to each other in an already “connected” world? How can we disconnect from the technology around us, even for a moment, to simply connect with our loved ones and friends in a way that equals real connection. The type that fills the soul with joy, the type that encourages and uplifts, the type that fills the love tank.
Connection is needed on so many levels – in family life, in the workplace, in the friendship circles, in the village we are crafting for our children to grow up in. For the support during tough times and the celebrations during the good times – an emoji cannot replicate a real smile, a real high five, a hug or a shared meal.
What if we all for one day, put our tech away – not just on silent, but away, and really made an effort to connect with those around us? What difference do you think it could make?
Think about ways you could connect more with those around you?
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The first place we must win the victory is in our own minds. If you don’t think you can be successful, then you never will be.
Joel Osteen
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blueprint finale
Hooray! Congratulations! Well Done!
Here at Homes of Victory we are genuinely so excited for you and your family. We hope you feel more equipped, have grown closer together as a family and most of all had fun.
You should be so proud of yourselves that you worked through creating a family values statement, learnt more about yourselves and each other, set goals and created a family action plan. We would love to hear how it works for you and your family so drop us a line, you never know who else you will encourage to create a family blueprint.
Once again – whooo hoooo! You are amazing!
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What are you fighting for?
Do you want to learn how to fight for your marriage rather than just fight in it? Start attacking the problems that arise rather than attacking each other.
Lisa Bevere
Sometimes we get hung up on the who and what and forget about the why. We can admit, that we have been caught in the cycle of ‘ attacking’ each other rather than the problems in our marriage. We have been there… but once we made a decision to lay it all out on the table, look at the issue not the person, the real issues were laid bare and the work of problem solving began.
Only then, were we able to start attacking the problems and issues in our marriage rather than each other. The thing is, it took a conscious effort to change how we both thought, it took time and calm to lay it all out, it took steps of peace from both of us, to start working on the real issues at hand.
Don’t let the little things, build into big things, where it seems like it’s gone beyond the point of no return. If communication is a problem – work out a better way to communicate, if busy is a problem – work out a way to adjust the busy, if finances are a problem – work together on finding a solution –get professional help, be disciplined, cheer each other on – rather than tear each other apart. If we have learnt one thing, on the journey of marriage – and boy we’ve had ups and downs – is this:
There is always a solution, you just need to find it.
Homes of Victory
You may have the “I love you but don’t like you days” – you may have the I’m trying to keep loving you days, but if you both keep taking steps towards peace and resolution – you’ll take your marriage to a whole new level of wonderful. Fight for what is worth fighting for.
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Sometimes the most influential thing we can do is listen.
Bob Burg
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Influence and Persuasion part 2
In the last post on influence and persuasion we shared about influence and how we get to choose whether it is positive or negative. Today, we are continuing the conversation about how our words have influence also.
Peggy O’Mara states that:
The way we talk to our children, becomes their inner voice
Peggy O’Mara
What words are soaking into your kids hearts as you raise them? What words will then rise up within them when they face the trials in life? What influence will spill out of them as their sphere of influence grows? I know I want my kids, to hear the words in their heart saying to them, “I am loved”, “ I am good enough”, “ I can do this”, “ I am stronger than I think I am”,“ I am safe”, “ I am cared for”, “ I can tell Mum…”, “ I can tell Dad…” the list goes on. I may not always be there but I know my words will be carried in their heart. They will hear what I have said to them, ring true when the need arises.
For years, I saw the strength of my influence over my children, as a great responsibility and it is, but it was burdensome. Deep down I am a perfectionist and I wanted more than anything to be the best type of influence I could be. The burden became so great, that I probably, no definitely let my influence slip into the negative because I was so hard on myself. After reading this quote, and doing some soul searching of the most emotional kind, I came to realise it is not a burden but rather a privilege and like all things parenting I am never going to be perfect and get it right 100% of the time.
In the end, we may not know how much influence we have, but what we will know is that we made the effort to influence for good.
I’ll leave you with this thought:
Leadership is influence
John C. Maxwell
Take time to reflect on the influence you have?
Do you see it as a responsibility or burden?
Think of times you’ve seen your kids behave in a way where you know it was your influence shining through? How does it make you feel?
Here at Homes of Victory we love to share thoughts and real life with you. This was written by a career woman, who has three young children. She always questioned how to balance life and work, children and career. This is shared with permission and we hope it encourages you and inspires you.
Hey my babies one, two and three.
