Author: Admin

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Victory

Context vs. Perspective: Keys to Finding Clarity

Way back in 2020 we wrote about being Consistent & Persistent. To this day I still stand by the value of this advice that was given to me when my kids were little and have applied it to so many areas of my life. This post adds to that perspective the concept of perspective and context.

In life, it is the micro and macro choices we make that lead us to where we are. The house we live in, the route we drive our kids to school, the school they attend, where we buy groceries, where we park our cars, the list of decisions we make seems endless day in day out. The routine of life can become… well boring and repetitve at times. So what do we do when we find ourselves in a position, we don’t like, where were wake up and go, this is not how I wanted my life to be…I hear your mind start to crank over the answer to that. At times, the reality is that the wind and waves of life happen – the unexpected, the tragic, the triumphant moments, all combine to form where things are at in our lives in this very moment. Yet when we start to question and feel, this is not what I wanted my life to be like, we often forget do have a choice. Even when the bank knocks back a loan, when the job offer didn’t work out, when the flat tyre made you late for an important meeting… we need to choose to not feel stuck and know we always have a choice.

Tapping into the perspective vs context concept. I must admit, not too long ago, I was in the middle of the thought patten, of, this is not what I thought life would be like. I was backwards and forwards for weeks in my thought patterns between feeling stuck to feeling I’m brave enough to do something about it. When chatting off the cuff to a mentor, she said these words: “You can change your perspective, or context, or both, but not changing anything, won’t change anything.” It felt like a BINGO moment. The light bulb came on. I couldn’t keep sitting in my frustration, and “lack of” thinking – it wasn’t helping anyone let alone myself. I had a choice. I could step out into the unknown, brave and fearless – I like to call this drastic change (in other words changing the context), or I could change the way I thought about my position (my perspective) – reevaluate what success means to me, reflect on why I am where I am in life, look back on the decisions that have lead me to this point – and look deeper at the reasons why I feel stuck.

In all honestly, I was ready to change my context – quit a few things, start over, take some time off the committment list, but after carefully considering my context and perspective. I sought to change my perspective, dug into my goals a little deeper, and have continued on the path I have chosen for the time being. Doesn’t mean I’m not dreaming of a different context, doesn’t mean all of my frustrations have disappeared, doesn’t mean some days are not tougher than others. What this exercise has shown me is, the simplicity that exists between perspective and context and it’s potential power. It has shown me, the fine line between these two concepts that we totally have control over, whether we realise it or not.

Another way of seeing the concept of perspetcive and context I came across is – having grace to stay or faith to go. Both require bravery, strength and digging deep. Neither choice is easier than the other, but have a weighting of value.

My encouragement today is, instead of sitting in frustration, dig deeper into what your really feeling and thinking. Choose to look through the lens of perspective and context and see what changes you can make today, for a better tomorrow.

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Victory

Cultivating creativity

If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.

Albert Einstein

It’s clear that Albert Einstein believes that imagination is the key to real intelligence. Does real intelligence mean we only know facts? Does it mean we are creative? Does it mean we focus on solutions? Is it a mix of all three?

Whatever your position is, imagination allows to see what is not there, and therefore be builders of a new and improved reality.

I was recently challenged around the concept of adults losing their imagination and focusing too much on reality. I am so guilty of this, where I think of a fun, amazing, big blue sky concept only to shoot the thought down within seconds saying that won’t work. That’s not possible.

Who has come across a kid wanting to be a dinosaur when they grow up? It makes you smile right – knowing it’s not possbile but the kid believes it with every bone in their body. Where has that child like imagination, all things are possbile capacity gone? When does it not become a thing anymore as we grow up.

Homes of Victory is all about encouraging families, to think big, plan, grow and be all they can be. What we need more of in our families, in our parenting, is more creativity, more imagination and less barriers in our minds to what is possible. Cultivating creativity takes time, is perhaps a learnt art, of letting go and letting our imaginations run free. One thing I do know is when you do, the joy, the unpredictable and the what was once thought impossible begins to show possibility.

Take some time out to think about your dreams when you were a kid? When you were a teenager beginning to explore the world. What dreams did you have, how have they been squished, how can you revive them?

