In my home we love watching AFL and Rugby League – suffice to say we love football. What I do love to watch is the coaches barking orders during the game and watching the emotion of the game – the highs and lows on their faces. This is only a tiny window in to the work of the coach – the time the effort and energy they put into their team. The aim of the coach is to make their team the best – the best in the competition. To do that, each individual player needs to be their best, on top of their game and contribute to the team as a whole.
As leaders, whether in our work life or in our homes, it is our responsibility to develop those around us to succeed, and to prepare them for their future roles. When my children start to argue about the disciple or rules in our home, more often than not I reply with – “ It is my role to turn you into a good adult…” We are their coaches, their mentors, their supporters, their cheerleaders.
I am sure we could all name and shame a leader in our working life who is not a coach and makes no effort to be a coach. The one thing I’ve learnt from that kind of leader is what not to do. Let’s make an effort to be generous with our skills, develop those around us, encourage them to flourish in their own skill sets and prepare them for their future.
Not only will our own children benefit from this attitude in our homes, but those in the workplace who look up to us, whether we are in a leadership position or not – will benefit.
Our words often frame who we are and how those around us see us and are influenced by us. Our words are so powerful. On my first day back at work for 2021 I was challenged by a work mate who simply asked me ” What is your word for the year?” It wasn’t something I had ever really thought about. I often think of words and their definition and how I live by them – but I have never decided upon a word for a year. My lovely work mate, shared her word for 2021- positive. She wants to see life in a positive frame, rather than the fear she felt she had during 2020. I love this concept, and the responses from other staff really encouraged me and showed me that at times we may not need a new years resolution or new year goals, but rather a new way of thinking, a simple word to hold onto.
The question I now ask, is do you have a word for the year?
I’ll share mine – although these two words have been my word of the year in a way for many years.
The two words I love most are enable and empower. These two words tucked away in my heart – determine how I see the world, how I see what I do and how I interact with those around me. These words are so powerful many ways. I’ll give you the definition here to add context to the power of these two words:
Enable: to make able; give power, means, competence, ability to // to make possible or easy // to encourage or support
dictionary.com
Empower: to give power or authority to
dictionary.com
For word nerds like me, both of these words are verbs – action words. They represent something that is done. (I’ll never forget the ROTE learning of ‘ a verb is a doing word’). I personally love these two words and aim in my home, workplace and world to enable and empower those around me. If I can give just a little encouragement, a little power through my support, increase the confidence of those around me to achieve their goals – I feel my job is done. If I can be generous in unexpected ways to enc0urage or support, if I can make a way for goals to be achieved, if I can cheer you on to give you authority over your fears – then my job is done.
I hope this encourages you and inspires you to think about a word that you would like to hold onto this year, a word that represents the year you aim to have – despite the circumstances around us.
Ler us know in the comments your word of the year – we can’t wait to hear what they are!
I am amazing at thinking about goals, spending time writing them succinctly and then rarely achieving them. I think I am more addicted to adding the checkbox next to my thoughts than the actual task of doing what I set out to do. Don’t get me wrong, I do achieve goals and am happy with how I am tracking, but if you were to see my list of somewhat outrageous goals, you shouldn’t be surprised to see that about 40% go unachieved and will probably never be achieved. I am okay with this – for now.
I feel at this point I have the habit of writing goals I just need to work on the second half of the idea of actually achieving them! One thing I will say on this is, one of the Dad’s from Homes of Victory, sets a new goal every birthday – one where he can look back at, on the next birthday and see a difference. His aim is to build a habit out of the achieved goal as the year progresses. I must say he is very disciplined and the changes have been visible. They start off as goals and evolve into habits.
The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.
Og Mandino
I am encouraging you ( and myself) to develop more than just a new years resolution. I am encouraging you to set an achievable goal or goals that throughout the year become habits. Don’t let the simplicity of it, seduce you into turning your goals into bigger and better, becoming too big to manage and eventually never achieved.
Make setting achievable goals – your goal for 2021. Even if you only achieve one goal all year – it is better to achieve one goal, than none at all.
Happy New Year! What an exciting year 2021 is set to be. We can’t wait to see how this year unfolds.
We thought we would share, a beautiful image of summer in Australia. We have followers from all over the world, and one thing we love here at Homes of Victory is taking time out to recharge – and our choice of destination in summer is the beach. For those you in the middle of winter right now, we hope this warms your heart.
May we all remember this year to plan to recharge and include it in our family habits.