I wonder if you’ll ever know how much I love you. When the day dawns and the crazy begins I hope you see it’s love that motivates me. When we’re all tired but we need to keep going I know you feel the warmth in my hands when I hug you, the empathy in my voice when I encourage you and the pride that radiates from my heart.
I feel the guilt of work and yet another kind of guilt if I don’t. As I pick you all up after a long day I breathe you all in – one, two, three I miss you dreadfully yet worry I won’t find the strength to make it to bed time. I know at times I’m cranky more than I should be. I know at times I’m in auto pilot. I never wish time away but some days I only want my bed. I wonder if you’ll ever see that I draw my strength from Christ and no one else. I wonder if you see the love I have for you that drives me every moment to keep on going. I’d never quit, never thought to but some days I’ve had to dig deeper than I knew possible just to get you through the day and off to sleep peacefully.
When I hear you wake during the night it is love that draws me to your side. I sleepily step towards your room saying mumma coming it’s okay. My eyes are full of sleep but my heart is always about you my one, two, three.
If it’s a bottle, nappy or cuddle I’m right there. I wonder if you’ll remember my hugs with two hands holding you tight knowing tomorrow you’ll be that little bit bigger and that little bit older.
My babies one, two, three I wonder if you ever notice my long tight hugs. They’re more than just annoying they’re me holding you close to me. One day hugs just won’t be the same so I cherish each one. So much about you is hidden in my heart. Saved and savored. Every day you remind me to laugh and find joy in the little things.
Then, when I tuck you in tight and kiss you goodnight, you whisper with your eyes closed ,”I love you Mumma”. Then, and only then, do I realise, I have wondered in vain and I realise I have been too hard on myself. Forever I will love you one, two, three. Forever you will be my motivation, my joy, my completeness. It won’t matter how big you grow or how fast the years go by – I will always know my heart belongs to you on, two and three. I know your heart too, will always have a special place for me.
Love your Mumma Bear
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influence and persuasion
As a parent I know my persuasion skills have hit a new level. I feel I am now fully qualified to get what I want, when I want… most of the time without a tantrum from the kid involved. I do think it comes down to practice and by the time I reached the third kid, they know the look in my eye, when I just need to get my own way this time for whatever reason… any one agree?
I do wonder but, what my influencing skills are like and will I ever really know my reach?
In a nutshell, there is are subtle differences between the two words:
- Influence means the capacity to have an effect on the character, development, or behaviour of someone or something, or the effect itself.
- Persuasion means the action or process of persuading someone or of being persuaded to do or believe something.
When we influence our family it may come down to our mood and how we say things – who has had a child repeat a word the same way you say it? In my home at the moment, my youngest says ‘ seriously’. I know she gets it from me, and she does a good job mimicking me. It may come down to the type of words we choose to use – encouraging or not, how we speak about other people, do we gossip?, do we uplift? The list goes on. Everything we do and say as a parent has influence.
In the workplace, I love to talk to staff about their sphere of influence. What they do and don’t have influence over – how this impacts their work and them as a person. It is really uplifting when you understand, your sphere of influence and how you can impact others for good. I’ve seen staff flourish tenfold when they get it – really get it. They may not be in positions of leadership, but they certainly lead in their sphere of influence. It’s amazing to watch whole teams transform, when individual staff realise their sphere of influence and focus on what they can do rather than what they can’t.
At times, I just love to watch my kids interact with other kids and other adults. I watch to see how the behave when they think I’m not there. The smiles and pride comes when I see them do the things I’ve taught them and come to expect of them. Like my daughter holding the door open for another family at ballet, my son collecting the cones at the end of footy training without being asked, my daughter reaching out to a sick friend in an email to see how she is, those kinds of behaviours make me feel like I’ve done something right in terms of influence.
On the flipside, I have seen behaviours in my kids, where I cringe and think, oh no…, I need to remember to behave better myself next time. Like when I get a bit cranky on the roads and call someone an idiot… or when I’ve yelled because I think no one is listening, they yell at me when they think I’m not listening. Influence works both ways, it does not differentiate between good and bad…
Influence like words, is powerful, more powerful than we give it credit for. Unlike words where we can choose to say nothing, influence never switches off. Even our silence is a type of influence. Luckily, we have a choice to make about how we influence – in a positive or negative way. No one is ever going to be perfect, but we can try little by little to bring a positive spin to our sphere of influence.
I have worked extensively in customer service roles and I can still remember some customers who walk into a space and light up the room without saying a word. This is influence of the best kind. It uplifts and it brings joy. It also shows the power of influence in all its glory.
