Homes of Victory
Sparkie@4yrs old (S): Hey Mum I really want to ride a flamingo
Mum(M): Oh darling, I don’t think they would like that
S: Why?
M: They’re not that big and you are heavy
S: I’m four, it should be okay
M: Maybe think of another animal to ride, like a horse
S: Hey Mum, can I touch a sloth
M: Probably not, I don’t think they like being touched.
S: Can you go tell the zoo I want to touch a sloth, quietly when its asleep
M: Oh the zoo is a long way away and I can’t do that now
S: Ok Mum, tomorrow?
You don’t have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.
Scott Adams
Every year we celebrate Chinese New Year as my husband and his family are from a Malaysian / Chinese heritage. Upon explaining to Lalee who had just turned 4 why we celebrate Chinese New Year… she asked Why… My response was because Daddy is Chinese, and you and your brother are half Chinese.
“ What about you?” she replied
“ I’m Australian” I said.
After taking some time to think about it… Lalee finally said, “ You can be my half… So, I’ll be half Chinese and so can you”… aww sweetness.
Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow.
Chinese Proverb
Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.
Charlotte Brontë, author of Jane Eyre
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
General George Smith Patton, Jr.
I love the mind of a child. I love watching and learning. At times I ask my children to do something, and the way they do it is rather surprising. As adults we can assume that children know how to do it the way we want it done, without telling them. Other times, we are perplexed why they don’t know how to do something we’ve shown them ten times over.
An example of this, is a recent three day screen ban in our home. I won’t go into why the ban was put in place, but what I will say is be prepared to follow through on a threat – even it is causes you pain! Any way, on day one, when I was told, “I’m bored”, ” I don’t know what to do”. The resounding response was go outside and play. We are very blessed with a back yard, and in that yard we have a grassed area big enough to kick a ball and gardens filled with native plants and a mature mango tree. Before I knew it, my two eldest children were designing a treehouse, they were pestering my husband for use of a drill and had called their grandpa and organised for him to bring over some items they needed to build it. Within the three days, a basic tree house was built. No screens, no fights, no tantrums, no disobedience. Plain and simple – getting along, communicating, teamwork and fun.
They surprised me no end, and I was very proud how they copped the ban on the chin, and focused on what they could do, rather than what they knew the couldn’t ( or rather were not allowed to do)
Sometimes, we need to remember in life, we don’t need to over complicate things, by adding the ‘ how’ into every conversation, but rather take a deep breath – ask, tell, direct, whatever the basic instruction maybe – and let the how take care of itself.
We thought we would add some fun to Homes of Victory this year. At times we can overthink, how we parent, how we are as people and how we can always be just that little bit better.
What sparked this new series called Kid Logic, was a big clean out – yes Marie Kondo style over our summer. During which I found a whole heap of notes and stories I had written down about the kids when they were younger. The smiles it gave me and the laugh out loud moments I captured – need to be shared… why?
So you know that we know parenting is interesting, parenting can be frustrating and parenting is an experience like no other.
For privacy – I’ve called the characters (aka my kids) Lalee, Moe and Sparkie. You’ll see their personalities shine, you’ll relate the them and us, but most of all we hope you enjoy and remember we are living the dream… even if it looks a little different to what we imagined…
Lastly, please share your kidlogic moments with us – we would love to hear all about them.
In my home we love watching AFL and Rugby League – suffice to say we love football. What I do love to watch is the coaches barking orders during the game and watching the emotion of the game – the highs and lows on their faces. This is only a tiny window in to the work of the coach – the time the effort and energy they put into their team. The aim of the coach is to make their team the best – the best in the competition. To do that, each individual player needs to be their best, on top of their game and contribute to the team as a whole.
As leaders, whether in our work life or in our homes, it is our responsibility to develop those around us to succeed, and to prepare them for their future roles. When my children start to argue about the disciple or rules in our home, more often than not I reply with – “ It is my role to turn you into a good adult…” We are their coaches, their mentors, their supporters, their cheerleaders.
I am sure we could all name and shame a leader in our working life who is not a coach and makes no effort to be a coach. The one thing I’ve learnt from that kind of leader is what not to do. Let’s make an effort to be generous with our skills, develop those around us, encourage them to flourish in their own skill sets and prepare them for their future.
