The first place we must win the victory is in our own minds. If you don’t think you can be successful, then you never will be.
Joel Osteen
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Tag: positive
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blueprint strategy 2
Goals
Once you have your finalised family values statement, the real heavy lift work begins. Now, is the time to start thinking about and writing goals that correlate to the sets of values created in blueprint foundations.
The categories looked at in blueprint foundations were:
* family values
*home environment
*business / career
* children
* finances
* future dreams
The family values list links to the family values statement or mission statement., as created in the activity in the strategy post. Later on, the future dreams list will be used to create a vision statement for the years ahead.
The lists of values for each of these categories home environment, business, children and finances will be used to develop goals that feed into the family 1- 3 year operational plan. .
Activity: Write 1 – 3 goals for each category.
How to write a goal
There are many ways to write goals and no one way to achieve them. If you are unfamiliar with writing goals, need a helping hand, here are a few different ways to set goal
SMART goals
SMART goals are based on actions that form the acronym: Is the goal Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound?
In our family we use SMART goals for more strategic type goals, we sit and write out SMART goals in great detail as these generally take longer to achieve.
An example of a SMART goal is:
We are going to save $X to go on a holiday in September. To do this we will save $X per week.
S: The who, what, when is listed. The where is not listed in this goal.
M: The goal of a holiday, and the amount to save is listed clearly.
A: The dollar amount is listed
R: This goal links to our family strategic goals – add in the category it is relevant to.
T: The goal is time bound as the end date is September
WOOP goals
Another form of goal writing, that is great when the whole family is included is WOOP. I have recently come across this method of goal writing. It is great as it can be parent led and has space for child input and ownership. This type of goal writing is great for ‘ team’ type goals that are not necessarily directional strategically but functional for family life. It may be about eating healthier food options, volunteering together, working on a family project – that kind of activity. WOOP stands for Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. It encourages the big picture dreams and then by looking at outcomes and obstacles – the specifics of the goal can be nutted out. The final step – the plan is the grand scheme of how to achieve the goal. It is also the time to take the obstacles listed and write against each one an ‘ if then’ plan to overcome the obstacles.
An example of a WOOP goal is:
W: We wish as a family we could hike for six kilometres (without the children whinging)- and enjoy it.
O: Increased fitness, ability to go on more hikes and find interesting places.
O: The youngest can’t walk that far, she decides not to…
P: Start building up fitness with shorter walks. Find ways to encourage the youngest to increase her stamina.
List:
The final example of setting a goal that I find really works for me in the busy of life is this list format of goal setting. I tend to use this for more base line goals and use this list as a reminder. I keep the monthly list on the inside of my pantry as that is where I see it the most. It’s a great reminder of what I set out to do each month, as the days fly by.
Here is an example of one of my lists:
This month __________________ I will
- Start/ Stop: organising birthday presents //
- Learn: How to cook ravioli from scratch
- Read: “and the mountains echoed” by Khaled Hosseini.
- Visit: Grandparents
- Organise: the linen cupboard and garage storage
- Improve: print photos for lounge room wall – update photos
Overall, it’s not about the method you use to write your goal, it’s the fact that you’ve set some goals that you believe are achievable for your family.
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Who is the loudest?
This week has been one of opportunity and disappointment. Highs and lows all rolled into one. Both the opportunity and disappointment have been caused by the opinion and decision of others. We also received valuable unwarranted encouragement while also struggling to comprehend the knock back of a well-rounded argument for an amazing collaboration opportunity. It is something we have no control over. In the middle of a download about why the we felt disappointed, we started talking about the positives of the situation, how we were building resilience and that the encouragement came at the perfect time.
To put the brakes on the disappointment, we had an interesting conversation about making a choice about who and what we were going to listen to and to allow the disappointing moment wash over us as we continued on with our work. We decided in the moment to listen and remember the words of the encouragers rather than the naysayers. We would use the disappointment to form our determination for future opportunities. The choice we made lead for a brighter end of the week and lessons learnt.
