Tag: communication

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Victory

Village building

The age old saying, rings true when raising children – it takes a village. But what if you don’t have a village, what if you are lone rangers, completely independent and don’t have family to step in when you need or want them to.

You build your own village, one person at a time.

Homes of Victory

Raising children is hard work, we cannot beat around the bush. Yes it is rewarding, yes it can be fun and all of those things, but break it all down, it is hard work: Emotionally, physically and we can’t forget financially.

If there is one thing that will make raising children easier and fun-ner (is that even a word?), is doing life with other like-minded people. You may already have your village set and be totally content. On the other hand, you may be feeling alone, and don’t know how to meet like minded people, let alone strangers.

Rest assured, as the leader in your home, as a person of influence in your home, you have all the the tools you need to build a village. It will take time and effort, but your efforts will be greatly rewarded by a sense of belonging, a sense of not doing it on your own, a sense of being able to connect. Life is better together right!

Homes of Victory is designed to be a place of support and a place of community. We are here to assist and point you in the right direction for help. Please reach out and contact us and allow up to support you in building your own village.

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Victory

#kidlogic:tunnels

I caught Moe (aged three) face planting the front of the dishwasher… It looked like he was trying to kiss the stainless steel surface. As I walked past him, just to take a look,  he asked in a muffled voice “ Is it a tunnel?“ No darling…

“ Ohhhhhh” a big whinge ensued while I was trying not to laugh out loud.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Stop waiting for the right answer to begin. You can start simply by asking a question and the process will bring forward more answers and guidance. For example start by simply asking – what can I do right now in my life to be just 10% happier?

Dr Caroline Leaf

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Victory

let me rephrase that…

If we ask the right questions, we can change the world with the right answers.”

Ogwo David Emenike

I feel like everytime I speak to my kids they give me a life lesson in return. At the moment, my four year old is giving me a run for my money. The latest phrase out of her mouth is, ” I’m four, I can do what I want”- all said with a hand on her hip. That might very well be true in her mind, but the reality is far removed from that. She pulls the phrase out in context which makes me proud and on the other hand completely frustrated.

The thing I am learning through this season is, if I direct her in a way that she doesn’t realise she is being directed in then she complies. She still feels like she is in charge and is doing ‘ what she wants’.

In leadership – at times, we need to sit back and look at challenges and issues within our teams and projects and pinpoint the RIGHT question to get to the RIGHT answer. It is great to brainstorm the issue and circle back around to parked ideas, and label something as innovative… but if the right question is not asked – the right answer will not be found.

It’s the same with my four year old – if I fight her on the issue of ‘doing what she wants’, I wouldn’t be achieving my goals of getting her to do what I want – like brushing her teeth. If I roll with the punches so to speak, I need to ask the right questions and get her to give me the ‘right’ answer which is in essence obedience. Are you following me?

The question may not be a matter of how, it may be a matter of who. The answer may not be a matter of when, it may be a matter of why. If we ask questions others are afraid to ask, if we seek the answers that others may be too meek to seek, things will start to change – for the better.

Going back to my example – my home is actually calmer because I chose to rephrase my questions to make sure I still get the ‘ right’ answer – but I only get that by asking the ‘ right’ question. She can believe what she wants in her mind – she may think she is doing what she wants – but she’s not. What the outcome is – is a calm home – a change for the greater good of my family. I know she will grow out of this, and I know we will move onto the next challenge.

If I am prepared to rephrase, I am prepared for the best outcome.

Homes of Victory

How can you rephrase your questions / directions / etc… in your home?

How could you apply this in your role as a leader in your home and sphere of influence?

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Victory

#kid logic: forget something

Lalee at 6 years old…

I was taking Lalee for a girls shopping morning, so before we went I wrote a quick list. Thinking I had forgotten something I gave her the list and asked if she could think of anything else to add. She took her time to read the list carefully. Looking up she said ” You forgot your punctuation”.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Share your dream with people who want you to succeed.

Bishop T. D Jakes
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Victory

Silence

Silence is of different kinds and breathes different meanings.

Charlotte Brontë, author of Villette

What do you think about when you hear the word silence. For me it is two fold. My first thought is my kids must be doing something sneaky – or they are asleep (which is highly unlikely). My second thought is – I really want it sometimes. Just for a moment, but it seems elusive. What do you think of when you hear the word silence?

The things is, when I do get to a place where there is silence, my thoughts fill my mind and their seems to be an outpouring of thoughts, voices, ideas etc… It almost feels noisier in my mind than in the world that surrounds me. The thing about silence that I particularly love is, it gives me a chance to thread my thoughts, learnings and ideas into a meaningful pattern, that gives me more go, when the real life noise starts again. For me silence doesn’t happen during meditation or actual physical silence, it usually occurs for me, somewhere in the early hours of the morning, as I sit on my back deck listening to the birds as they call to one another as the sun rises. For me it’s thinking time, its figuring out time, its rising and shining time.

I love it how Charlotte Bronte frames the idea of silence. Silence is different things to different people – the thing is what do you do with your silence? Are you recharged by it? Are you too busy listening to the negative that you can’t escape even in the silence? Are you refusing to stop and let the silence, take you to a place of rejuvenation? A place of working things out – of taking time to process decision, challenges and the like.

It’s a challenge – don’t get me wrong I know it. I’ve had days where I’ve just taken a walk, stepped outside and given myself time out from the dramas of the kids or the day. At lunch time at work, I go for a walk to clear my head, I change my framework for a moment – to get silence and clarity. What do you do?

