Homes of Victory
This conversation happened in the car and I am so thankful the kids couldn’t see my face…
Lalee(L):“ Mum can I ride a kangaroo?”
Mum(M): No darling you can’t”
L :“ Can I when I’m bigger?”
M:“ No darling, no one rides Kangaroos”
Moe (M):“ I bigger”.
L:“ Can babies?”
M:“ No – kangaroo’s backs are not strong enough to have people ride them”
L:“ Oh…. I know who can?”
M:“ Who?”
L:“ God can”
Trying not to laugh I asked why…
L: “He has no bottom.”
M” I bottom”.
Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.
Charlotte Brontë, author of Jane Eyre
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
General George Smith Patton, Jr.
I love the mind of a child. I love watching and learning. At times I ask my children to do something, and the way they do it is rather surprising. As adults we can assume that children know how to do it the way we want it done, without telling them. Other times, we are perplexed why they don’t know how to do something we’ve shown them ten times over.
An example of this, is a recent three day screen ban in our home. I won’t go into why the ban was put in place, but what I will say is be prepared to follow through on a threat – even it is causes you pain! Any way, on day one, when I was told, “I’m bored”, ” I don’t know what to do”. The resounding response was go outside and play. We are very blessed with a back yard, and in that yard we have a grassed area big enough to kick a ball and gardens filled with native plants and a mature mango tree. Before I knew it, my two eldest children were designing a treehouse, they were pestering my husband for use of a drill and had called their grandpa and organised for him to bring over some items they needed to build it. Within the three days, a basic tree house was built. No screens, no fights, no tantrums, no disobedience. Plain and simple – getting along, communicating, teamwork and fun.
They surprised me no end, and I was very proud how they copped the ban on the chin, and focused on what they could do, rather than what they knew the couldn’t ( or rather were not allowed to do)
Sometimes, we need to remember in life, we don’t need to over complicate things, by adding the ‘ how’ into every conversation, but rather take a deep breath – ask, tell, direct, whatever the basic instruction maybe – and let the how take care of itself.
We thought we would add some fun to Homes of Victory this year. At times we can overthink, how we parent, how we are as people and how we can always be just that little bit better.
What sparked this new series called Kid Logic, was a big clean out – yes Marie Kondo style over our summer. During which I found a whole heap of notes and stories I had written down about the kids when they were younger. The smiles it gave me and the laugh out loud moments I captured – need to be shared… why?
So you know that we know parenting is interesting, parenting can be frustrating and parenting is an experience like no other.
For privacy – I’ve called the characters (aka my kids) Lalee, Moe and Sparkie. You’ll see their personalities shine, you’ll relate the them and us, but most of all we hope you enjoy and remember we are living the dream… even if it looks a little different to what we imagined…
Lastly, please share your kidlogic moments with us – we would love to hear all about them.
Anytime, someone gives you advice, rethink if it will lead to personal progress.
LailahGiftyAkita, author of Think Great: Be Great!
Nothing gets stronger without resistance.
Steven Furtick
In leadership, nothing provokes frustration like resistance. We all have ways of working around it, like change management, innovation, the like it or lump it mentality – the list goes on. May I add here, when parents face resistance from their offspring, many of these work arounds occur too… including ignoring and hoping it goes away…
When we look at resistance in term of lifting weights or exercising – resistance shines in a positive light. When we face resistance we get stronger. When we continue to face the resistance the resistance reduces – as our strength increases.
The question I pose is this – even though resistance in whatever form it comes, can be frustrating – can it also contribute to growth?
We all have that person in our lives, that makes it a little difficult, one where we try to work with them, try to collaborate with them, try to make it the relationship better- sometimes the resistance will always be there – but sometimes it will be the thing that makes us a better person.
I can’t help but put this example in here, I love my kids so much. One thing I have come to realise when I compare them to others ( we try not to but you know it happens) that my kids are not compliant. I mean, not compliant by any means. They are good kids, they do behave well but they are questioners. When I was a kid, I was satisfied when I questioned and got the answer “because I said so” – who agrees right – some times as parents we just say so.