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Victory

Hard…only cause we care

We found ourselves talking to our kids about having more respect towards each other and us – and indeed everyone they have a conversation with. Words are powerful right. Thanks to the teenage stage, our well-intended correctional chat was met with ” Why do you even care, it’s my choice what I say”. Oh and throw in an eye roll for good measure.

The response was valid and true… but what our teen failed to take into account in this conversation is we care because we love. Our response to this remark was ” We care because we love you. If we didn’t love you, then we honestly wouldn’t care”. Can I also add here in all honesty – sometimes it would be way easier not to care, way less effort to just let things slide, way more peaceful if we didn’t care. By the way we never say this to our kids, it’s merely a back of mind thought.

Love is often in this context the balance between emotion, fun, joy and the other end of the spectrum discipline. The tightrope us parents walk to make sure we build relationship and connection while guiding and correcting.

This response of we care because we love you, works 9 times out of 10. It stops them in their tracks. Why? It makes them think about what I call the train track of being a kid. We have a goal to grow our kids to get them to the station if you like of adulthood with the hope, they are amazing and wonderful and everything in between. However, the only way to get there – is via the track – one side is love and the other is discipline. The two tracks run parallel – sometimes we lean more into one side then the other – but to raise our kids into amazing adults – we need both sides of the track. They too need the boundaries; they need to be valued, and they need to be seen. You can’t have all of that without some form of discipline.

Tired Dad puts it this way

We don’t just raise kids. We raise future adults! who will one day reflect on how they were loved, guided and seen.

Tired Dad

So, dig deep, keep going through the hard. It will absolutely be worth caring in the end.

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Leadership Victory

Where’s your identity?

I was listening to a pod cast ‘ Becoming the Leader Within Us’ by Warren Rustand, where he served as appointment secretary to USA president Gerald Ford and has been the CEO of many companies in his career. In a nutshell a well accomplished businessman. He is also the coauthor of a book titled the Leader Within Us. My goal in listening to this podcast was the glean some further time management skills and to hear how the best of the best time managed a president. I was attuned to listening out for hot tips, and I did glean a few, but what struck a chord with me was the way he wove some very simple yet valuable life lessons into this podcast. After telling story after story about how he managed the Presidents schedule and went home to his own family – a family of 7 children and a faithful wife. The words he spoke that stood out were:

We never exceed our kids’ opinions of us  

Warren Rustand

Boom, how does that make you feel? It took me a minute or two to process that. As adults we often spend our waking hours, trying to work out how to be the best at what we do, how to impress, how to align ourselves to be ready for the next promotion… all those things. Yet do we value the opinion of our children? Does their voice matter? For them, we are all they have. What example are we setting? What encouragement are we giving them?

Another famous Dad (and actor) Adam Sandler was also quoted, and I paraphrase, that a big life lesson he learned in fatherhood is that ‘your kids are not keeping score of your career’. 

I love this perspective, to my family and to your family, it actually doesn’t matter what you do (in the 9 – 5), it’s who you are – every other hour of the week. All they see is you when you are home and how you behave when you are with them. It’s a great reminder, to leave some energy in the tank, for when you get home after work, it’s a great reminder to follow through on your promises, it’s a great reminder to stop and think about who you want to be rather than finding your identity in what you do.

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Victory

Victory doesn’t happen by accident

Hello and thanks for stopping by. We are thrilled to welcome more followers to our blog. We can’t wait to bless you, inspire you and encourage you to live with a victorious mindset.

Have you seen our Family Blueprint yet?
It’s a great way to plan the family life you’ve always wanted.

Over the past few years, it may be because I’m getting older, it may be because my perspective has changed, but I’ve recalibrated my idea of success and really dug deep on what makes me happy and what gives me a sense of achievement.

Over the many years I’ve worked in leadership, I’ve always had strategy, plans and purpose. I lead my team with the goal of growing them to be the best they can be while kicking corporate goals at the same time. In my personal life, I don’t have a 5 year or 10-year plan… What I do is have one overarching goal, that perhaps has helped me recalibrate my idea of success.

My over aching goal is to simply be the best I can be in all areas of my life. For me it also comes down to am I choosing to live by my values in the hard times and easier times?

Whatever way you choose to view your victory, choose to view your measurement of success – just remember it doesn’t happen by accident. Our blog is full of strategies and examples of how to create the home life you’ve always wanted, by creating a family blueprint. It is designed to support and enable you to create the home life you want, while living with a victorious mindset in the middle of the wildest season of life, kids.