Thanks for tuning into Homes of Victory 2021, we have some exciting things in the pipeline to encourage you and support you as families.
We’ve had a whole heap of new followers lately – hello and welcome to Homes of Victory.
I’m Alicia and I’m one of the co-founders of Homes of Victory. In real life I can be a little shy, but when I write the whole creative process turns me into a completely different person.
So when I was asked to share a little more about myself here at Homes of Victory – I firstly went blank, but then I thought I would invite you in and give you a glimpse into my world.
In a nutshell, I am a mumma bear to three incredible kids who challenge me to be a better person every day. I married my sweetheart fifteen years ago and have enjoyed the adventure ever since. As a family we strive to encourage, be generous and always be on the look out for the next adventure.
Homes of Victory was developed out of many conversations I had over a period of year with friends, acquaintances and strangers. The common thread to me was two fold – without encouragement it is easy to give up, and many of us parents don’t realize other parents experience the same sorts of things – some just hide it better than others.
In case you haven’t noticed, I love people and family. I also love being a leader of people, a manager of things, being creative and especially being encouraging to those around me. The Homes of Victory platforms allows me to do everything I love.
I am so thankful for your support and ongoing kindness. Here at Homes of Victory we cannot wait to see what the rest of the year brings.
The thing about patience is, you can only learn to be patient by being patient. Patience is a skill and an art all in one. Growing up, us kids knew when my Dad was being patient, he would clear his throat. As though he was just giving us a little time to start behaving, as we knew better, or waiting for us to say what we needed to say or a little time for him to choose his words wisely. His leadership in this area, has impacted the way I do things. Granted I am not as patient as him, but I try to allow time to pass before making decisions, before correcting my kids, before doing most things. Patience allows time – time for strategic thinking, time for clear evaluation, time for things to settle on their own, time for things to work out. Demonstrating patience in the workplace and home, shows strength. The key is to know when patience or action is required.
We are a dynamic parenting duo with three incredible kids in our lives. We have embarked on diverse careers paths including project management, product design, program coordination, innovation economy development and leading people at the same time as building a family while continuing our careers. Along the way we somehow lost sight of the goals we had before parenthood, we lost sight of who we are as individuals and as a couple, aside from children. After a couple of years of intense stress, we stopped to take a deep breath and set aside time to reset due to the growing realisation that if we didn’t make the necessary adjustments, we could risk losing each other and everything we had dedicated to achieve. Now we want to support those of you experiencing similar challenges and changes that comes with having children. We are focused on supporting parents in the season of kids (of any age), we get that it can be joyful, overwhelming, exciting, scary, eye opening and downright hard. Join us on this adventure, that in one sense is living the dream and in another sense so crazy and wild that we wish we could press the pause button… just for a minute.
I was out riding in the bush with my Dad leading the way. I must say after a while, I was very conscious of how much fitter he is, than me. We were having a great time, exploring, he was ahead of me, and called out to go down a different path. All I could see up ahead as I rounded the bend was a massive hill. My Dad knowing me as he does, turned around and said: “It’s not as big as you think”. I laughed… does he not remember how unfit I am… He was right, as we rode up the hill, it actually wasn’t as difficult or as steep as I first thought. What he said next, was a revelation of brave. We stopped at the top for a breather and he said:
I have to be brave to say that. Every time I see it I think it’s too big, but every time I do it I remember it’s not so bad.
Homes of Victory – Dad
It got me thinking, how often do we see challenges in life, events that happen, people around us, as something ‘ massive’ – something bigger than it is, something more daunting than it really needs to be?
Do we look at everything with defeated thinking – for me in that moment of looking at the hill, my first thought was I’ll have to hop off my bike and walk – so embarrassing next to my fitter than me Dad… The thing, is we may KNOW it, we may REMEMBER it, but when we see it we fear. At this point, we all have a choice – do we choose BRAVE or do we choose to STAND DOWN?
I don’t know about you, but I want to choose brave – in the little things and in the big things. I want to explore the mountain tops that were worth the challenge, I was the people around me to be valued, I want the events that occur in my life to be added to the lessons learnt file.
So in light of this revelation of brave – what choices will you make today – to choose brave?
Hey just checking into see how your end of 2020 is going? Here in Australia along with other countries around the world, COVID is popping up again, and making life a little hectic and stressful. Like everyone touched by COVID, our Christmas plans are becoming more vauge as final decisions cannot be made yet. Life has it’s way of throwing curve balls at us, but at the end of the day its how we respond.
