Tag: connection

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Blue Print

Measuring success

In a day and age when products are built to only last a short amount of time, when marketing and promotions are becoming more subtle yet more in your face, how do we move beyond having the latest and greatest and measure success in real terms. Rather than always wanting more, how do we become satisfied and dare I say content with who we are and what we have? 

This year our family is embarking on an adventure of not buying anything new. Before your mind wanders, we do have a list of exceptions that includes undies, socks, school books and food. As a family, if we want / need to buy new we will first work on finding a solution that involves recycling, reusing or refusing. If it falls into the want category it is automatically refused. Tough hey.

We have worked through the differences between need and want, the need for discipline when wanting to simply wander the shops for the sake of it, not adding things to our home just because and becoming more creative and slowing down to appreciate what we already have. In all honestly, we have more than enough and I instigated this adventure initially to save money. The kids became excited about the sustainability aspect as we all jumped on board. My excitement I do admit dissipated fairly quickly as I realised I couldn’t buy any new plants… With that said, seven months in and all family members are still on the bandwagon and we have been more creative and thoughtful with our purchases.

Taking time to think about a success criteria for our family project, got us thinking in broader terms of what type of criteria makes up, how successful we feel in life. It is easy for us to list the things that make us feel more successful – like career, car, home, kids, education. Digging a bit deeper and asking ‘Do these things really make us successful?’ revealed some interesting things, some things we weren’t prepared for and likewise things that have made us become more deliberate in how we rate our family success and how achieving our criteria makes us feel.

Think about what factors contribute to how you measure success in your family.

Be sure to read the next post on measuring success to find out what three things we learnt.

Categories
Blue Print

the obstacle course

part two of creating a family blueprint

I am a very visual person and I feel that the words ‘obstacle course’ aptly describe how life feels some times. At time we just need to grit our teeth and keep going, it may feel like we are crawling through mud, or climbing a never ending ladder, but one thing that always remains is change. Change is guaranteed to be a constant in our lives, so too are the ups and downs, most of which we have no control over.

One thing we can do is build a firm foundation on how to deal with what life throws our way before it happens so we are prepared and we limit the impact where possible. Before you ask, this foundation does need to be flexible and created with an open mind, otherwise it won’t work. If the following sets of conversations occur before further obstacles come our way, they will be more manageable and easier to navigate. The aim is to come out of life’s obstacles stronger and better for it, rather than defeated So lets get working on creating our obstacle course foundations.

Over the next six weeks we will be looking at the following:

part one: Who we are?

part two: What we need?

part three: Success factors

part four: Communication plan

part five: Time management plan

part six: Disaster management plan

Categories
Victory

#homesofvictory

That’s what I consider true generosity –you give your all and yet you feel as if it costs you nothing

Simone deBeauvoir
Categories
Blue Print

blueprint summary

Congratulations, you made it through the first part of creating a family blueprint. we hope you enjoyed the conversations and spending time doing so with the one you do life with.

How do you feel you went coming up with your blueprint foundations? Were you able to come up with a list of five priorities for each category? We found it hard and at times we both got a bit offended, a little bit cranky, but at the same time we laughed and dreamed and really enjoyed having a conversation that didn’t center around our kids.

Which was the easiest topic for you to talk about? The hardest?

For us, the money talk was easier than expected. It was the conversation about kids that took us weeks to muddle through. I must say though, it was an interesting conversation that needed to happen, as it changed the course of our future, as it was when we decided to have a third child. It almost came down to I would love a third child, if you don’t we don’t do it, but we need to reach a decision. ( For us time was ticking…)

Did you use any of these conversations to make any life changing decisions?

Categories
Victory

work vs deed

When have we as a society stopped doing deeds for others and thought of generosity, acts of kindness and thoughtfulness, as work?


Is it just me or do you feel our culture in general is becoming more inward focused, selfish, and unkind? Is the rush of life, the desire to be somewhere, the overbooking of calendars etc… making us weary, without a capacity to think of others?


I’ve been mulling over these two words deed and work for some time, as the meaning of both words has ‘ accomplish’ in both definitions. I would argue although the definition of work has the terms ‘ exertion’ and ‘ effort’ in the definition, at times, when we carry out a deed towards someone else ( I am referring to this in a positive sense) it also does take ‘ exertion’ and ‘effort’.


work – noun: exertion or effort directed to produce or accomplish something. (labor/toil)

dictionary.com

deed- noun something that is done, performed or accomplished; an act… often deeds, an act or gesture, especially as illustrative of intentions, one’s character.

dictionary.com


What are your thoughts on this? I find as a leader, we can easily set the example by doing random acts of kindness that don’t often take much effort or exertion – but make a huge difference to the day of someone else. When was the last time you send a word of encouragement? When was the last time you thanked someone at work for organizing an event or meeting? When was the last time you noticed something your kids did well or did without being asked?

Don’t see kindness as work. See kindness for what it is – intentionally making some ones day that bit better. It may not take a lot of time, it may not take too much effort but what it does is brightens the world, encourages the ripple effect of smiles and kindness in a world that truly needs more kind in it.

Categories
Blue Print

dream a little dream

Category Six:

Future: dream a little  Where do you see yourself and your family in five to ten years? What could you start planning for now, that will come to fruition in that time frame?

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Victory

#homesofvictory

There is a difference between offering a service and being willing to serve. They may both include giving but only one is generous.

