A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives a wink
Gina Carey
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# homesofvictory
Tag: collaboration
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# homesofvictory
One minute of anger weakens the immune system for 4 to 5 hours. One minute of laughter boosts the immune system for 24 hours.
Robyn Pryor
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#homesofvictory
Leaders instill in their people a hope for success and a belief in themselves. Positive leaders empower people to accomplish their goals.
unknown
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Don’t find the fault, find the remedy.
Henry Ford
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What are you empty of?
I don’t know about you, but in the hustle and bustle of life, how full does your brain feel? Mine feels… overflowing. I’ve recently started a new job which is AMAZING, and our family has been adjusting fairly well to the changes with that. But one thing my husband said to me over the weekend caught my attention. You see, in taking up this new role, I went in with eyes wide open, and a mindset of not only doing the task well but making sure my family and marriage came first and remained first. All other things would flow from that. The thing he said to me was, “I didn’t tell you…… during the week, you looked like you had too many tabs open in your mind”.
Now I am a sucker for starting to read two or three books at a time, I’ve always had a busy mind. I will write shopping lists, to do lists – and exhaust those just watching me get organised. But… what I need to realise – and wish I had done so earlier was that my brain – actually needs space to be my brain and simply function. I overload it with things that really shouldn’t come anywhere near the priority list. Are you with me? I realised I worry about people and events I read about in the news, I scroll through snap shots of other peoples lives and start to grow stories in my mind of the what if’s and could be’s. All of this is unnecessary. All of this is just overwhelming – especially when we add it to our daily intake of stuff.
Not only am I trying to work out dinner for my family, and listen to the battles of their day, work out the bickering between the kids and so on, I am taking on the worries of the world – when really, I don’t need to and really, I shouldn’t. This may I add is different to empathy – empathy is great and amazing – at the right time and place. What I am talking about here is taking on the worries of the world and carrying them like a burden – a backpack of worry.
How many of us are guilty of this? Filling our minds with what isn’t ours to worry about? Filling the gaps of precious down time we have with everything else but just being still and enjoying the moment. I came across this quote which came at a very apt time, when all of these thoughts about what I take in each and every day. Augustine once said
We must empty ourselves of all that fills us so we may be filled with what we are empty of.
Augustine
Now ask yourself, what is it that fills up your brain? Work, living, chores, anxiety, worry, feeling overwhelmed? What is it that you need to take away or empty yourselves from, so that you can be filled again?
To put Augustine’s quote to the test, and to personally challenge my scrolling addiction, I jumped off the social media bandwagon for 21 days. Can I just say, it was hard at first, but it got easier and better. I filled my usual scrolling time with reading and chatting to my kids and being more present that I already was. I feel I have started a new habit of scrolling less and connecting more.
What are you going to do?
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#homesofvictory
I’m not raising my kids to survive the world. I’m raising them to change it.
Steven Furtick, author of Sun Stand Still
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Never give up on what you really want to do. The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.
Albert Einstein
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forget for 15
Have you forgotten how to dream? How to think big? How to think beyond this season?
Here at Homes of Victory we encourage you to spend 5 to 10 minutes a day with your loved one, asking what if, with no restrictions, no can nots, no parameters. Don’t be afraid to think big – think beyond the unknown. Have a bit of fun and get to know each other better. You never know where the conversation will take you.
We started doing this for a period of time earlier in the year, we were inspired by this book ‘ What if’ . We would fill out a page every day and leave it on each others pillow. Eventually we started to make time to talk about our answers. It’s interesting, as we began to answer more questions we realised my beloved is a dreamer and from my answers I am clearly a realist. It has taken me some time, to drop the barriers and restrictions I put on my thoughts and dreams, but these conversations certainly have helped.
Here are some what if questions to get you started.
- If you could design a building what would it house?
- What if you were given a million dollars and had to spend it today what would you buy?
- If you could have any hairstyle what would it be?
Enjoy learning about each-other and yourself, and have a conversation that is not about the kids, or work or life for once… We would love to hear how you go.
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Stop waiting for the right answer to begin. You can start simply by asking a question and the process will bring forward more answers and guidance. For example start by simply asking – what can I do right now in my life to be just 10% happier?
Dr Caroline Leaf
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Share your dream with people who want you to succeed.
Bishop T. D Jakes
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When you feel overwhelmed, remember; A little at a time is how it gets done. One thing, one task, one moment at a time.
Author Unknown
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my own makerspace
In recent times, maker spaces have become extremely popular in public libraries. A space where members have free access to tools, equipment and the like, things they would not normally have access to. Some libraries, house sewing machines, 3D printers, wood lathes, jigsaws, drills, tools that can be borrowed such as screwdrivers etc… It has become popular to borrow the item or use it at the library rather than buy it for one particular task. From the growth of makerspaces, communities with similar interests have grown, no longer are public libraries about book clubs, they are about sewing groups and budding designers. Libraries are also introducing STEM packs for parents to borrow like robots and coding information, toy swags and other innovative ways to bring to library to the home and users.