Oh no, not my kids. They question, and negotiate, fuel the conversation with more resistance, add more curiosity and at times it never seems to end. To be honest – I love this trait, we have raised them to be curious and to question – but sometimes I just wish they would accept the answer “because I said so.” With that said, the resistance over the years – and I mean that with kindness, the curiosity we have encountered, the long into the night conversations about the name of the bone in our nose… we know we are definitely more intelligent, more prepared for conversations and know what to expect. In this instance, resistance has made us stronger.
What type of experiences have you had where resistance has made you a better leader? Better parent? Better person?
The most influential of all educational factors is the conversation in a child’s home.
William Temple
As parents prepare for the school year ahead (in Australia), one thing to remember and hold close is, we as parents are our kids first teacher. They look to us for everything – unconditional love, guidance, discipline, growth and development. What words are you speaking into your child’s heart – no matter if they are 1, 10 or 30… What conversations do you have as a family about other people, about the world we live in. These are critical to their education – make them positive, make them a special part of their day, use it to learn together, be curious together and most of all grow together. That’s how families living in victory are made – together.
In my home we love watching AFL and Rugby League – suffice to say we love football. What I do love to watch is the coaches barking orders during the game and watching the emotion of the game – the highs and lows on their faces. This is only a tiny window in to the work of the coach – the time the effort and energy they put into their team. The aim of the coach is to make their team the best – the best in the competition. To do that, each individual player needs to be their best, on top of their game and contribute to the team as a whole.
As leaders, whether in our work life or in our homes, it is our responsibility to develop those around us to succeed, and to prepare them for their future roles. When my children start to argue about the disciple or rules in our home, more often than not I reply with – “ It is my role to turn you into a good adult…” We are their coaches, their mentors, their supporters, their cheerleaders.
I am sure we could all name and shame a leader in our working life who is not a coach and makes no effort to be a coach. The one thing I’ve learnt from that kind of leader is what not to do. Let’s make an effort to be generous with our skills, develop those around us, encourage them to flourish in their own skill sets and prepare them for their future.
Not only will our own children benefit from this attitude in our homes, but those in the workplace who look up to us, whether we are in a leadership position or not – will benefit.
The most important key to successful leadership is your ability to direct and challenge the very best that is in those whom you lead.
Anonymous
Our words often frame who we are and how those around us see us and are influenced by us. Our words are so powerful. On my first day back at work for 2021 I was challenged by a work mate who simply asked me ” What is your word for the year?” It wasn’t something I had ever really thought about. I often think of words and their definition and how I live by them – but I have never decided upon a word for a year. My lovely work mate, shared her word for 2021- positive. She wants to see life in a positive frame, rather than the fear she felt she had during 2020. I love this concept, and the responses from other staff really encouraged me and showed me that at times we may not need a new years resolution or new year goals, but rather a new way of thinking, a simple word to hold onto.
The question I now ask, is do you have a word for the year?
I’ll share mine – although these two words have been my word of the year in a way for many years.
The two words I love most are enable and empower. These two words tucked away in my heart – determine how I see the world, how I see what I do and how I interact with those around me. These words are so powerful many ways. I’ll give you the definition here to add context to the power of these two words:
Enable: to make able; give power, means, competence, ability to // to make possible or easy // to encourage or support
dictionary.com
Empower: to give power or authority to
dictionary.com
For word nerds like me, both of these words are verbs – action words. They represent something that is done. (I’ll never forget the ROTE learning of ‘ a verb is a doing word’). I personally love these two words and aim in my home, workplace and world to enable and empower those around me. If I can give just a little encouragement, a little power through my support, increase the confidence of those around me to achieve their goals – I feel my job is done. If I can be generous in unexpected ways to enc0urage or support, if I can make a way for goals to be achieved, if I can cheer you on to give you authority over your fears – then my job is done.
I hope this encourages you and inspires you to think about a word that you would like to hold onto this year, a word that represents the year you aim to have – despite the circumstances around us.
Ler us know in the comments your word of the year – we can’t wait to hear what they are!
I am amazing at thinking about goals, spending time writing them succinctly and then rarely achieving them. I think I am more addicted to adding the checkbox next to my thoughts than the actual task of doing what I set out to do. Don’t get me wrong, I do achieve goals and am happy with how I am tracking, but if you were to see my list of somewhat outrageous goals, you shouldn’t be surprised to see that about 40% go unachieved and will probably never be achieved. I am okay with this – for now.
