Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.
John Maxwell
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Tag: communication
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#kidlogic: lizards
“ Mum… my friend Lucy is a thorny devil.”
“A what?”
“ A thorny devil”
“ Really”
“ Yes, her Grammy told her that she was, and if she wasn’t careful she would be thrown into the fire”
“ Well that’s not very nice..” doubting the conversation was relayed correctly.
“ No it’s not.”
Two weeks later… I’m serious she thinks about things in depth…
“ Mum where do Thorny Devils live?”
“ I don’t know sweetheart.”
“ I think they are naughty people… where do naughty people live?”
“ Naughty people can live anywhere..”
“ Oh, I’m glad there are none in Brisbane.” She sounded so relieved… as she simply decided how life is.
“ I hope you don’t call any one a Thorny Devil… it’s not a nice thing to say.”
“ Oh no I don’t, but Lucy does.”
“ Well make sure you always use kind words.”
“ Okay Mum”
A week later and it finally clicked in my mind that a thorny devil is a lizard, gee I need to scrub up on my animal species. It all makes perfect sense… now. Upon sharing my new found knowledge with Lalee, the response was:
“ What! Do naughty people get turned into lizards… Oh my goodness.”
Sigh…. This is going to be a long conversation.
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Don’t trade in your integrity for influence.
Richie Norton
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#kidlogic: home
Lalee:“ Mum why do houses stay in the one place ALL day?”
Try answering that questions when your 3 year old asks you in all seriousness… I decided to take the, because they have deep foundations in the ground and don’t have legs route…
Lalee: “ Well that’s boring”…
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#kidlogic: coffee
I love it how Dads play with their kids. It is so different to how Mums play… the only thing is they get sucked in before they realise – cue the bad guy laughter…
Act1: Playing cafes in the lounge room with Dad
Dad(D): Hi can I buy some coffee?
Lalee(L): That will be one hundred million dollars
D: Do you think that’s a bit much for coffee?
L: Guess you won’t be buying coffee then.
Lalee gracefully walked off and started to play another game. Her poor Dad was left a little confused. Later he confessed, he nearly asked if that that is how you play shops… but thought better of it. He wanted to enjoy his real ‘ far cheaper’ coffee in peace.
Act 2: Another day of playing cafe’s…
L“ Dad… would you like to order a coffee?”
D“ Sure, one coffee please”
L“ That will be one million dollars.”
D“ Really?”
L“ Yes.” Was the adamant response.
D“ That’s expensive coffee, could I get a discount?”
L“ No”
D“ Oh that’s a shame…”
L“ Oh! well no coffee then…”
So much for compassion, generosity and kindness….
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#kidlogic: animals
Sparkie@4yrs old (S): Hey Mum I really want to ride a flamingo
Mum(M): Oh darling, I don’t think they would like that
S: Why?
M: They’re not that big and you are heavy
S: I’m four, it should be okay
M: Maybe think of another animal to ride, like a horse
S: Hey Mum, can I touch a sloth
M: Probably not, I don’t think they like being touched.
S: Can you go tell the zoo I want to touch a sloth, quietly when its asleep
M: Oh the zoo is a long way away and I can’t do that now
S: Ok Mum, tomorrow?
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You don’t have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they’ve taught me.
Scott Adams
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#kidlogic: fractions
Every year we celebrate Chinese New Year as my husband and his family are from a Malaysian / Chinese heritage. Upon explaining to Lalee who had just turned 4 why we celebrate Chinese New Year… she asked Why… My response was because Daddy is Chinese, and you and your brother are half Chinese.
“ What about you?” she replied
“ I’m Australian” I said.
After taking some time to think about it… Lalee finally said, “ You can be my half… So, I’ll be half Chinese and so can you”… aww sweetness.
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Not the cry, but the flight of the wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow.
Chinese Proverb
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Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive.
Charlotte Brontë, author of Jane Eyre
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it’s not how
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
General George Smith Patton, Jr.
I love the mind of a child. I love watching and learning. At times I ask my children to do something, and the way they do it is rather surprising. As adults we can assume that children know how to do it the way we want it done, without telling them. Other times, we are perplexed why they don’t know how to do something we’ve shown them ten times over.