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Victory

Which choice?

When it comes to leadership, we often need to make decisions – some with time to think about, others are required in the moment where instinct kicks in.

The average adult makes 35,000 choices a day. This equates to nearly two hours of decision making on any given day. I’ve never given this much thought, but wow – that makes me wonder how many of these decisions do I make subconsciously. If we think about our responses in conversations, a decision is made on what we say…is that more often than not a subconscious response?

On the flip side making decisions about behaviour for example needs to at times be 100% conscious. It allows us to make hard tasks do-able, it enables us to live according to our values and standards even when we really want to remove our filter and tell someone what we really think or behave in a way that we will regret later.

Making conscious choices about our integrity can be challenging, but can I encourage you to stick to your standards and values and make that hard choice and live it out. Grit your teeth, and step by step live out that decision when it comes to integrity.

This quote from General Norman Schwazkoph really puts our choices into perspective:

Leadership is a potent combination of strategy and character. But if you must be without one, be without strategy.

What will you choose when the going gets tough?

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Victory

Turning Up

Sometimes I need to pinch myself; I feel like I have the best team in the world. As a team, we face many challenges not with each other but due to the roles we perform. As a team we are strong, but the challenges of the task at hand often wears us down. To combat this, we’ve recently started doing weekly check ins, that are not process focused team meetings but rather some time carved out each week to debrief, reflect, brainstorm and process the week.

One thing we’ve discussed openly, is the question of ‘How do we turn up?’ How do we want to turn up to our day verses how our day unfolds can be two very different things in terms of emotions and challenges. In my team, it’s easy to get frustrated, emotional and honestly not be our best by the time Friday comes around. I love it, that we can openly say, this made me angry, this made be anxious – name an emotion and someone in my team has probably felt it. What we’ve also asked ourselves as a team is, once we recognise how we are turning up, what are we going to do about it. I can admit some days, the contents of my emails get to me within the first 5 minutes, and I’m grumpy. That’s not how I planned to turn up to my day, but that is the emotional reality. The key is what I do next. The choice I make, influences my team, influences the stakeholders I engage with and ultimately impacts me. It takes courage and bravery to step out of your emotion and choose to turn up how you predetermined you would. My goal is to turn up, positive, open minded and ready to go. I don’t always turn up like this, but it’s my goal.

How we turn up, comes down to the choice we make, not circumstances, not experiences but an intrinsic choice. What we choose to do when we find ourselves not at our best is significant. It determines the influence we have, the atmosphere we generate around us and how much we allow circumstance and experience to control us. Victor Frankl a survivor of the holocaust says it rather eloquently.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Viktor Frankl

We have an unwritten rule in my team, that we can call each other out, if we feel someone is not admitting to being their best self. We not only call it out, but then ask, what can I do for you? As a team we’ve chosen to aim to turn up – courageous, positive and supportive. We may not always get there, and I absolutely do not expect this of my team every day in every way, but I love it that it’s a goal, and that is what we aim for.

Do you need to assess how you show up? This applies to every aspect of our lives- work, home and play. How you allow circumstances and experiences to control you? Once you decide on a goal of how you want to show up, even when it’s hard. You will notice the freedom and the positive influence you have on those around you.

To summarise, ask the following questions:

  1. How do I want to turn up?
  2. If I’m not turning up how I planned, what can I do about it?
  3. If someone else isn’t turning up how they planned, what can I do to help?
Categories
Victory

Reality check

I was listening to a pod cast where Warren Rustand who served as appointment secretary to USA president Gerald Ford and has been the CEO of many companies. In a nutshell a well accomplished businessman. He is also the co-author of a book titled the Leader Within Us. My goal in listening to this podcast was the glean some further time management skills and to hear how the best of the best time manages a president.  I was attuned to listening out for hot tips, I must admit I gleaned a few, but what struck a chord with me was the way he wove some very simple yet valuable life lessons into this podcast. After telling story after story about how he managed the Presidents schedule and went home to his own family – a family of 7 children and a faithful wife. The words he spoke that stood out to me were:

We never exceed our kids’ opinions of us

Warren Rustand

Boom, how does that make you feel? It took me some time to process that. As adults we often spend our waking hours, trying to work out how to be the best at what we do, how to impress, how to strategically place ourselves in position to be next in line for a promotion… all those things are good and okay yet… do we value the opinion of our children? Does their voice matter? For them, we are all they have. What example are we setting? What encouragement are we giving them?

