Tag: empathy

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Victory

What is it about you?

This is a question I love to ask, but hate to answer… We all have a unique personality, with unique skill sets and abilities. What is it about you, that firstly makes you, you and secondly, who are you to other people? The influence you have in your world – the influence you have on those around you – at home, work and play – you may never know its extent. What we do know is, we have capacity to influence those around us – whichever way we choose

Does it matter to you, what type of influence you have?

At times we don’t know what influence we have, other times we find out, other times we receive feedback that is critical or unkind. How do you respond to that?

I often respond with reflection – firstly is the criticism fair, is it true, is it partly true? Of course it hurts and at times, we need to choose not to let it affect us, other times, we need to take it on board and use it to grow.

So then, What is it about you? What makes you unique? What type of influence do you have in your world?

Please don’t move on from this question without spending a little time reflecting on who you are, the influence you have and the amazing contribution you make to those in your world.

I hold that a strongly marked personality can influence descendants for generations.

Beatrix Potter
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Victory

#kidlogic: emergency

I grew up in a home where nothing was an emergency unless it really was life or death. Sympathy was one thing that was rarely dished out. So, in learning through the days of motherhood, I’ve come to realise that I too, don’t see many things as an emergency, or dish out sympathy lightly.

My four year old on the other hand, thinks everything is an emergency. So when she screams it from the yard, everyone in the street is alerted to the ‘emergency’. The latest so called emergency was the fact my two year old spilt water over his bike. When Lalee screamed ‘emergency’ I went to her and asked what the emergency was. The response… “ Moe’s bike has water leaking (it was wet from the rain). I think we need to call the bike plumber”.

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Victory

#kidlogic: kangaroo

This conversation happened in the car and I am so thankful the kids couldn’t see my face…

Lalee(L):“ Mum can I ride a kangaroo?”

Mum(M): No darling you can’t”

L :“ Can I when I’m bigger?”

M:“ No darling,  no one rides Kangaroos”

Moe (M):“ I bigger”.

L:“ Can babies?”

M:“ No – kangaroo’s backs are not strong enough to have people ride them”

L:“ Oh…. I know who can?”

M:“ Who?”
L:“ God can”

Trying not to laugh I asked why…

L: “He has no bottom.”

M” I bottom”.

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Victory

#kidlogic

We thought we would add some fun to Homes of Victory this year. At times we can overthink, how we parent, how we are as people and how we can always be just that little bit better.

What sparked this new series called Kid Logic, was a big clean out – yes Marie Kondo style over our summer. During which I found a whole heap of notes and stories I had written down about the kids when they were younger. The smiles it gave me and the laugh out loud moments I captured – need to be shared… why?

So you know that we know parenting is interesting, parenting can be frustrating and parenting is an experience like no other.

For privacy – I’ve called the characters (aka my kids) Lalee, Moe and Sparkie. You’ll see their personalities shine, you’ll relate the them and us, but most of all we hope you enjoy and remember we are living the dream… even if it looks a little different to what we imagined…

Lastly, please share your kidlogic moments with us – we would love to hear all about them.

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Victory

Word of the year

Our words often frame who we are and how those around us see us and are influenced by us. Our words are so powerful. On my first day back at work for 2021 I was challenged by a work mate who simply asked me ” What is your word for the year?” It wasn’t something I had ever really thought about. I often think of words and their definition and how I live by them – but I have never decided upon a word for a year. My lovely work mate, shared her word for 2021- positive. She wants to see life in a positive frame, rather than the fear she felt she had during 2020. I love this concept, and the responses from other staff really encouraged me and showed me that at times we may not need a new years resolution or new year goals, but rather a new way of thinking, a simple word to hold onto.

The question I now ask, is do you have a word for the year?

I’ll share mine – although these two words have been my word of the year in a way for many years.