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Victory

#kidlogic: compromise

I need to admit that I have taught my children the word compromise in its full definition. It’s the only way, I can get what I want without them realising… Yes, this has also backfired, as it does with most kids who learn a new word.

Turning up late and in a flurry at kindy to do the usual pick up, I was stopped by Lalee’s beautiful teacher. I feel we have a great relationship and can talk about things that occur . On this particular day, months after my ‘compromise’ technique had been implemented and was working nicely. Miss K began to tell me that she asked the whole class to start packing up the toys ready for story time. Lalee, proceeded to tell her teacher that she thought they should compromise, so she could continue to play  for 5 minutes while the others packed up. ( yes , she was very specific about the whole 5 minute thing). Upon being told ‘ no… we all pack up together’. Lalee took things into her own hands. She told the teacher that the ‘ naughty boys’ in her class (who actually listen to her), to clean up her section while she proceeded to go to the other side of the room to continue playing. When she was asked to help, her response was, “ I compromised with the boys, they are packing up while I play.”… I apologise unreservedly for teaching my child the word compromise. It selfishly helps me at home, but works against the whole system outside of my home. Looks like, the next word I’ll teach her, definition and all is team work.

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Victory

Surrender

As we find ourselves, waking up this Good Friday, the day we remember the ultimate sacrifice Jesus made, dying on a Roman cross in order to conquer death for all of humanity. I find myself asking the question,

What if victory means surrender?

Often, we think of victory as winning, as being the best, as making the biggest sacrifice in order to make it to the top. When I think of Victory, in context of the cross, in terms of Jesus death and resurrection, the word that plays over and over in my heart is surrender. For Jesus to be Victorious He Surrendered.

Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.

Luke 22: 42 (NIV)

The humanness of surrender seems like such a difficult concept in the 21st Century.   The advocacy of “me” and “what I want” seems to drown out any other social concept in humanity.  Jesus was the ultimate servant leader, who put himself last, who laid down His life, the ultimate sacrifice, in doing so conquering death for all of humanity. When we gather this Easter, however that may look for you – together as a family, with friends or for those who are still only able to connect online, take some time to consider, that to be victorious – it takes surrender. Surrender to the one who is victorious over death, the one who sacrificed it all – that we might live. Jesus didn’t come to Earth, with a set of rules, nor did He come with any other intention of bringing freedom wrapped up in love, mercy, and grace.

Whatever your opinion is of church, Christians, and religion, set those thoughts aside and focus on Jesus and the victory He has over death, the surrender, the sacrifice He made for you. For all of humanity. Take a moment to pause and reflect.

  16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16 (NIV)

Want to know more about Jesus, more about Easter, more about the bible

Alpha: https://www.alpha.org.au/try or search for an online Easter service online.

Please contact us, if we can help you any further. Love to you all this Easter.

.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

Success for leadership is . . . knowing the great art of directing others without their noticing it.

Anonymous
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Victory

#homesofvictory

Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.

John Maxwell
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Victory

#kidlogic: lizards

“ Mum… my friend Lucy is a thorny devil.”

“A what?”

“ A thorny devil”

“ Really”

“ Yes, her Grammy told her that she was, and if she wasn’t careful she would be thrown into the fire”

“ Well that’s not very nice..” doubting the conversation was relayed correctly.

“ No it’s not.”

Two weeks later… I’m serious she thinks about things in depth…

“ Mum where do Thorny Devils live?”

“ I don’t know sweetheart.”

“ I think they are naughty people… where do naughty people live?”

“ Naughty people can live anywhere..”

“ Oh, I’m glad there are none in Brisbane.” She sounded so relieved… as she simply decided how life is.

“ I hope you don’t call any one a Thorny Devil… it’s not a nice thing to say.”

“ Oh no I don’t, but Lucy does.”

“ Well make sure you always use kind words.”

“ Okay Mum”

A week later and it finally clicked in my mind that a thorny devil is a lizard, gee I need to scrub up on my animal species. It all makes perfect sense… now. Upon sharing my new found knowledge with Lalee, the response was:

“ What! Do naughty people get turned into lizards… Oh my goodness.”

Sigh…. This is going to be a long conversation.

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Victory

#homesofvictory

   Don’t trade in your integrity for influence.

Richie Norton
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Victory

#kidlogic: home

Lalee:“ Mum why do houses stay in the one place ALL day?”

Try answering that questions when your 3 year old asks you in all seriousness… I decided to take the, because they have deep foundations in the ground and don’t have legs route…

Lalee: “ Well that’s boring”…

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Victory

#kidlogic: coffee

I love it how Dads play with their kids. It is so different to how Mums play… the only thing is they get sucked in before they realise – cue the bad guy laughter…

Act1: Playing cafes in the lounge room with Dad

Dad(D):  Hi can I buy some coffee?

Lalee(L): That will be one hundred million dollars

D: Do you think that’s a bit much for coffee?

L: Guess you won’t be buying coffee then.

Lalee gracefully walked off and started to play another game. Her poor Dad was left a little confused. Later he confessed, he nearly asked if that that is how you  play shops… but thought better of it. He wanted to enjoy his real ‘ far cheaper’ coffee in peace.

Act 2: Another day of playing cafe’s…

L“ Dad… would you like to order a coffee?”

D“ Sure, one coffee please”

L“ That will be one million dollars.”

D“ Really?”

L“ Yes.” Was the adamant response.

D“ That’s expensive coffee, could I get a discount?”

L“ No”

D“ Oh that’s a shame…”

L“ Oh! well no coffee then…”

So much for compassion, generosity and kindness….