Another famous Dad (and actor) Adam Sandler was also quoted, and I paraphrase, that a big life lesson he learned in fatherhood is that ‘ your kids are not keeping score of your career’. 

I love this perspective, to my family and to your family, it actually doesn’t matter what you do (in the 9 – 5), it’s who you are – every other hour of the week. All they see is you when you are available and how you behave when you are with them. It’s a great reminder, to leave some energy in the tank, for when we hang out with our family, it’s a great reminder to follow through on your promises, it’s a great reminder to stop and think about who you want to be rather than finding your identity in what you do.

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Victory

The Line Through Obstacles

We are reposting a post we wrote back in 2020, it highlights some things we learnt as we spent our time navigating covid and learning to mountain bike. These lessons are still relevant today, and we are still thankful for this lesson we leant. Enjoy!

During ISO our family has discovered that the bush reserve we live near has a ton of mountain bike tracks. Almost every day we have been taking the kids on their bikes exploring the tracks. We have all learnt something very important on these bike rides.

When you are going up or down a large hill, on a dirt track full of gravel, rivets and eroded dirt, it is easy to give up. The obstacle in front of you can seem difficult, it would be easier not to bother.

Going down a large hill, can be scarier than going up a big hill. What we have taught our kids to look for at the top of the hill, is the path the bike wheels are going to take down the hill. We’ve taught them to look for the safest path to go down, avoiding the rocks, roots and whatever other obstacle is in the way. To think about the speed, they need to go down, take a breath and do it – confidently. Why? Because you’ve already chosen the path to take. In teaching them this, we have been able to talk about resilience and also looking for the path that leads them out of the obstacle. Every time, they roll down the hill and onto the flatter part of the track, the smile on their faces says – I did it, I knew I could, that was fun, I can do it again.

I am not belittling the challenges we are all facing in life at the moment, as many are life changing for individuals and families. What I am wanting to share is:

1) Don’t focus on the obstacle at hand. Look for the line, that potentially takes you through it.

2) Take your time. Spend some time in nature. Take notice of the little things and be inspired to relax, think clearly and rationally. Take deep breaths and breathe in all the things you are grateful for. It is easier to make decisions when you are not stressed and under pressure. Thinking clearly and slowly will benefit you and your family.

3. Think about the best path to take. When you are figuratively speaking at the top of a hill, think about the best path to take, and take a leap of faith.

You can do it.

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Victory

Your focus needs focus

I know I am not the only one, when I say, I wish my kids listened the first time, or even the second time… I’m not sure what it is, but this is the phase we are going through, where we – as in my children and I, have different expectations of when I ask them to do something. I’m pretty sure no matter how I ask them to do something – like pop your lunch box on the bench as we walk in the door from school, they hear it and interpret it as – at any point in the future I will do it, if I remember to or feel like it, or I could just ignore the instruction and pretend I’m so tired from school that I couldn’t possibly do anything as difficult as unzip my school bag. Sorry – that rant just happened…. Does anyone else have this kind of rant? or situation in their home?

On the weekend we watched the Karate Kid – the one from 2010. Our kids loved it and we realised this was their first taste of a kung fu / karate movies- oh the can of worms we’ve now opened… The takeaway quote from the whole movie for them was – “I’m focusing”… ” No your focus needs focus”. They laughed about it, repeated it over and over to us and each other.

It raises the question – do we need to refocus our focus? Do I as a parent need to refocus my opinions and thoughts of my kids not listening the first time. Do I need to reduce how much I care about it- and focus on what really matters? I’m not saying I will now remove all responsibility and allow them to do anything they like. They’re part of my family and team so we all have a role to play – but what I will do for my own benefit, is change my focus. I need to give them room to breathe, room to be obedient and take responsibly. The only person upset about the situation is me. Why – because of what I am focusing on.

In our homes, in our workplaces, in our sphere of influence what do we need to focus our focus on? Are we currently looking at what really matters and do it well?

