Tag: kindness

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Blue Print communication

The Whiteboard

Some times as a leader ahem parent, leading multiple people whether they are three years old or thirty three it can be a difficult task. Different opinions, different values, conflicting behavior standards the list goes on. At times we need to stop and as a leader take our team back to the drawing board so to speak and nut out the issues.

In our home, we now have a whiteboard, as we needed to introduce something subtle that would stop the lack of listening and the lack of -not-admitting emotions. ” I’m not tired!”, ” I’m NOT angry!”. You know how it goes, with tired and emotional children… and at times parents.

So how is a whiteboard helping the family with listening to each other? It actually isn’t. What it does do is, it stops us from speaking ( read repeating questions multiple times) and allows us to communicate through the board. It is an additional communication tool, one that has taken away our frustrations and enabled the kids to vent theirs by allowing their creativity to flow. No longer is it the kids trying to articulate words about how they feel, they know they can draw, write or talk to us in the moment of cranky, tired, hangry the list goes on.

When we installed the board we all sat and talked about how it will be used and why we felt we needed it as a family. Needless to say the two older kids love it and use it for its purpose – most of the time, the five year old has now finally lost interest in drawing all over it. Although we have enjoyed looking at the attempts made to draw multiple minions…

We have drawn icons for who is doing what task- an easy visual reminder of allocated chores, we have a table for feelings – happy, sad and tired. We can all tick off how we feel at the end of the day and chat about it at dinner time. One day I even wrote on the board, ” stop fighting” – aimed at the kids. They ran over to see what I had written and within minutes were writing funny responses and the tension had dissipated. We use respectful language on the board, we write quotes that inspire us, we write ” to do” lists and we leave love notes for each other. It has been a welcome addition to our kitchen and the family response has been amazing.

This may or may not work in your family life, but this brain wave from my husband has certainly made an incredibly positive difference in our home.

Take some time this week, to think about how you could adjust or add something small to your family home, that you believe will make a positive difference to your family life.

Categories
Leadership

#homesofvictory

When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.

Abraham Joshua Heschel
Categories
Leadership

Apple Pie and Kindness

A week ago my beautiful Nana went home to be with the Lord. It wasn’t expected but equally not unexpected. The shock has slightly worn off, the practical thoughts have kicked aside the lingering sadness for now, while the fun memories and good times have trickled through my mind like a refreshing stream. Apple pie, peanut biscuit’s, chocolate slice, the sewing, the tea cups, the roast lunches, the love of flowers the list goes on.

She was a lovely person, a kind person, never said a bad word – kind of person. She was resourceful and stoic in her strength. She faced every season with a smile. Her heart full of kindness was shared with those around her through cups of tea, her baking and her love for her family and everyone she met. My Nana always dressed immaculately but it wasn’t her clothing that made her stand out, it was her kindness and loveliness.

If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.

Roald Dahl

Like my Nana, I try to focus on the good so I am like sunshine to those around me. Although she isn’t with us any more, the warmth that comes when we think of her is more than enough. It encourages me to live a life warm to those around me, to be present and aware, to be kind and unwavering, to be even and thoughtful through every season life throws at me. It saddens me to think, that it has taken this experience of losing someone precious to realize, just how important it is to be who you are – to let the sunshine and goodness in us shine into the lives of those around us.

I may not be able to bake like my Nana, but I sure can encourage those around me with kind words and thoughtfulness.

Categories
Leadership

Courage to put yourself first… in a good way

In the rhythms of my new workplace -of which I have now been at for 6 months – I can’t believe how time flies – the one thing I love about it, is the encouragement of self-care. We all run at a fast pace from week to week, and the first question asked at our last team meeting was – What are you going to do over the next 3 months to look after yourself? This question was asked before our planning took place, before all of the details of the next 3 months were spread out – like a clogged calendar of work… I wish to highlight at this point – this question was asked at the start of the meeting – not after all of the work was laid out and self-care was forced to slip in somewhere, maybe along the way if possible. No, it was first. It needs to be priority. We had some laughs as we went around the room, about how we all intended to self-care – answers ranged from booking annual leave to watching the Olympics – while trying to not get too tired to planning work flows better so it’s not overwhelming.

Recognizing the need for self-care in a way that you as an individual needs it– is becoming more common in the workplace – so too is empathy and all sorts of other emotional tools that we can use to relate better to each other, work better together, achieve greater goals, and ultimately become better individuals.