The two words I love most are enable and empower. These two words tucked away in my heart – determine how I see the world, how I see what I do and how I interact with those around me. These words are so powerful many ways. I’ll give you the definition here to add context to the power of these two words:

Enable: to make able; give power, means, competence, ability to // to make possible or easy // to encourage or support

dictionary.com

Empower: to give power or authority to

dictionary.com

For word nerds like me, both of these words are verbs – action words. They represent something that is done. (I’ll never forget the ROTE learning of ‘ a verb is a doing word’). I personally love these two words and aim in my home, workplace and world to enable and empower those around me. If I can give just a little encouragement, a little power through my support, increase the confidence of those around me to achieve their goals – I feel my job is done. If I can be generous in unexpected ways to enc0urage or support, if I can make a way for goals to be achieved, if I can cheer you on to give you authority over your fears – then my job is done.

I hope this encourages you and inspires you to think about a word that you would like to hold onto this year, a word that represents the year you aim to have – despite the circumstances around us.

Ler us know in the comments your word of the year – we can’t wait to hear what they are!

Categories
Victory

Brave

I was out riding in the bush with my Dad leading the way. I must say after a while, I was very conscious of how much fitter he is, than me. We were having a great time, exploring, he was ahead of me, and called out to go down a different path. All I could see up ahead as I rounded the bend was a massive hill. My Dad knowing me as he does, turned around and said: “It’s not as big as you think”. I laughed… does he not remember how unfit I am… He was right, as we rode up the hill, it actually wasn’t as difficult or as steep as I first thought. What he said next, was a revelation of brave. We stopped at the top for a breather and he said:

I have to be brave to say that. Every time I see it I think it’s too big, but every time I do it I remember it’s not so bad.

Homes of Victory – Dad

It got me thinking, how often do we see challenges in life, events that happen, people around us, as something ‘ massive’ – something bigger than it is, something more daunting than it really needs to be?

Do we look at everything with defeated thinking – for me in that moment of looking at the hill, my first thought was I’ll have to hop off my bike and walk – so embarrassing next to my fitter than me Dad… The thing, is we may KNOW it, we may REMEMBER it, but when we see it we fear. At this point, we all have a choice – do we choose BRAVE or do we choose to STAND DOWN?

I don’t know about you, but I want to choose brave – in the little things and in the big things. I want to explore the mountain tops that were worth the challenge, I was the people around me to be valued, I want the events that occur in my life to be added to the lessons learnt file.

So in light of this revelation of brave – what choices will you make today – to choose brave?

Categories
Victory

Merry Christmas from our family to yours

For to us a child is born,
    to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
    Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Isaiah 9:6
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Victory

Revive the roots

Hey just checking into see how your end of 2020 is going? Here in Australia along with other countries around the world, COVID is popping up again, and making life a little hectic and stressful. Like everyone touched by COVID, our Christmas plans are becoming more vauge as final decisions cannot be made yet. Life has it’s way of throwing curve balls at us, but at the end of the day its how we respond.

We get it that, we are sick of responding in a half hearted positive way as our energy is sapped with the trying part. We get it that so many changes to what we planned, what we dreamed of, what we are working towards – is draining. We are coming to the end of the year exhaused and wanting to nap.

During this time of uncertainty, take a moment to remember what you are thankful for. List them out. Even if it is one thing. Write it down. Remember it during this time.

Also, take time to rest, not just your body but your mind. Do something that allows you to rest – walk, sleep, exercise – whatever it is – rest.

Lastly, we want to encourage you at the end of the year – to revive your roots. The strength you have found during this year – needs to be acknowledged, the hard days you’ve got through, the unexpected fun days, the changes you’ve made to your family life, the changes to your role at work, the changes to your employment – all needs acknowledgment. These influences have contributed to foundational changes in your ability to deal with stress, change and flexibility due to cirumstances beyond your control – Hooray. See it for what it is. Your roots are going deeper, your capacity has enlarged and you’ve gained life experience that perhaps other generations will never know.

End this year, knowing you’ve grown, you’ve changed and your stronger for it.

We would love to know how your year has gone for you and what skills you have picked up along the way…

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Victory

Victory in the making

We thought a great way to end the year here at Homes of Victory is to revisit out top 5 posts. Each day this week we will be re-posting your fav posts.

They are in a nutshell:

  1. Why: Victory
  2. Manage and Lead
  3. About us: Justin & Alicia
  4. Moody Teenager
  5. Brave and Leadership trait: Patience tied in the number 5 spot.