The next generation we are raising needs us, their family to influence them in a positive way. We need to be the loudest and most positive voice in the hustle and bustle of growing up. Too much of the world relies on the negative to fuel sources of conversation, to fuel the need to feel loved, the need to feel better about themselves. The children we are raising, already have influence and as they get older, the reach of their influence will expand.
Peggy O’Mara states that:
The way we talk to our children, becomes their inner voice.
Peggy O’Mara
Stay tuned for the second part of this post tomorrow. We have more to share on this topic.
What words are soaking into your kids hearts as you raise them? What words will then rise up within them when they face the trials in life? What influence will spill out of them as their sphere of influence grows? I know I want my kids, to hear the words in their heart saying to them, ‘ I am loved”, “ I am good enough”, “ I can do this”, “ I am stronger than I think I am”,“ I am safe”, “ I am cared for”, “ I can tell Mum…”, “ I can tell Dad…” the list goes on. I may not always be there but I know my words will be carried in their heart. They will hear what I have said to them, ring true when the need arises.
For years, I saw the strength of my influence over my children, as a great responsibility and it is, but it was burdensome. Deep down I am a perfectionist and I wanted more than anything to be the best type of influence I could be. The burden became so great, that I probably, no definitely let my influence slip into the negative because I was so hard on myself. After realising this quote, and some soul searching of the most emotional kind, I came to realise it is not a burden but a rather a privilege and like all things parenting I am never going to be perfect and get it right 100% of the time.
In the end, we may not know how much influence we have, but what we will know is that we made the effort to influence for good. I’ll leave you with this thought:
Leadership is influence
John C. Maxwell
Take time to reflect on the influence you have?
Do you see it as a responsibility or burden?
Think of times you’ve seen your kids behave in a way where you know it was your influence shining through? How does it make you feel?
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carve out time
It has been interesting how in the returning to some what normal, the busy has crept back into our lives – almost without us realising. One thing we have noticed in our home especially is that lack of time we as parents put aside for each other. Time to chat, time to hang out, time to relax. Time to invest into our relationship.
This was highlighted to us, in a conversation had with a health professional. We were talking about camping and she mentioned how she loved to go with her teenage kids. She kept mentioning ” we” so innocently, we asked who “we” is. The look of dispair came across her face, and she said, my husband and I are only just ‘ we’ at the moment. I work 12 hour days and we never get to see each other. We are trying to find time together but it is near impossible. She continued that they are committed to trying to make their marriage work, and not let growing apart be the reason they are no longer together.
How many of us, inch into that zone without realising, work, life, everything else seems to be ‘ important’ but we miss the real ‘importance’ of continually building relationships with those we live with, with those we love to do life with, those we have committed till death do us part.
Today’s encouragement is this: carve out some time to invest into those you do life with. It may be a 10 minute coffee, it may be a family game, it may be booking a date night – be proactive today and do something to show your committment to family, committment to marriage, committment to what is really important.
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Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried, but you’ve actually been planted.
Christine Caine co-founder of A21
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blueprint strategy
part three of creating a family blueprint
Congratulations you’ve made it through the foundation building stages. Now for the real fun – the strategy and action plan, the part that makes the foundation essentially a reality.
The outcome for this set of activities is to creation a family mission statement with a set of outcomes, with identified measurable actions. Easy… ???
Home of Victory will step you through this, to create the final pieces of your family blueprint.
Strategy part one: Family Values Statement = Vision Statement
A mission statement is generally 1 – 2 sentences that sums up: what you do and who you do it for.
Activity: Take your final set of family values from blueprint foundations 1 – and start forming sentences around those words. This will take time to perfect, but it will happen. Let it sit for a period of time and make changes as you see fit.
When you have both finalised the family values statement, share it with your children if they are an appropriate age… ours were more than willing to ask questions and agree. Their involvement will encourage you all as a family to work towards a common goal and use this statement as a foundation for future decisions.
If you feel comfortable please share your family values statements – you never know what encouragement you can provide others.
Here is our family values statement. We started with the words, We see… As we are speaking into the future of what our family will become, as we are certainly not there yet.
We see a family that seeks to draw out the best from each other and in our community giving all the glory to God. We see a family that understands our imperfections and are willing to work through them together. We see a family that travels the world, learning and sharing with people from all over the planet. We see a family that impacts local and global communities to experience true joy, peace and health.
Homes of Victory 