An example of this, is a recent three day screen ban in our home. I won’t go into why the ban was put in place, but what I will say is be prepared to follow through on a threat – even it is causes you pain! Any way, on day one, when I was told, “I’m bored”, ” I don’t know what to do”. The resounding response was go outside and play. We are very blessed with a back yard, and in that yard we have a grassed area big enough to kick a ball and gardens filled with native plants and a mature mango tree. Before I knew it, my two eldest children were designing a treehouse, they were pestering my husband for use of a drill and had called their grandpa and organised for him to bring over some items they needed to build it. Within the three days, a basic tree house was built. No screens, no fights, no tantrums, no disobedience. Plain and simple – getting along, communicating, teamwork and fun.
They surprised me no end, and I was very proud how they copped the ban on the chin, and focused on what they could do, rather than what they knew the couldn’t ( or rather were not allowed to do)
Sometimes, we need to remember in life, we don’t need to over complicate things, by adding the ‘ how’ into every conversation, but rather take a deep breath – ask, tell, direct, whatever the basic instruction maybe – and let the how take care of itself.
We thought we would add some fun to Homes of Victory this year. At times we can overthink, how we parent, how we are as people and how we can always be just that little bit better.
What sparked this new series called Kid Logic, was a big clean out – yes Marie Kondo style over our summer. During which I found a whole heap of notes and stories I had written down about the kids when they were younger. The smiles it gave me and the laugh out loud moments I captured – need to be shared… why?
So you know that we know parenting is interesting, parenting can be frustrating and parenting is an experience like no other.
For privacy – I’ve called the characters (aka my kids) Lalee, Moe and Sparkie. You’ll see their personalities shine, you’ll relate the them and us, but most of all we hope you enjoy and remember we are living the dream… even if it looks a little different to what we imagined…
Lastly, please share your kidlogic moments with us – we would love to hear all about them.
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Leadership Trait: Coaching
In my home we love watching AFL and Rugby League – suffice to say we love football. What I do love to watch is the coaches barking orders during the game and watching the emotion of the game – the highs and lows on their faces. This is only a tiny window in to the work of the coach – the time the effort and energy they put into their team. The aim of the coach is to make their team the best – the best in the competition. To do that, each individual player needs to be their best, on top of their game and contribute to the team as a whole.
As leaders, whether in our work life or in our homes, it is our responsibility to develop those around us to succeed, and to prepare them for their future roles. When my children start to argue about the disciple or rules in our home, more often than not I reply with – “ It is my role to turn you into a good adult…” We are their coaches, their mentors, their supporters, their cheerleaders.
I am sure we could all name and shame a leader in our working life who is not a coach and makes no effort to be a coach. The one thing I’ve learnt from that kind of leader is what not to do. Let’s make an effort to be generous with our skills, develop those around us, encourage them to flourish in their own skill sets and prepare them for their future.
Not only will our own children benefit from this attitude in our homes, but those in the workplace who look up to us, whether we are in a leadership position or not – will benefit.
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Goal Habits
I am amazing at thinking about goals, spending time writing them succinctly and then rarely achieving them. I think I am more addicted to adding the checkbox next to my thoughts than the actual task of doing what I set out to do. Don’t get me wrong, I do achieve goals and am happy with how I am tracking, but if you were to see my list of somewhat outrageous goals, you shouldn’t be surprised to see that about 40% go unachieved and will probably never be achieved. I am okay with this – for now.
I feel at this point I have the habit of writing goals I just need to work on the second half of the idea of actually achieving them! One thing I will say on this is, one of the Dad’s from Homes of Victory, sets a new goal every birthday – one where he can look back at, on the next birthday and see a difference. His aim is to build a habit out of the achieved goal as the year progresses. I must say he is very disciplined and the changes have been visible. They start off as goals and evolve into habits.
The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them.
Og Mandino
I am encouraging you ( and myself) to develop more than just a new years resolution. I am encouraging you to set an achievable goal or goals that throughout the year become habits. Don’t let the simplicity of it, seduce you into turning your goals into bigger and better, becoming too big to manage and eventually never achieved.
Make setting achievable goals – your goal for 2021. Even if you only achieve one goal all year – it is better to achieve one goal, than none at all.
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Hello 2021
Happy New Year! What an exciting year 2021 is set to be. We can’t wait to see how this year unfolds.
We thought we would share, a beautiful image of summer in Australia. We have followers from all over the world, and one thing we love here at Homes of Victory is taking time out to recharge – and our choice of destination in summer is the beach. For those you in the middle of winter right now, we hope this warms your heart.
May we all remember this year to plan to recharge and include it in our family habits.
Thanks for tuning into Homes of Victory 2021, we have some exciting things in the pipeline to encourage you and support you as families.
Enjoy the start of the brand new year!
Homes of Victory 