Simon Sinek
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Blue Print

Valuing what’s coming in

Category Five:

Finances:  Finances can be a big topic and one that can cause stress. The whole idea of including finances in this activity is that they link to almost everything we do and want to do. It may be worth setting a time frame for this conversation and covering this topic over two or more conversations. This activity is aimed at creating a strategic list of priorities. This is not the time to be working out the ‘ how’. Use this conversation, no matter how long it takes to think big, dream and add a bit of reality – together.

Categories
Blue Print

Valuing what’s inside our walls

Category Four:

Children:  Write down the values you think of when you read the word ‘children’. It may be how many you want, your dreams for them, schooling, where they grow up, and in what environment…

Dream big for them.

Categories
Victory

# homesofvictory

One minute of anger weakens the immune system for 4 to 5 hours. One minute of laughter boosts the immune system for 24 hours.

Robyn Pryor

Categories
Blue Print

Valuing what’s outside

Category Three:

Business / Career: This week explore what your individual goals are, and how you expect to steer your business/career looking forward? What is important to you at present and in the future?  

Categories
Victory

Can you see it?

We often joke in our marriage that my husband is the dreamer and I am the realist. To further describe it, he is the risk taker, I’m not, he is Mr Adventure, I am Mrs Risk Assessment first. After 16 years of marriage and many jokes about our personality types, I’ve come to realize, that he can see things that I can’t see and vice versa. Another way to put this is, he chooses to see things I don’t and I choose to see things he doesn’t. The next realization is – do I trust what he can see, even if I can’t? The answer is yes, but it’s always tentative, why – because I want to be able to see what he sees.

My better half will put risk into the equation because he knows / sees / believes the outcome will more than likely outweigh the risk. Can I add that he is spot on 99% of the time…

In life, what is it that you choose to see? What is it that you are encouraged to see? What is is that you may not be able to see straight up?

I’ve been really challenged by this thought lately. What is it that I don’t see – that perhaps if I did, could lead to a different outcome. As a mega organized, ahem reformed control freak, I like to plan and know how things are going to work. These last few months I’ve been testing myself in a way to see how I would cope if my comfort zone was to be pushed out – by me. The results – the kids did run out of milk one morning – not sure why running out of milk was a fear but anyway – thanks to an early morning servo run, the kids had breakfast, I applied for a dream job and was appointed in the role… I was even able to wake up with the kids on the holidays and not have the day planned. For me this is a huge achievement – for some it maybe normal – for me a huge shift

Hear me out – what you don’t see – is exactly that. When you begin to become aware that there are things unseen – things in life such as behaviors, attitudes and thought patterns that could be holding you back… why not try to see them. Why not explore a change in your comfort zone – push yourself a little. My example may not resonate with you, but think of a way to make yourself uncomfortable – I’m sure you will be fine – more fine than you give yourself credit for.

Categories
Blue Print

Valuing home

Category Two is:

Home Environment – notice here house is not the theme, rather home environment is. List 5 values that describe how you want your family to interact, how you want your family space to be for your family. This is similar to family values from week one, however more practical items will appear on your list.

Categories
Victory

#homesofvictory

Don’t find the fault, find the remedy.

Henry Ford
Categories
Victory

What are you empty of?

I don’t know about you, but in the hustle and bustle of life, how full does your brain feel? Mine feels… overflowing. I’ve recently started a new job which is AMAZING, and our family has been adjusting fairly well to the changes with that. But one thing my husband said to me over the weekend caught my attention. You see, in taking up this new role, I went in with eyes wide open, and a mindset of not only doing the task well but making sure my family and marriage came first and remained first. All other things would flow from that. The thing he said to me was, “I didn’t tell you…… during the week, you looked like you had too many tabs open in your mind”.

Now I am a sucker for starting to read two or three books at a time, I’ve always had a busy mind. I will write shopping lists, to do lists – and exhaust those just watching me get organised. But… what I need to realise – and wish I had done so earlier was that my brain – actually needs space to be my brain and simply function. I overload it with things that really shouldn’t come anywhere near the priority list. Are you with me? I realised I worry about people and events I read about in the news, I scroll through snap shots of other peoples lives and start to grow stories in my mind of the what if’s and could be’s. All of this is unnecessary. All of this is just overwhelming – especially when we add it to our daily intake of stuff.

Not only am I trying to work out dinner for my family, and listen to the battles of their day, work out the bickering between the kids and so on, I am taking on the worries of the world – when really, I don’t need to and really, I shouldn’t. This may I add is different to empathy – empathy is great and amazing – at the right time and place. What I am talking about here is taking on the worries of the world and carrying them like a burden – a backpack of worry.

How many of us are guilty of this? Filling our minds with what isn’t ours to worry about? Filling the gaps of precious down time we have with everything else but just being still and enjoying the moment. I came across this quote which came at a very apt time, when all of these thoughts about what I take in each and every day. Augustine once said

We must empty ourselves of all that fills us so we may be filled with what we are empty of. 

Augustine

Now ask yourself, what is it that fills up your brain? Work, living, chores, anxiety, worry, feeling overwhelmed? What is it that you need to take away or empty yourselves from, so that you can be filled again?

To put Augustine’s quote to the test, and to personally challenge my scrolling addiction, I jumped off the social media bandwagon for 21 days. Can I just say, it was hard at first, but it got easier and better. I filled my usual scrolling time with reading and chatting to my kids and being more present that I already was. I feel I have started a new habit of scrolling less and connecting more.

What are you going to do?