Not only will our own children benefit from this attitude in our homes, but those in the workplace who look up to us, whether we are in a leadership position or not – will benefit.
I am amazing at thinking about goals, spending time writing them succinctly and then rarely achieving them. I think I am more addicted to adding the checkbox next to my thoughts than the actual task of doing what I set out to do. Don’t get me wrong, I do achieve goals and am happy with how I am tracking, but if you were to see my list of somewhat outrageous goals, you shouldn’t be surprised to see that about 40% go unachieved and will probably never be achieved. I am okay with this – for now.
I feel at this point I have the habit of writing goals I just need to work on the second half of the idea of actually achieving them! One thing I will say on this is, one of the Dad’s from Homes of Victory, sets a new goal every birthday – one where he can look back at, on the next birthday and see a difference. His aim is to build a habit out of the achieved goal as the year progresses. I must say he is very disciplined and the changes have been visible. They start off as goals and evolve into habits.
The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.
Og Mandino
I am encouraging you ( and myself) to develop more than just a new years resolution. I am encouraging you to set an achievable goal or goals that throughout the year become habits. Don’t let the simplicity of it, seduce you into turning your goals into bigger and better, becoming too big to manage and eventually never achieved.
Make setting achievable goals – your goal for 2021. Even if you only achieve one goal all year – it is better to achieve one goal, than none at all.
Happy New Year! What an exciting year 2021 is set to be. We can’t wait to see how this year unfolds.
We thought we would share, a beautiful image of summer in Australia. We have followers from all over the world, and one thing we love here at Homes of Victory is taking time out to recharge – and our choice of destination in summer is the beach. For those you in the middle of winter right now, we hope this warms your heart.
May we all remember this year to plan to recharge and include it in our family habits.
Thanks for tuning into Homes of Victory 2021, we have some exciting things in the pipeline to encourage you and support you as families.
Enjoy the start of the brand new year!
We’ve had a whole heap of new followers lately – hello and welcome to Homes of Victory.
I’m Alicia and I’m one of the co-founders of Homes of Victory. In real life I can be a little shy, but when I write the whole creative process turns me into a completely different person.
So when I was asked to share a little more about myself here at Homes of Victory – I firstly went blank, but then I thought I would invite you in and give you a glimpse into my world.
In a nutshell, I am a mumma bear to three incredible kids who challenge me to be a better person every day. I married my sweetheart fifteen years ago and have enjoyed the adventure ever since. As a family we strive to encourage, be generous and always be on the look out for the next adventure.
Homes of Victory was developed out of many conversations I had over a period of year with friends, acquaintances and strangers. The common thread to me was two fold – without encouragement it is easy to give up, and many of us parents don’t realize other parents experience the same sorts of things – some just hide it better than others.
In case you haven’t noticed, I love people and family. I also love being a leader of people, a manager of things, being creative and especially being encouraging to those around me. The Homes of Victory platforms allows me to do everything I love.
I am so thankful for your support and ongoing kindness. Here at Homes of Victory we cannot wait to see what the rest of the year brings.
Patience is a conquering virtue.
Geoffrey Chaucer
The thing about patience is, you can only learn to be patient by being patient. Patience is a skill and an art all in one. Growing up, us kids knew when my Dad was being patient, he would clear his throat. As though he was just giving us a little time to start behaving, as we knew better, or waiting for us to say what we needed to say or a little time for him to choose his words wisely. His leadership in this area, has impacted the way I do things. Granted I am not as patient as him, but I try to allow time to pass before making decisions, before correcting my kids, before doing most things. Patience allows time – time for strategic thinking, time for clear evaluation, time for things to settle on their own, time for things to work out. Demonstrating patience in the workplace and home, shows strength. The key is to know when patience or action is required.
Patience is the companion of wisdom.
Anonymous
We are a dynamic parenting duo with three incredible kids in our lives. We have embarked on diverse careers paths including project management, product design, program coordination, innovation economy development and leading people at the same time as building a family while continuing our careers. Along the way we somehow lost sight of the goals we had before parenthood, we lost sight of who we are as individuals and as a couple, aside from children. After a couple of years of intense stress, we stopped to take a deep breath and set aside time to reset due to the growing realisation that if we didn’t make the necessary adjustments, we could risk losing each other and everything we had dedicated to achieve. Now we want to support those of you experiencing similar challenges and changes that comes with having children. We are focused on supporting parents in the season of kids (of any age), we get that it can be joyful, overwhelming, exciting, scary, eye opening and downright hard. Join us on this adventure, that in one sense is living the dream and in another sense so crazy and wild that we wish we could press the pause button… just for a minute.