The question I have for you in your situation is.. In your moment of opportunity or disappointment, do you choose which voice you listen to, or do you listen to them all? Chances are if you do,
The negative voices in your life will speak the loudest and linger the longest in your thoughts. Don’t listen to them.
Do you listen to the encourager, the naysayer, the ‘you can do it’ voice or the ‘don’t even try’ voice? Only you get to choose which words stick and which ones you need to let slide off. Likewise, in your life whether at home or work, are you the encourager or the naysayer? Do you see opportunity or feel threatened by great ideas? Are you someone who enables another to thrive, or do you like to do all the thriving?
In life everything comes down to the choices we make and when. Make choices today the contribute to building others up, that encourage others while seeking to find the best solutions. Wouldn’t it be a better world if we all encouraged one another, gave constructive feedback, and had the capacity to see what others see in terms of their dreams and visions.
Side note – May Homes of Victory be a positive voice in your life, may you see the passion and encouragement behind each post. Live each day making choices that lead towards victory in this season.
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Propel the positive
Don’t walk in my head with your dirty feet.
Leo Buscaglia, Living, Loving & Learning
I read this quote and it made me stop and me smile because of its truth. How often do we let the negative of what others say, walk right in and make themselves at home. Lounging on the couch in our minds, multiplying into more negative thoughts.
Instead, why don’t we start making a conscious effort to let our positive out into the world. Any negative comment can be flipped into a positive one. Be conscious of it, when you are speaking and connecting with others. You will never know the positive difference you can make in someone’s day.
Don’t fuel the negative – propel the positive.
Homes of Victory
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Under the microscope: Resilience
Resilience is the talk of the town here at HOV this week. Considering the year we have had – personally, as a community, as a nation and globally, I am sure we can all relate to the quest for finding resilience and remaining resilient through prolonged seasons of stress, overwhelming situations and isolation. Resilience is not putting happy pants on and doing a dance then being ready to face the day with a plastered smile on your face, resilience is so much more than that. Resilience at times can be treated with contempt, as we wonder what next, in our stressful situations. Resilience, however, will offer us a look into the positive, could-be’s and may-be’s that negativity does not allow for. Resilience, in its finest form, is like wearing armour with our feet firmly planted, ready to do battle with the season we’re in.
We all have varying levels of resilience, at times we may feel we have bucket loads, other times, we wonder where we can find more… So, let’s take a closer look at resilience, and why it is necessary, important, and critical to our home life, workplace and community.
Resilience is defined as:
1. The power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched, elasticity.
2. Ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like, buoyancy.
In your home, resilience is vital for several reasons as it enables us to develop ways to protect against experiences that could be overwhelming. Resilience helps us maintain balance in our lives during stressful periods and protects us to a degree from developing mental health difficulties and issues.
In the workplace, resilience is a key strategy to enable us to tackle stress, competitive job markets, workplace conflicts and address challenges and change. Learning to be resilient in the workplace is so important as we often identify work as the number one stressor in our lives.
In community, resilience becomes all about the recovery from adversity and how individuals / families contribute to that.In Australia over the past few years we’ve had our share of devastating fires and floods along with the rest of the world weathering coronavirus– it has been a mix of grief at the loss and devastation but also a joy to see how the communities affected rally together and inspire the recovery efforts.
So, how do we go about building resilience, staying resilient and teaching those around us how to be resilient? To answer this question, we need to look at the types of resilience and where our strengths and weaknesses lie. Once an awareness of our current capacity of resilience, we can then build on this foundation.
We all experience ebbs and flows of resilience pending the circumstances around us and its severity – we are a work in progress on this too. The idea behind building resilience and staying resilient is reducing the difference between the ebbs and flows.
Start to think about what impacts on your resilience? This will become a key factor when increasing your resilience and staying resilient through the long haul.