We get it that, we are sick of responding in a half hearted positive way as our energy is sapped with the trying part. We get it that so many changes to what we planned, what we dreamed of, what we are working towards – is draining. We are coming to the end of the year exhaused and wanting to nap.
During this time of uncertainty, take a moment to remember what you are thankful for. List them out. Even if it is one thing. Write it down. Remember it during this time.
Also, take time to rest, not just your body but your mind. Do something that allows you to rest – walk, sleep, exercise – whatever it is – rest.
Lastly, we want to encourage you at the end of the year – to revive your roots. The strength you have found during this year – needs to be acknowledged, the hard days you’ve got through, the unexpected fun days, the changes you’ve made to your family life, the changes to your role at work, the changes to your employment – all needs acknowledgment. These influences have contributed to foundational changes in your ability to deal with stress, change and flexibility due to cirumstances beyond your control – Hooray. See it for what it is. Your roots are going deeper, your capacity has enlarged and you’ve gained life experience that perhaps other generations will never know.
End this year, knowing you’ve grown, you’ve changed and your stronger for it.
We would love to know how your year has gone for you and what skills you have picked up along the way…
In the busyness of my household one morning, I found myself saying out loud to no one in particular “ Why am I always managing your things, put your own dishes away and pick up the mess”… I caught myself remembering a quote I had read at a business event.
you manage things, you lead people
Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hooper
No one responded by the way, so I guessed the other four occupants of my house were clearly not listening or interested in what I had to say. I continued to huff and puff around the kitchen in the bustle of a work / school day morning. Putting milk away, dirty dishes in the dishwasher, finding school lunch boxes, uniforms, wayward socks and whatever else needed doing in between.
We’ve all been there. Caught in the moment of feeling like the maid, the servant, the recipient of the ‘don’t worry Mum will do it’ award… I caught myself as I realized, I was managing the house, but I was also managing the people in it – not leading them how I planned to. Big difference with very different outcomes. So how do we lead the people in our home, when managing comes more naturally, when time constraints encourage the management of rather than the leading of, when managing is just plain easier than leading.
The question I felt I needed to go back to is “Why?”. Why do I want to lead my kids and not manage them? The how, to lead, will follow. The why for me is, I want my kids to grow up resilient, grow up with manners, grow up well rounded, grow up with the capacity to do life, basically to grow up and be amazing… Sound familiar? This all sounds nice in theory and in reality the practical outworking of a goal like this often comes to a grinding halt on a Monday morning… in my case, my reality check came out of the mouth of my 9 year old.
One evening while I was cooking dinner (in my work clothes as I had literally walked through the front door and into the kitchen to start cooking), she sat at the kitchen bench and looked at me. She said very matter of fact, “I don’t ever want kids”. I responded by saying that’s a bit sad kids are fun. She answered “Yeah but I don’t want to have to do everything like you”. Ouch. I must put a disclaimer here that my husband is very hands on around the home and is often in the kitchen or cleaning on weekends. I don’t do everything, and we encourage the kids to carry the load too. What I realised was, it was how I was leading, without even realising, “ doing everything” is what my behaviour was telling my child. It wasn’t my words, it was my actions. Although that thought hurt, it was a truth bomb that I needed to hear. It made me realise I wasn’t focused on the “why” I want to lead my kids, or even “how” any more, I had compartmentalised chores and kids in separate categories.
Coming back to the thought of managing things and leading people;
What is your motivation behind leading your family?
How easily does it drop off the radar for you?
What are some ways to keep it in the forefront of your mind?
How does the outworking of this goal happen in your home?
After the truth bomb dropped ever so eloquently in my kitchen that night, I decided to write it out and make it clear to myself what leading the people in my home should look like. How will I involve the kids, how will I carve out more time with them, how will I alter some of my actions, to make sure what I do matches what I say.
In the end I know that there is no perfect solution to the “how to”, but keeping in mind the why, and the desired outcome will keep me on track to achieving my goal of leading my people and managing things. How about you?
What does leading your children look like for your family?
Do your actions speak louder than words when it comes to leading?
We thought a great way to end the year here at Homes of Victory is to revisit out top 5 posts. Each day this week we will be re-posting your fav posts.
They are in a nutshell:
Why: Victory
Manage and Lead
About us: Justin & Alicia
Moody Teenager
Brave and Leadership trait: Patience tied in the number 5 spot.