Upon reflecting on this, even though I work in this field and love it, I feel I actually have no time to spend in these kinds of creative spaces. What I need is a makerspace in my mind… a way to make space for creativity, a way to reduce my open tabs to none and just have the capacity to be creative. I need to admit that my creativity of late has been reduced to moving my pot plants around on my deck – in a bid to make it ‘ look nicer’ and to try my hand at painting. Of which I feel I am failing miserably at, as I sit down to focus on a tutorial and within 10 minutes I’m up because I forgot to do something (more) important.
Usually, I am a swimmer and swimming laps, although boring for some, actually helps me clear my mind and focus. My best thinking occurs, following the black line up and down the pool. I’ve let my discipline slip and allowed my incredible capacity to make up excuses take over… oh the pool is shut, no… it’s open again… wow its winter and it’s gonna be cold in a heated pool…All of which holds little truth, but it’s enough to keep me warm in bed, when I should be swimming rather than complaining that I don’t have any maker space left in my brain…
What I am getting at is, we all need a makerspace in our minds – to be able to deal better with the everyday. To deal better when our kids throw the tenth tantrum of the day or when our other half can’t find what they’re looking for, even when it’s right in front of them… ( sorry love but it’s true)…
What provides you with your maker space? Meditation? Sport? Reading? Sewing? Drawing? Creating?
Do you allow yourself time to have that headspace?
What impacts does it have on you when you don’t have time to yourself?
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#kidlogic: animals
Sparkie@4yrs old (S): Hey Mum I really want to ride a flamingo
Mum(M): Oh darling, I don’t think they would like that
S: Why?
M: They’re not that big and you are heavy
S: I’m four, it should be okay
M: Maybe think of another animal to ride, like a horse
S: Hey Mum, can I touch a sloth
M: Probably not, I don’t think they like being touched.
S: Can you go tell the zoo I want to touch a sloth, quietly when its asleep
M: Oh the zoo is a long way away and I can’t do that now
S: Ok Mum, tomorrow?
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it’s not how
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.
General George Smith Patton, Jr.
I love the mind of a child. I love watching and learning. At times I ask my children to do something, and the way they do it is rather surprising. As adults we can assume that children know how to do it the way we want it done, without telling them. Other times, we are perplexed why they don’t know how to do something we’ve shown them ten times over.
An example of this, is a recent three day screen ban in our home. I won’t go into why the ban was put in place, but what I will say is be prepared to follow through on a threat – even it is causes you pain! Any way, on day one, when I was told, “I’m bored”, ” I don’t know what to do”. The resounding response was go outside and play. We are very blessed with a back yard, and in that yard we have a grassed area big enough to kick a ball and gardens filled with native plants and a mature mango tree. Before I knew it, my two eldest children were designing a treehouse, they were pestering my husband for use of a drill and had called their grandpa and organised for him to bring over some items they needed to build it. Within the three days, a basic tree house was built. No screens, no fights, no tantrums, no disobedience. Plain and simple – getting along, communicating, teamwork and fun.
They surprised me no end, and I was very proud how they copped the ban on the chin, and focused on what they could do, rather than what they knew the couldn’t ( or rather were not allowed to do)
Sometimes, we need to remember in life, we don’t need to over complicate things, by adding the ‘ how’ into every conversation, but rather take a deep breath – ask, tell, direct, whatever the basic instruction maybe – and let the how take care of itself.
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Resistance
Nothing gets stronger without resistance.
Steven Furtick
In leadership, nothing provokes frustration like resistance. We all have ways of working around it, like change management, innovation, the like it or lump it mentality – the list goes on. May I add here, when parents face resistance from their offspring, many of these work arounds occur too… including ignoring and hoping it goes away…
When we look at resistance in term of lifting weights or exercising – resistance shines in a positive light. When we face resistance we get stronger. When we continue to face the resistance the resistance reduces – as our strength increases.
The question I pose is this – even though resistance in whatever form it comes, can be frustrating – can it also contribute to growth?
We all have that person in our lives, that makes it a little difficult, one where we try to work with them, try to collaborate with them, try to make it the relationship better- sometimes the resistance will always be there – but sometimes it will be the thing that makes us a better person.
I can’t help but put this example in here, I love my kids so much. One thing I have come to realise when I compare them to others ( we try not to but you know it happens) that my kids are not compliant. I mean, not compliant by any means. They are good kids, they do behave well but they are questioners. When I was a kid, I was satisfied when I questioned and got the answer “because I said so” – who agrees right – some times as parents we just say so.
Oh no, not my kids. They question, and negotiate, fuel the conversation with more resistance, add more curiosity and at times it never seems to end. To be honest – I love this trait, we have raised them to be curious and to question – but sometimes I just wish they would accept the answer “because I said so.” With that said, the resistance over the years – and I mean that with kindness, the curiosity we have encountered, the long into the night conversations about the name of the bone in our nose… we know we are definitely more intelligent, more prepared for conversations and know what to expect. In this instance, resistance has made us stronger.
What type of experiences have you had where resistance has made you a better leader? Better parent? Better person?
Homes of Victory 