I say, not yet to this question, but I want to. I’m not sure how I will personally get there, time will tell. It’s up to each of us to decide how that will work – but set that goal – have a laugh about how ‘ your focus needs focus’ and work out the best way to refocus on what really matters.

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Victory

Soft is strong

To the Mumma of boys who have soft hearts, I see the silent tears fall, as they tell you about their day. Afraid to ask to play, as the others seem so rough. I see your heart breaking as he navigates friends that have come and gone and friends that are still to come. The softness in his heart is not the lack of brave – but far from it. The pursuit of justice in his mind, is the making of a warrior. He will one day stand tall, undeterred by the arrows that fly by day, or the shadows that creep by night, until then precious one, take heart.

Your boy is stronger than he thinks, wiser than he knows, braver than he gives himself credit for. He can run as he chooses; he seeks truth and justice, he gives with all his might. Others may not see it, others may take advantage, but one thing is for sure- the warrior within is only just getting started. Nurture him, love him, encourage him, push him safely out of his comfort zone to prove he is capable, to show him, he can – when he thinks he can’t.

To the Mumma of boys why are soft hearted, take courage for one day, when he stands like a warrior, he will remember you, he will have the words you spoke into his life, safely tucked into his heart. He will know the value of the nurturing, the value of your patience and the value of your never-ending love.

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Victory

Perspective

I was recently reminded of how important having the right perspective is. When we walk through a city with towering skyscrapers – how intimidating are they, yet when we see it from a bird’s eye view – that intimidation dissipates. Here is a repost from 2021 when we first took a look at perspective and just how influential it can be when we change it.

Here is our original Perspective post:

Perspective is one of those things that’s in the eyes of the beholder. How we see things is exactly that – how we see it. At times we can become so consumed with the perspective we see, it is difficult to change our perspective and see the bigger or smaller picture.

Last summer I’ve was blessed to spend some time at the beach both in a tent (read a week of rain…) and a little time in an apartment. When watching the rolling waves with people swimming and playing on the beach from both perspectives – I realized how different it is standing on the beach compared to watching from 19 levels up.

Stay with me here- when standing on the beach the waves were about 4 foot tall, crashing and sloshing and the undercurrent was strong. When standing on the balcony at 19 stories high the waves didn’t look so big and the people swimming looked really close to the shore. Sometimes we just need to zoom out a little. Yes, the waves of life come in their perfect form or messy crash but if we zoom out a little, we still see the wave, but we see the expanse of the ocean and all its wonder.

Another thing to add here is… at times I would much rather be in the waves at the beach – other times I would way rather be watching from a distance – like 19 stories high.

Whatever you are facing today – take a minute to check your perspective. Zoom out a little, take time to see the wonder in the moment – whether it’s a learning opportunity, a tough it out moment or simply one where the bigger picture helps to calm the whole situation.

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Victory

Leadership trait: Imperfection

It’s been a while since we’ve shared about leadership traits and what makes a leader a leader. We’ve shared about a wide range of leadership traits, like courage, integrity, resilience and adaptability… what we haven’t really shared about is the deeper leadership traits that are sometimes easier to ignore, make us feel uncomfortable and to an extent believe we don’t possess.

Often, we look to those in leadership positions with the expectation of perfection. We place often unrealistic assumptions on their behaviour that they will make the best decisions (that matches ours of course), that always takes into account the greater good, that never faulters, that always leads well under pressure, always, always, always…

I want to flip that narrative and ask the question, in your family, in your sphere of influence who do you lead perhaps without realising? Who looks to you to lead? How close to perfection do you get?

There are two positives I wish to pull out of this somewhat gloomy leadership trait of imperfection:

  1. Humility is key. Humility is one of those words that can be misrepresented and misinterpreted. This definition spells it out so clearly, humility is “Modesty, lacking pretence, not believing that you are superior to others.” We lead whether we like it or not and at times, we do get it wrong. You can lead, be in a position of leadership and / or authority but still have humility. It is knowing that you are not superior to others, that you like everyone else, makes mistakes, perhaps to the detriment of your team or not… either way, when we lead with imperfection – we also need to lead with humility. To be able to admit when we are wrong, to be able to say I wasn’t my best that day, to be able to reflect on what can we learn.
  2. Growth is the goal. When we can admit, even in our own minds, that we are imperfect, we can use it as an opportunity to grow. I am not saying strive for perfection, that just isn’t possible. What is possible, is growing in knowledge, growing in capacity, growing in understanding, growing in your leadership abilities, once we grasp that it is 100% okay to lead with imperfection. The freedom that comes with this understanding will transform you and impact the influence you have.