Please enjoy these posts if you haven’t already.

x Homes of Victory

Categories
Victory

Habit Kickers

It’s that time of year when we are winding down, getting a little bit reflective about the year it was. Can I just pause here and emphasis the words ‘ the year that was’. No one could have predicted what would occur globally in 2020, nor could we have predicted the type of year we as individuals and families would have.

One thing we do, to take control in a way of life – is to set goals. Goals help us focus, help us navigate the noise of life and find success. Here at Homes of Victory we have shared often about goal setting, how your family measures success and living in victory. This post flips that concept on its head, as we start to reflect on the year that was, and look at habits we may have formed, habits we have quietly agreed to – habit unlike goals that may not be the best for us.

I know this year, I have been guilty of dropping the discipline a little by drinking way too much tea, eating way too much chocolate and cheese, and watching way too much Netflix while ignoring every type of exercise ( pretty sure I’m now allergic to sweat) and the ever-growing number of baskets of washing that needs folding… It doesn’t seem like much, but my thinking behind it, is a little dangerous/ unhealthy/ alarming… for want of a better word. I keep saying to myself, it’s ok, if I need to stop because I can and I will. It’s okay, I will start to exercise when I want to – I rarely do – well not like I used to. These habits cannot be broken by one thought – I’ve realized as time has kept ticking, the days have kept passing, that breaking my Covid habits may not be as easy as I would like it to be. 

Habits are one of those things that can be positive or negative. Habits – happen little by little. When my kids were little and I was trying to get them to sleep all night in their own beds, I read that after three nights a habit was formed. Never worked with my kids by the way… Another theory floating around is it takes 21 days for it to become a solid habit and another 90 days to become part of normal life. Either way, there are somethings about habits – whether positive or negative that we need to remember at this time of year – especially as we take time to reflect on the year that was and the year ahead:

Habits need:

  • Commitment to be formed and broken.
  • Time to be formed and broken.
  • Discipline to be formed and broken.

What habits have you formed this year that are positive?

What negative habits have you formed this year?

Think about the actions you need to take to make negative habit more positive? 

Categories
Building community

connection

I grew up in the era of dial up internet – the one where you connect over the home phone line, the one where you got to hear it dial up and connect. It was probably the first time in my life, I realised how impatient I was, that was until these days when wi-fi doesn’t work how it should – that’s a whole other story.

As a kid I knew that the dial up sound, meant connection – to the world wide web. I knew that the connection needed to occur before anything else could. In our fast paced, internet reliant society, the art of connection seems to have been lost. We can text a friend, without asking how they are, we can rush through grocery shopping and not say hi to the cashier, we can scoot through school pick up and not even have to wave to anyone we know, we can even add comments online anonymously. Where has the real connection gone? I even question where has the desire for connection gone?

Sadly, it seems we are all somehow ever so subtly moving towards connection through devices and social media, emails and other group chats etc… Don’t get me wrong, the advancements in technology have greatly benefited the world, families and business, on the flip side though for these great advancements and benefits have come at a social cost.

Is lack of real connection one of the reasons, mental health statistics are increasing faster than ever before? Is it one of the reasons why families are crumbling faster than they can be built? Is it one of the reasons why kids are committing suicide younger and younger and depression rates for 15 – 25 year olds is through the rood?

How can we connect to each other in an already “connected” world? How can we disconnect from the technology around us, even for a moment, to simply connect with our loved ones and friends in a way that equals real connection. The type that fills the soul with joy, the type that encourages and uplifts, the type that fills the love tank.

Connection is needed on so many levels – in family life, in the workplace, in the friendship circles, in the village we are crafting for our children to grow up in. For the support during tough times and the celebrations during the good times – an emoji cannot replicate a real smile, a real high five, a hug or a shared meal.

What if we all for one day, put our tech away – not just on silent, but away, and really made an effort to connect with those around us? What difference do you think it could make?

Think about ways you could connect more with those around you?

Categories
Victory

I wonder…

Here at Homes of Victory we love to share thoughts and real life with you. This was written by a career woman, who has three young children. She always questioned how to balance life and work, children and career. This is shared with permission and we hope it encourages you and inspires you.