I know when my kids were little, lack of sleep played a huge role in how resilient I felt. I remember one night, making a sandwich for my eldest, my husband innocently asked what I was doing, and I burst into tears…. Not very resilient hey – the reality was I was living on four hours of sleep a night and his lovely well intended question pushed me to tears… it’s funny now, but when I look back, all I wanted was the strength to get through each day. Have you been there? Are you living this now?
Here at HOV we are not experts in this field, nor claim to be, what we are interested in doing is giving you some pointers to get you started and support and encourage you on the adventure of building resilience.
Before we get into the how to build resilience, it is important to note that there are four different types of resilience we can build:
- Physical
- Mental
- Emotional and;
- Social
All four areas in our lives require some level of resilience, as we face major life problems, situational problems, daily problems and what we like to call micro stresses. The little annoyances that build up, or the ones we see when we are in a negative head-space.
Think for a moment and rate your level of resilience for each area? Use a scale of 1 – 10. Where do you feel your strength areas? Where are your weaker areas?
If you are doing this with someone you are close to and feel comfortable – rate each other and talk about your answers. This is about growing and supporting each other.
Keep an eye out for the next post of under the microscope: resilience – in reality. In this post we will be looking at practical ways to increase your resilience and how to stay resilient.
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living the dream
In the rough and tumble of life, we found ourselves talking about what our 18 year old selves wanted to do, before the reality (ahem responsibility) of life took hold. The interesting thing was, although we had all of these dreams and goals at 18, some of which we have achieved, others that are still to come to fruition, we both agreed that if we didn’t have this, we would still want it. The ‘this’ was three kids tangled together sound asleep in our bed, toys, books, shoes, scattered over the floor, a ton of clean socks hiding behind a cushion on the couch and dirty dishes waiting to be done. We joked that even in the crazy, mess of home – we are still living the dream. The dream of having a family – although it looks far different in reality, the emotional rollercoaster, the lack of sleep, chicken nuggets, visiting of public toilets, the noise, the tears, the dramas, the fun, the laughter, the push me higher on the swing squeals, all of it – is really living the dream. When the drama reaches fever pitch or dinner time turns into a calamity, we try to smile and remind ourselves we are living the dream. By doing this, we actually change the mood – to a positive one – rather than respond to the drama with more drama.
What does ‘living the dream’ look like in your home? How close is your reality to your dream?
Is it something that you need to remind yourself of more often?
What changes could you make, to make living the dream, more of a reality?
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Kid speak: yet…
My 8 year old came home the other day from school absolutely beaming. He was so excited to share with me a Ted Talk his class had watched. I took a double take when I heard Ted Talk, as growing up, all I thought about in primary school was which bike path I was going to ride on when I got home… any way, he was so excited about it, that he suggested after dinner we all watch it together.
The Ted Talk titled the mindset of a champion was by a young primary school age boy who learnt a valuable lesson – add the word ‘ yet’ – to the end of your sentences. Using it to aim higher rather than feel defeated. An example of this is, “I can’t tie my shoelaces… yet.” You get the idea. As we all snuggled in bed listening to this, I couldn’t believe how glued my kids were to this amazing speaker. As a whole family we learnt something new – in essence a simple growth mindset concept. One we could also apply it straight away. By adding ‘ yet’, to our sentences, it is beginning to change our language to be more positive – it also makes us smile when we can add it to each other’s sentences. Mind you, the kids are now saying things like, ‘We can’t go to McDonalds… yet’ with a big cheeky grin – nice try.
To sum it up, it may only take a lesson at school, or a moment of inspiration in your child, to make a change in your family. Encourage your children to share what they learn. We are thankful for this insight into our child’s day, but also grateful that we can integrate it into our everyday language. It has made us as a family more positive, and as we face challenges, we know know we can achieve it if we put our minds to it.
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Thank you Superheroes
Here in Australia it’s Fathers Day!