It’s that time of year when we are winding down, getting a little bit reflective about the year it was. Can I just pause here and emphasis the words ‘ the year that was’. No one could have predicted what would occur globally in 2020, nor could we have predicted the type of year we as individuals and families would have.
One thing we do, to take control in a way of life – is to set goals. Goals help us focus, help us navigate the noise of life and find success. Here at Homes of Victory we have shared often about goal setting, how your family measures success and living in victory. This post flips that concept on its head, as we start to reflect on the year that was, and look at habits we may have formed, habits we have quietly agreed to – habit unlike goals that may not be the best for us.
I know this year, I have been guilty of dropping the discipline a little by drinking way too much tea, eating way too much chocolate and cheese, and watching way too much Netflix while ignoring every type of exercise ( pretty sure I’m now allergic to sweat) and the ever-growing number of baskets of washing that needs folding… It doesn’t seem like much, but my thinking behind it, is a little dangerous/ unhealthy/ alarming… for want of a better word. I keep saying to myself, it’s ok, if I need to stop because I can and I will. It’s okay, I will start to exercise when I want to – I rarely do – well not like I used to. These habits cannot be broken by one thought – I’ve realized as time has kept ticking, the days have kept passing, that breaking my Covid habits may not be as easy as I would like it to be.
Habits are one of those things that can be positive or negative. Habits – happen little by little. When my kids were little and I was trying to get them to sleep all night in their own beds, I read that after three nights a habit was formed. Never worked with my kids by the way… Another theory floating around is it takes 21 days for it to become a solid habit and another 90 days to become part of normal life. Either way, there are somethings about habits – whether positive or negative that we need to remember at this time of year – especially as we take time to reflect on the year that was and the year ahead:
Habits need:
Commitment to be formed and broken.
Time to be formed and broken.
Discipline to be formed and broken.
What habits have you formed this year that are positive?
What negative habits have you formed this year?
Think about the actions you need to take to make negative habit more positive?
At times we come across moments in our life where we need to make a decision that may seem daunting, that may seem overwhelming, but at the same time feels right. Sometimes we just need to take a step, to the point where we can’t turn back and the decision is set in motion. Then over time the decision seems less impossible, less daunting and more incredible and more satisfying as you discover it was the right decision.
In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety.
Abraham Maslow
By taking that brave step into the unknown (think of Anna as she sings this song on frozen…apologies if that song is now in your head), we take ourselves out of our comfort zone and into a place of growth. Fear seems to tag along for the ride when we step out, when we take risks, when we are brave. It’s all part and parcel of becoming who we are. The choice to be brave takes us to places we never dreamed of, being brave takes us towards achievements we only dreamt of.
Being brave doesn’t mean we have no fear – it means we refuse to be overcome by it.
Steven Furtick
Having brave feet that set decisions in motion may look ordinary, may look like regular work boots, stilettos or sneakers. However your brave feet look, remember only you can take the step, determine its path and be responsible for your growth. Own the steps you are taking. Don’t belittle the ordinary looking feet, taking brave steps – mine are often bare feet with sand between my toes, breathing in the depth of decision, and exhaling brave.
Where will your step of bravery take you today? What exciting, challenging opportunity will you take, just by taking a deep breath and taking a brave step. It may take many brave steps to get to where you are going, but take them,one at a time. Take them fast or slow, but keep growing and keep being brave. You can do it.
Often as a leader, we set the pace for the team we lead and the direction of it through a vision statement. In the workplace the vision guides the team throughout the year and points to required outcomes and project deliverable . Writing a vision for your team can be time consuming and thought provoking as it sets the team up for a win and encourages the writing of goals and actions.
Stepping out of the business world for a moment and into the world of family for a moment, I want to challenge you with this question: Have you ever written a vision statement for your marriage or family?
As 2020 is drawing to a close, we are leaving behind unprecedented times, while what is to come globally for 2021 is also unprecedented and unknown, take charge of what you have control of and make your future, the best it has ever been for you and your family.
As parents – as a couple – what impact do you feel writing a vision for your marriage / family would have in your home? Would it be beneficial and set the tone for the year ahead?
Homes of Victory is here to support you and your family when writing a family or marriage vision. The family blueprint is designed to walk you through the process of planning your vision, encourage you to dream big and align it with your family values and goals. To see all the Family Blueprint posts – select the tag below or check out the family Blueprint tab at the top of the page.
It’s never too late to write the vision for your marriage
Homes of Victory 