Hey my babies one, two and three.

I wonder if you’ll ever know how much I love you. When the day dawns and the crazy begins I hope you see it’s love that motivates me. When we’re all tired but we need to keep going I know you feel the warmth in my hands when I hug you, the empathy in my voice when I encourage you and the pride that radiates from my heart.

I feel the guilt of work and yet another kind of guilt if I don’t. As I pick you all up after a long day I breathe you all in – one, two, three I miss you dreadfully yet worry I won’t find the strength to make it to bed time. I know at times I’m cranky more than I should be. I know at times I’m in auto pilot. I never wish time away but some days I only want my bed. I wonder if you’ll ever see that I draw my strength from Christ and no one else. I wonder if you see the love I have for you that drives me every moment to keep on going. I’d never quit, never thought to but some days I’ve had to dig deeper than I knew possible just to get you through the day and off to sleep peacefully.

When I hear you wake during the night it is love that draws me to your side. I sleepily step towards your room saying mumma coming it’s okay. My eyes are full of sleep but my heart is always about you my one, two, three.

If it’s a bottle, nappy or cuddle I’m right there. I wonder if you’ll remember my hugs with two hands holding you tight knowing tomorrow you’ll be that little bit bigger and that little bit older.

My babies one, two, three I wonder if you ever notice my long tight hugs. They’re more than just annoying they’re me holding you close to me. One day hugs just won’t be the same so I cherish each one. So much about you is hidden in my heart. Saved and savored. Every day you remind me to laugh and find joy in the little things.

Then, when I tuck you in tight and kiss you goodnight, you whisper with your eyes closed ,”I love you Mumma”. Then, and only then, do I realise, I have wondered in vain and I realise I have been too hard on myself. Forever I will love you one, two, three. Forever you will be my motivation, my joy, my completeness. It won’t matter how big you grow or how fast the years go by – I will always know my heart belongs to you on, two and three. I know your heart too, will always have a special place for me.

Love your Mumma Bear

Categories
Victory

carve out time

It has been interesting how in the returning to some what normal, the busy has crept back into our lives – almost without us realising. One thing we have noticed in our home especially is that lack of time we as parents put aside for each other. Time to chat, time to hang out, time to relax. Time to invest into our relationship.

This was highlighted to us, in a conversation had with a health professional. We were talking about camping and she mentioned how she loved to go with her teenage kids. She kept mentioning ” we” so innocently, we asked who “we” is. The look of dispair came across her face, and she said, my husband and I are only just ‘ we’ at the moment. I work 12 hour days and we never get to see each other. We are trying to find time together but it is near impossible. She continued that they are committed to trying to make their marriage work, and not let growing apart be the reason they are no longer together.

How many of us, inch into that zone without realising, work, life, everything else seems to be ‘ important’ but we miss the real ‘importance’ of continually building relationships with those we live with, with those we love to do life with, those we have committed till death do us part.

Today’s encouragement is this: carve out some time to invest into those you do life with. It may be a 10 minute coffee, it may be a family game, it may be booking a date night – be proactive today and do something to show your committment to family, committment to marriage, committment to what is really important.

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Leadership

Leadership trait: Humility

Every person that you meet knows something you don’t: learn from them.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

Humility is attractive. Humility is a magnet for integrity, collaboration, appreciation, and acknowledgement.  Humility attracts staff, who will want to work with you, look forward to being around you and motivated by you. They know you will acknowledge their efforts, appreciate their hard work, and offer a human side to leadership.

Likewise, when we are humble in our homes, humble toward our children, we show them reality, the realness of life. Yes, difficulties arise, and challenges are met – not perfectly but to the best of our abilities. Granted it may take humiliation to encourage our humility but if our families witness it firsthand, how much more are they going to value us as parents. How much more are they going to value humility and being humble themselves. In turn they will begin to value integrity, want to receive our appreciation, be acknowledged, and finally behave like this towards others.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.

C. S. Lewis

Never curse a fall. The ground is where humility lives. 

Yasmin Mogahed