I feel at this point I have the habit of writing goals I just need to work on the second half of the idea of actually achieving them! One thing I will say on this is, one of the Dad’s from Homes of Victory, sets a new goal every birthday – one where he can look back at, on the next birthday and see a difference. His aim is to build a habit out of the achieved goal as the year progresses. I must say he is very disciplined and the changes have been visible. They start off as goals and evolve into habits.
The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.
Og Mandino
I am encouraging you ( and myself) to develop more than just a new years resolution. I am encouraging you to set an achievable goal or goals that throughout the year become habits. Don’t let the simplicity of it, seduce you into turning your goals into bigger and better, becoming too big to manage and eventually never achieved.
Make setting achievable goals – your goal for 2021. Even if you only achieve one goal all year – it is better to achieve one goal, than none at all.
Happy New Year! What an exciting year 2021 is set to be. We can’t wait to see how this year unfolds.
We thought we would share, a beautiful image of summer in Australia. We have followers from all over the world, and one thing we love here at Homes of Victory is taking time out to recharge – and our choice of destination in summer is the beach. For those you in the middle of winter right now, we hope this warms your heart.
May we all remember this year to plan to recharge and include it in our family habits.
Thanks for tuning into Homes of Victory 2021, we have some exciting things in the pipeline to encourage you and support you as families.
Enjoy the start of the brand new year!
We’ve had a whole heap of new followers lately – hello and welcome to Homes of Victory.
I’m Alicia and I’m one of the co-founders of Homes of Victory. In real life I can be a little shy, but when I write the whole creative process turns me into a completely different person.
So when I was asked to share a little more about myself here at Homes of Victory – I firstly went blank, but then I thought I would invite you in and give you a glimpse into my world.
In a nutshell, I am a mumma bear to three incredible kids who challenge me to be a better person every day. I married my sweetheart fifteen years ago and have enjoyed the adventure ever since. As a family we strive to encourage, be generous and always be on the look out for the next adventure.
Homes of Victory was developed out of many conversations I had over a period of year with friends, acquaintances and strangers. The common thread to me was two fold – without encouragement it is easy to give up, and many of us parents don’t realize other parents experience the same sorts of things – some just hide it better than others.
In case you haven’t noticed, I love people and family. I also love being a leader of people, a manager of things, being creative and especially being encouraging to those around me. The Homes of Victory platforms allows me to do everything I love.
I am so thankful for your support and ongoing kindness. Here at Homes of Victory we cannot wait to see what the rest of the year brings.
Patience is a conquering virtue.
Geoffrey Chaucer
The thing about patience is, you can only learn to be patient by being patient. Patience is a skill and an art all in one. Growing up, us kids knew when my Dad was being patient, he would clear his throat. As though he was just giving us a little time to start behaving, as we knew better, or waiting for us to say what we needed to say or a little time for him to choose his words wisely. His leadership in this area, has impacted the way I do things. Granted I am not as patient as him, but I try to allow time to pass before making decisions, before correcting my kids, before doing most things. Patience allows time – time for strategic thinking, time for clear evaluation, time for things to settle on their own, time for things to work out. Demonstrating patience in the workplace and home, shows strength. The key is to know when patience or action is required.
Patience is the companion of wisdom.
Anonymous
We are a dynamic parenting duo with three incredible kids in our lives. We have embarked on diverse careers paths including project management, product design, program coordination, innovation economy development and leading people at the same time as building a family while continuing our careers. Along the way we somehow lost sight of the goals we had before parenthood, we lost sight of who we are as individuals and as a couple, aside from children. After a couple of years of intense stress, we stopped to take a deep breath and set aside time to reset due to the growing realisation that if we didn’t make the necessary adjustments, we could risk losing each other and everything we had dedicated to achieve. Now we want to support those of you experiencing similar challenges and changes that comes with having children. We are focused on supporting parents in the season of kids (of any age), we get that it can be joyful, overwhelming, exciting, scary, eye opening and downright hard. Join us on this adventure, that in one sense is living the dream and in another sense so crazy and wild that we wish we could press the pause button… just for a minute.
Homes of Victory