Bene Brown aptly states that:

It takes courage to say yes to rest and play in a culture where exhaustion is seen as a status symbol

Brene Brown

What status symbol are you chasing?  Have a good think about it, What is it that you are chasing? My question to you is why? After why, I’m going to ask again – why?

I’ve struggled over time with this question of:  What I am chasing and the reason behind it. I’ve struggled with the question of what am I sacrificing to chase, what am I gaining – it’s has to be more than the thrill of the chase. Keep asking yourself why – until you are satisfied with the answer. If all you are getting at the end of the day is exhaustion at the expense of rest and play – ask yourself, is it really worth it?

Categories
Victory

Puppy Power

So we have joined the puppy bandwagon. After listening to the pleas and a 30 minute power point – yes you read correct – aimed at convincing us to say yes to a new family member – we finally caved.

Say hello to Scout. Cute to look at and puppy like in every. single. way. The interesting thing about introducing a pup into the family – is the ”not yet trained” part. The kids especially my youngest cannot understand why the pup is not sitting when asked, not shaking hands or even listening to when her name is called. All of these things and more need to be learnt. We as humans need to learn things, we begin learning the minute we are born. Our brains are so incredible. Trying to explain to the kids, how the pup is untrained, and unknowing has been an interesting process. These conversations have been met especially by our youngest with questions like “why not”, “how can I teach her” and her simply repeating herself until the pup loses interest and runs off…

How many times in our lives have we come across people ahem others, who are ‘untrained’ or not trained yet like my pup? (Rest assured she is going to puppy school!) When we come across those in our lives who don’t know what they don’t know – how do we treat them? How do we perceive them? Do we give them grace, the same way we give an untrained pup? Do we use patience and care to teach them, show them, mentor them, encourage them?

So here lies the challenge – we all have areas in our lives that we don’t know what we don’t know… How will we respond to those who show us our blind spots – the areas we need to improve ( be trained in)? Likewise how will we treat those who like us, have blind spots? The answer I dare say is with kindness, grace and a whole lot of patience.

What are your thoughts on this?

Categories
Victory

But… I Dreamt Big and Worked Hard

Over the last few months, I’m sure you can agree, that life hasn’t been what we’ve expected. What we planned 2020 to be. What we imagined our business, our home life, our everything to look like. This week, I was talking to a friend who lives on the other side of the world with two children, she told me that although she loves to plan, and dream and plan some more, she hates being disappointed when things don’t turn out the way she expected. This isn’t a control thing, in her case, it’s a ‘ but I dreamt big, worked hard’ and it still didn’t happen. 

Another sobering conversation we had this week with some friends, was the impact COVID was having in their circle of influence, those they have built multiple companies with, those they work with closely. The impacts have ranged from being hit so hard with the unexpected that decisions based on the now are being made like divorce or worse. In comparing the conversations, the whole ‘ I dreamt big, worked hard and it didn’t happen’ feeling of disappointment resounds. It impacts everyone, from Mums and Dads, to corporate highflyers and everyone in between. I believe this season has impacted every person – somehow. How has it impacted you? Your family? Your friends? 

How often during this season, have you felt like, everything you’ve worked for, dreamt of and even at times achieved is simply gone? 

Hold that thought, now I challenge you, to write down all your achievements – go back as many years as you like, then, balance that against your dreams. Are you encouraged by what you’ve achieved? Are you still dreaming? Keep it up – look forward. 

Homes of Victory implores you during this unsettling, full to overflowing time of the unexpected that you take stock of what really matters in your life. Those plans you had, may need to go on hold, or morph into something more spectacular. Remember life is not what we own, wear, or do. We influence those around us, more than we can imagine. Seek assistance when and if you need to. We’ve been finding that although we feel we don’t need professional help at this point, we have been catching up with the encouragers and positive people in our lives, to boost us and to inspire us during this season. 

Who in your network inspires and encourages you? Who do you inspire and encourages? It may be the perfect time to catch up and talk about this season. You’ll gain perspective and hopefully a smile. 

We may feel that our world is crumbling , but one thing remains –  who we are in terms of character and integrity. It may be the time to take a long hard positive look in the mirror. This season will not last forever, this season will change us in ways we didn’t expect, let it change you for the better, learn the lessons of this season, they will not go unused in the future.