Success for leadership is . . . knowing the great art of directing others without their noticing it.
Anonymous
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#homesofvictory
Tag: connection
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#homesofvictory
Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.
John Maxwell
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Leadership Trait: Influence
To be a true influencer is to have an impact on the behaviours, attitudes, opinions and choices of others. A leader’s ability to have influence is based on trust. The more trust there is, the more influence you have. Be careful not to confuse influence with coercion or manipulation. Just because trust is involved doesn’t mean it can be taken advantage of.
As a leader, you must constantly aware of how you influence those around you. The way you speak – will influence the culture of your workplace, the way you work will set the level of expectation, the way you carry yourself during stressful situations will set the standard for others, the way you do what you do – will influence how your staff, your family, whoever you are leading – behaves . It sets the tone of expectation, it sets the standard to which you expect tasks completed. Choose how you influence. Choose how you impact those around you.
Here are four specific areas, the skills of an influencer targets:
- Organizational Intelligence: Understand how to get things done and embrace the reality of working within organizational politics. ( What I like to call sticky red tape)
- Team Promotion: Leaders with influence learn how to honestly promote themselves. Bearing in mind they also promote what is good for the entire organization
- Building trust: With your team, your peers and others in leadership positions.
- Collaboration: No leader works alone, connect with others in you network – be empowered by this, and empower others.
These skill areas can be translated into your home and friendships. We are leaders in our home ( organisation equivalent) working within the constraints of family / income/ time etc… as parents with influence, we can learn to promote ourselves to our children – not in a selfish egotistical way, but rather in a ‘ setting the example’ type way. Trust is self-explanatory and so too is collaboration – the older you children get – there will be more ways to collaborate and empower them to make decisions, be part of the decision making process, or simply learn how to work well with others – using all strengths for the greater good.
The last thing I was add about influencing as a leadership trait is: influence must never be confused with coercion or manipulation. Being influential / being an influencer – needs to be accomplished in a positive manner – where you are setting a standard for expectations, using your influence to benefit those around you and most of all have a positive impact on behaviours, attitudes and choices.
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#kidlogic: lizards
“ Mum… my friend Lucy is a thorny devil.”
“A what?”
“ A thorny devil”
“ Really”
“ Yes, her Grammy told her that she was, and if she wasn’t careful she would be thrown into the fire”
“ Well that’s not very nice..” doubting the conversation was relayed correctly.
“ No it’s not.”
Two weeks later… I’m serious she thinks about things in depth…
“ Mum where do Thorny Devils live?”
“ I don’t know sweetheart.”
“ I think they are naughty people… where do naughty people live?”
“ Naughty people can live anywhere..”
“ Oh, I’m glad there are none in Brisbane.” She sounded so relieved… as she simply decided how life is.
“ I hope you don’t call any one a Thorny Devil… it’s not a nice thing to say.”
“ Oh no I don’t, but Lucy does.”
“ Well make sure you always use kind words.”
“ Okay Mum”
A week later and it finally clicked in my mind that a thorny devil is a lizard, gee I need to scrub up on my animal species. It all makes perfect sense… now. Upon sharing my new found knowledge with Lalee, the response was:
“ What! Do naughty people get turned into lizards… Oh my goodness.”
Sigh…. This is going to be a long conversation.
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Don’t trade in your integrity for influence.
Richie Norton
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#kidlogic: home
Lalee:“ Mum why do houses stay in the one place ALL day?”
Try answering that questions when your 3 year old asks you in all seriousness… I decided to take the, because they have deep foundations in the ground and don’t have legs route…
Lalee: “ Well that’s boring”…
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#kidlogic: coffee
I love it how Dads play with their kids. It is so different to how Mums play… the only thing is they get sucked in before they realise – cue the bad guy laughter…
Act1: Playing cafes in the lounge room with Dad
Dad(D): Hi can I buy some coffee?
Lalee(L): That will be one hundred million dollars
D: Do you think that’s a bit much for coffee?
L: Guess you won’t be buying coffee then.
Lalee gracefully walked off and started to play another game. Her poor Dad was left a little confused. Later he confessed, he nearly asked if that that is how you play shops… but thought better of it. He wanted to enjoy his real ‘ far cheaper’ coffee in peace.
Act 2: Another day of playing cafe’s…
L“ Dad… would you like to order a coffee?”
D“ Sure, one coffee please”
L“ That will be one million dollars.”
D“ Really?”
L“ Yes.” Was the adamant response.
D“ That’s expensive coffee, could I get a discount?”
L“ No”
D“ Oh that’s a shame…”
L“ Oh! well no coffee then…”
So much for compassion, generosity and kindness….
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my own makerspace
In recent times, maker spaces have become extremely popular in public libraries. A space where members have free access to tools, equipment and the like, things they would not normally have access to. Some libraries, house sewing machines, 3D printers, wood lathes, jigsaws, drills, tools that can be borrowed such as screwdrivers etc… It has become popular to borrow the item or use it at the library rather than buy it for one particular task. From the growth of makerspaces, communities with similar interests have grown, no longer are public libraries about book clubs, they are about sewing groups and budding designers. Libraries are also introducing STEM packs for parents to borrow like robots and coding information, toy swags and other innovative ways to bring to library to the home and users.