We can take these positives with us into our home and friendships. We can share our learnings, we can keep each other accountable, and we can be human together.

The last thing I want to add about imperfection as a leadership trait is, that there is no use, using the excuse as imperfect to beat ourselves up about the mistakes we make. It is all about acknowledging that imperfection is simply once facet to leadership that exists.

What we choose to do with our imperfection, how we grow and how we process our learnings has the capacity to contribute to an atmosphere of positivity and encourage those around us to have growth mindsets.

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Victory

Navigating hang ups and bang ups

In the last post, hang ups and bang ups we looked at how hang ups and bang ups happen, and how we respond is our choice. As hard as that may be at times, to choose the right response, the integrity filled response, the unexpectedly kind response. After one particular hang up and bang up, I was sent this quote.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

Charles R Swindoll

What I’m interested to hear is what is your first response to this quote?

My first response when reading this quote with a stream of thoughts starting with yes, I can see how that is true, then I moved onto, wait I have no control over what happens to me and how could I possibly try to respond positively all the time to ‘ what happens’… the reality is, there is no real answer. But what we do have in this quote, which is very thought provoking, is once again a choice, we need to step back and make every time we need to respond to something that happens -whether it’s negative or positive. What happens to us, as per the quote, isn’t what we are in control of, what we are in control of is our response. A little daunting isn’t it. Yet, with a little perspective though, it’s easier to see what we do have control of and how our response matters the most.

I am for want of a better word and avid people watcher. I love to observe, I love to chat, and I love to listen to people’s stories. What amazes me, is how different people respond to trauma, how different people celebrate milestones and how people admit to strangers their deepest darkest secrets. Part of my amazement is the learnings and growth in my own life that come from listening and gleaning during these conversations.

What I want to encourage you with, is how you navigate the hang ups and bang ups in life, can inspire others to see their own hang ups and bang ups differently. Sharing your story in the right context with the right person at the right time can make such a huge difference and truly inspire others to live in victory and rethink how they respond to what happens in life.

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Victory

Bang ups and Hang ups

Recently, we visited our niece and all she wanted to do was read books. Reading is my favourite thing to do, encouraging kids to read is a close second, and reading to kids is one of my love languages. The joy that comes from exploring the pages, the pictures, and the words – fills my tank.

At one and a half my niece picked Oh the places you’ll go by Dr Seuss. She wasn’t really interested in the words but the beautifully wild, colourful images. We flicked to the page where it starts…

I’m sorry to say so, but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

Dr Seuss, Oh the Places You’ll go

She just loved the images, she pointed and squealed, and tried to keep turning the pages…I realized in that split second, that’s exactly how I was feeling – that some hang-ups and bang-ups have happened in the last little while. I realized I felt battered in a mental sense, tired from thinking way too much and giving too much credit to the hang-ups and bang-ups that I thought I left in 2023.

Reading on it’s incredible, the joyful spin that Dr. Seuss puts on the bang-ups and hang-ups, he really puts it in perspective. In reality yes, they are not nice, they will happen, but also, in reality, we can move on from the hang-ups and from the bang-ups and into the wonder that is the adventure of life.

So, taking the squealing advice from my niece – keep flicking the pages, to see what happens at the end… zoom out and give your hang-ups and bang-ups some perspective.

When we gain that perspective, we then have a choice to make on how we navigate the hang-ups and bang-ups – because often, these occur thanks to those in our world and it often makes it all the more hurtful – our family, friends, work colleagues, and at times strangers. The choice we have is to process our hurt absolutely, but we have a choice to make in terms of our own behaviour and response.

How will we react, respond, and move on? Often what is harder than experiencing the hang-ups or bang-ups, is choosing to do the right thing, choosing to take the moral high ground, continue to ensure we behave with integrity, and stick to the values we have foundationally in our lives. What we do after the hang-ups and the bang-ups is the most important part of the equation.

The question that now hangs in the air is, what are you going to do next time you have a hang-up or bang-up happen to you? How are you going to approach the situation, knowing at the end of the day you are responsible for your own behaviour and response?