I was out riding in the bush with my Dad leading the way. I must say after a while, I was very conscious of how much fitter he is, than me. We were having a great time, exploring, he was ahead of me, and called out to go down a different path. All I could see up ahead as I rounded the bend was a massive hill. My Dad knowing me as he does, turned around and said: “It’s not as big as you think”. I laughed… does he not remember how unfit I am… He was right, as we rode up the hill, it actually wasn’t as difficult or as steep as I first thought. What he said next, was a revelation of brave. We stopped at the top for a breather and he said:
I have to be brave to say that. Every time I see it I think it’s too big, but every time I do it I remember it’s not so bad.
Homes of Victory – Dad
It got me thinking, how often do we see challenges in life, events that happen, people around us, as something ‘ massive’ – something bigger than it is, something more daunting than it really needs to be?
Do we look at everything with defeated thinking – for me in that moment of looking at the hill, my first thought was I’ll have to hop off my bike and walk – so embarrassing next to my fitter than me Dad… The thing, is we may KNOW it, we may REMEMBER it, but when we see it we fear. At this point, we all have a choice – do we choose BRAVE or do we choose to STAND DOWN?
I don’t know about you, but I want to choose brave – in the little things and in the big things. I want to explore the mountain tops that were worth the challenge, I was the people around me to be valued, I want the events that occur in my life to be added to the lessons learnt file.
So in light of this revelation of brave – what choices will you make today – to choose brave?
On a family holiday in 2019 my husband took the time to take each kid out for a treat – just one on one time. His ulterior motive was to chat to the kids about our family values and how they were tracking. We often use our kids responses in these moments to see how we are tracking as a team. We take stock of how my husband and I can work better as a team and lead our kids… this treat time becomes almost like a performance appraisal without the kids really knowing… wanna know how it went??
Miss 9 went first. The conversation was going well with many positives and a chat about how we as parents can be silly but also strict – when we need to. My husband asked Miss 9 if she had any other questions… “ Yes, why do you behave like a moody teenager?”. A little stunned my husband responded with – “I like to be silly and have fun… “ no Dad, the times you get moody”…. The silence was followed by a nearby stranger stifling a laugh… Looking around to find the source of the laugh, the kind stranger looked at Miss 9 and said, “you need to listen to your Daddy, he is saying some very wise things”. Miss 9 smiled and said “I know.”
A great conversation with the stranger ensued and it turned out that he missed these kinds of opportunities with his kids and wife who now live in another country. He recently left his high flying corporate job to work with families in this space… connecting and thriving – while enabling parents to also thrive under the stress of the season of kids.
Now to Mister 7… he was up next. While eating ice cream… the planned conversation began … his response “ Look at that bird Dad, if he doesn’t move he will be smashed by the tram…”
Trying again, the conversation continued about how in the family it’s okay to be silly and at times we need to be strict… “I don’t think that bird values his life Dad”… not one to give up easily, my husband tried again… “ yes Dad I love you and everything is good”… sweet… performance appraisal complete… although we both think the bird was more thoroughly analysed.
Next was Miss 3… she arrived home after her walk with Dad yelling,” I did dancing and (jump) and(jump) and (jump) I touched a dine-saur (deep breath while jumping) and it tried to eat my body”… so there you have it success all round….
On a serious note, we can sometimes sail through the routine of life and forget to take stock of how the kids are feeling. Are they enjoying family life, are they getting the rest they need, the attention they need. Why are we mentioning this when the focus of this blog is parents in this season.
We believe the kids will reflect the reality of the family. If as parents you’re stressed it will be reflected. If you’re moody and tired… it will be noticed… the list goes on. The next conversation on my husbands list is a with me… even though they can be tough at times the outcome is always amazing. New goals are set, clearer values are developed and it’s like the whole team is now set for the next year.
Who’s next on your ‘to have conversation with’ list?
Homes of Victory