Upon reflecting on this, even though I work in this field and love it, I feel I actually have no time to spend in these kinds of creative spaces. What I need is a makerspace in my mind… a way to make space for creativity, a way to reduce my open tabs to none and just have the capacity to be creative. I need to admit that my creativity of late has been reduced to moving my pot plants around on my deck – in a bid to make it ‘ look nicer’ and to try my hand at painting. Of which I feel I am failing miserably at, as I sit down to focus on a tutorial and within 10 minutes I’m up because I forgot to do something (more) important.
Usually, I am a swimmer and swimming laps, although boring for some, actually helps me clear my mind and focus. My best thinking occurs, following the black line up and down the pool. I’ve let my discipline slip and allowed my incredible capacity to make up excuses take over… oh the pool is shut, no… it’s open again… wow its winter and it’s gonna be cold in a heated pool…All of which holds little truth, but it’s enough to keep me warm in bed, when I should be swimming rather than complaining that I don’t have any maker space left in my brain…
What I am getting at is, we all need a makerspace in our minds – to be able to deal better with the everyday. To deal better when our kids throw the tenth tantrum of the day or when our other half can’t find what they’re looking for, even when it’s right in front of them… ( sorry love but it’s true)…
What provides you with your maker space? Meditation? Sport? Reading? Sewing? Drawing? Creating?
Do you allow yourself time to have that headspace?
What impacts does it have on you when you don’t have time to yourself?
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#kidlogic: animals
Sparkie@4yrs old (S): Hey Mum I really want to ride a flamingo
Mum(M): Oh darling, I don’t think they would like that
S: Why?
M: They’re not that big and you are heavy
S: I’m four, it should be okay
M: Maybe think of another animal to ride, like a horse
S: Hey Mum, can I touch a sloth
M: Probably not, I don’t think they like being touched.
S: Can you go tell the zoo I want to touch a sloth, quietly when its asleep
M: Oh the zoo is a long way away and I can’t do that now
S: Ok Mum, tomorrow?
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What is it about you?
This is a question I love to ask, but hate to answer… We all have a unique personality, with unique skill sets and abilities. What is it about you, that firstly makes you, you and secondly, who are you to other people? The influence you have in your world – the influence you have on those around you – at home, work and play – you may never know its extent. What we do know is, we have capacity to influence those around us – whichever way we choose
Does it matter to you, what type of influence you have?
At times we don’t know what influence we have, other times we find out, other times we receive feedback that is critical or unkind. How do you respond to that?
I often respond with reflection – firstly is the criticism fair, is it true, is it partly true? Of course it hurts and at times, we need to choose not to let it affect us, other times, we need to take it on board and use it to grow.
So then, What is it about you? What makes you unique? What type of influence do you have in your world?
Please don’t move on from this question without spending a little time reflecting on who you are, the influence you have and the amazing contribution you make to those in your world.
I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.
Beatrix Potter
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You don’t have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.
Scott Adams
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#kidlogic: fractions
Every year we celebrate Chinese New Year as my husband and his family are from a Malaysian / Chinese heritage. Upon explaining to Lalee who had just turned 4 why we celebrate Chinese New Year… she asked Why… My response was because Daddy is Chinese, and you and your brother are half Chinese.
“ What about you?” she replied
“ I’m Australian” I said.
After taking some time to think about it… Lalee finally said, “ You can be my half… So, I’ll be half Chinese and so can you”… aww sweetness.
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Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow.
Chinese Proverb
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Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.
Charlotte Brontë, author of Jane Eyre
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it’s not how
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
General George Smith Patton, Jr.
I love the mind of a child. I love watching and learning. At times I ask my children to do something, and the way they do it is rather surprising. As adults we can assume that children know how to do it the way we want it done, without telling them. Other times, we are perplexed why they don’t know how to do something we’ve shown them ten times over.
An example of this, is a recent three day screen ban in our home. I won’t go into why the ban was put in place, but what I will say is be prepared to follow through on a threat – even it is causes you pain! Any way, on day one, when I was told, “I’m bored”, ” I don’t know what to do”. The resounding response was go outside and play. We are very blessed with a back yard, and in that yard we have a grassed area big enough to kick a ball and gardens filled with native plants and a mature mango tree. Before I knew it, my two eldest children were designing a treehouse, they were pestering my husband for use of a drill and had called their grandpa and organised for him to bring over some items they needed to build it. Within the three days, a basic tree house was built. No screens, no fights, no tantrums, no disobedience. Plain and simple – getting along, communicating, teamwork and fun.
They surprised me no end, and I was very proud how they copped the ban on the chin, and focused on what they could do, rather than what they knew the couldn’t ( or rather were not allowed to do)
Sometimes, we need to remember in life, we don’t need to over complicate things, by adding the ‘ how’ into every conversation, but rather take a deep breath – ask, tell, direct, whatever the basic instruction maybe – and let the how take care of itself.
Homes of Victory 