Thank you to all the Dads, Grandpas, Dads to be, uncles and brothers.
You are all super heroes – to your loved ones.We honor you today for the special role you play in the lives of your family and friends! It wouldn’t be the same with out you.
To those who have loved and lost, may your hearts be reminded of the big bear hugs and the joy your Dad brought to your life- be it a little or a lot.
To our Homes of Victory Dads – you have taught us so much and so generously shared your wisdom with us. May we continue your legacy in the life of our family – showing grace and patience, bringing the fun and joy while leading and mentoring the next generation.
Due to changes in my workplace I’m back working in front line customer service. I must say at many times over the past few months I’ve been on the receiving end of people’s complaints, anger, frustration and stress. Being in the firing line really doesn’t bother me… but today was different.
An elderly man asked to speak to someone I charge. As I approached him and said hello, he smiled and said, these ten words:
I don’t like to complain but I love a debate.
anon customer
I couldn’t help but smile. We had the best conversation and the issue was resolved – peacefully and swiftly.
What captured my attention was not only his perspective but his behavior. I would call it honorable. He was respectful and listened to my responses. The reason I mention listened, is because I find a lot of people like to complain, but not many like to listen to the response.
This customer who by the way turned out to be 89, showed me that maybe just maybe if we all behaved in a respectful and honorable manner more issues would be resolved peacefully. There would be less stress, less anxiety around conflict resolution. There would be more kindness and understanding – more listening and less speaking.
I know I’m going to take his 10 words into my everyday and use this perspective in my home life and workplace. What a better world we would have, it we all took his advice and approached life with an open mind, ready for a debate rather than a complaint.
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But… I Dreamt Big and Worked Hard
Over the last few months, I’m sure you can agree, that life hasn’t been what we’ve expected. What we planned 2020 to be. What we imagined our business, our home life, our everything to look like. This week, I was talking to a friend who lives on the other side of the world with two children, she told me that although she loves to plan, and dream and plan some more, she hates being disappointed when things don’t turn out the way she expected. This isn’t a control thing, in her case, it’s a ‘ but I dreamt big, worked hard’ and it still didn’t happen.
Another sobering conversation we had this week with some friends, was the impact COVID was having in their circle of influence, those they have built multiple companies with, those they work with closely. The impacts have ranged from being hit so hard with the unexpected that decisions based on the now are being made like divorce or worse. In comparing the conversations, the whole ‘ I dreamt big, worked hard and it didn’t happen’ feeling of disappointment resounds. It impacts everyone, from Mums and Dads, to corporate highflyers and everyone in between. I believe this season has impacted every person – somehow. How has it impacted you? Your family? Your friends?
How often during this season, have you felt like, everything you’ve worked for, dreamt of and even at times achieved is simply gone?
Hold that thought, now I challenge you, to write down all your achievements – go back as many years as you like, then, balance that against your dreams. Are you encouraged by what you’ve achieved? Are you still dreaming? Keep it up – look forward.
Homes of Victory implores you during this unsettling, full to overflowing time of the unexpected that you take stock of what really matters in your life. Those plans you had, may need to go on hold, or morph into something more spectacular. Remember life is not what we own, wear, or do. We influence those around us, more than we can imagine. Seek assistance when and if you need to. We’ve been finding that although we feel we don’t need professional help at this point, we have been catching up with the encouragers and positive people in our lives, to boost us and to inspire us during this season.
Who in your network inspires and encourages you? Who do you inspire and encourages? It may be the perfect time to catch up and talk about this season. You’ll gain perspective and hopefully a smile.
We may feel that our world is crumbling , but one thing remains – who we are in terms of character and integrity. It may be the time to take a long hard positive look in the mirror. This season will not last forever, this season will change us in ways we didn’t expect, let it change you for the better, learn the lessons of this season, they will not go unused in the future.
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There are only two ways to influence human behaviour: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.
Simon Sinek
Homes of Victory 